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3am facing fears

I keep waking up during the night and then start thinking about everything - questioning why us?
- I have realised that my worst fear is that I've left it too late to have a family- we are 35, our first pregancy was ectopic which has resulted in me having a tube removed although my fertility is reduced it is still possible - when feeling positive I know my remaining tube is ok, but can;t help blaming myself for leaving no 'room for error' ie thought i would get pregnant and that would all be fine so didn;t start trying till last year

Admitting this to myself is pretty difficult, don;t think lack of sleep and too much thinking time is helping

Does this sound familiar to anyone? Any tips for sleeping better?
Many thanks


  • Hi Daisy,
    I'm really sorry for your loss, the 3am wake up is the worst isn't it? In the first few days after the mmc I used to wake at around that time and cry, everything always seems so much worse at that time.

    I don't think you have left it too late but I understand why you are worried, and you are right it is still very possible but thats no help to you in the middle of the night. The best thing I can suggest is to take a notepad to bed with you tonight and when you wake up wrote down all your fears, I find this helps when I have too much on my mind and can't sleep and it might help for you. Writing this kind of thing down is also very cathartic.
  • Hi Daisy,

    I think the problem with pregnancy is that we all think it's so easy and natural, and that when we start trying it will happen straight away. I guess it could be something to do with our upbringing I know for me I was so worried when I was alot younger that I didn't want to fall pregnant but it would seem that I shouldn't have worried so much.

    I am 38 and for us the past six years nothing has happened, until February of this year. We were both so delighted as we really thought there was something wrong with me (my husband has children through a previous marriage) but we really didn't want to go through all the trauma of finding out what was wrong so we were if something happens then fantastic if not then so be it.

    But now I have been pregnant I want to be pregnant again, desperatly, and feel like you that I have left it too late and not sure I can back track on all that I have said over the past few years about not wanting to find out if there is a problem.

    But these days alot of women are getting pregnant later in life and you are only 35 so still young. There is still every chance that you will become pregnant again and from what you say that you only started trying last year and managed to fall pregnant so I beleive it with certainly happen again for you.

    I have a friend who also had an ectopic and had to have one of her tubes removed and she managed to fall pregnant again, so really there is every hope. With a bit of PMA and lots of BDing at the right time I am sure you will get your hearts desire.

    As for sleep mine is like you my brain is just working overtime, personally what is helping me is a nice relaxing bath, then reading a lovely girly book and listening to my ipod. Works every night to get my brain to switch off. If I wake and then cant get back to sleep again the ipod is my saviour at the moment.

    Leigh-Anne x
  • Hi
    Just wanted to say thanks for your replies, I will try the bath and maybe a glass of wine! and I've started a diary -
    Thank you for your positive story re ectopic, I think we can keep reading stats and it doesn;t always help and if these messgeboards show anything, its that we all have different experiences, whatever our age and history
    I am sorry for your losses and hope you get your BFP's soon
  • Hi Daisy - hope you're doing ok? Thinking of you x
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