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Options
I need help with deciding on D&C or Medical Management
Some of you will know I've had a missed miscarriage where no heartbeat was found at my 12 week scan and baby was only 7 weeks. 
The baby doesn't seem to want to leave me as I've not had much blood loss, just brown spotting and mild cramps now and then.
I have an appointment at the EPU on Thursday morning for a scan and advice but I have been told I need to make a decision on what to do next if my pregnancy is still there.
I know I have to make a decision but it's hard as they both carry risks but I'm also putting myself at risk doing nothing and could get bad infections as it's been 6 weeks now since baby died. It's comforting baby still being there but I just don't know how long it will take to pass naturally.
Anyway, I would just like experiences of both the D&C and Medical Management but my mind is swaying more to the Medical Management as the D&C carries more risk of infection or punctured uterus. I'm just scared of the pain with Medical Management.
Could my baby be analysed to try and see what was wrong as I keep wracking my brains wondering why. I know it obviously wasn't meant to be at this time but I also can't help thinking it was something I did wrong or because I get very stressed and anxious alot.
Also, has anyone gone on to have a healty pregnancy after either of these?
Any help would be much appreciated. x x x
The baby doesn't seem to want to leave me as I've not had much blood loss, just brown spotting and mild cramps now and then.
I have an appointment at the EPU on Thursday morning for a scan and advice but I have been told I need to make a decision on what to do next if my pregnancy is still there.
I know I have to make a decision but it's hard as they both carry risks but I'm also putting myself at risk doing nothing and could get bad infections as it's been 6 weeks now since baby died. It's comforting baby still being there but I just don't know how long it will take to pass naturally.
Anyway, I would just like experiences of both the D&C and Medical Management but my mind is swaying more to the Medical Management as the D&C carries more risk of infection or punctured uterus. I'm just scared of the pain with Medical Management.
Could my baby be analysed to try and see what was wrong as I keep wracking my brains wondering why. I know it obviously wasn't meant to be at this time but I also can't help thinking it was something I did wrong or because I get very stressed and anxious alot.
Also, has anyone gone on to have a healty pregnancy after either of these?
Any help would be much appreciated. x x x
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Replies
i remember being in the same situation as you - just not knowing which option to choose. for me, having known that i'd been carrying on as "normal" with no bleeding or anything, and with no signs of it wanting to come away, i wanted things over with as soon as possible and i was scared of the pain. so even though i was scared of the operation i chose that option as i only had to wait 2 days.
if you want to know in detail about my ERPC i will tell you - let me know. someone posted their experience for me when i was trying to decide (i might try and bump it up for you if i can find it) and that helped me.
i do not think the baby can be analysed to find out what went wrong. i know that i had to sign a form before my op to say what should happen to the "products" and i ticked for them to be tested - but i was told that i would only be contacted if there was something seriously wrong and that i could not be given a reason for my mc.
it is natural to wonder if you did something wrong - i keep thinking the same but i have to realise that MCs are such a common thing unfortunately and this time it wasn't meant for us. but there is nothing to say that when we get pg again we will have another mc.
let us know what you decide, we are all here for you xxx
firstly, there is nothing you could have done to prevent this happening. it's natural to wonder why it's happened but it happens so often. i have decided it was nature's way of saying that this one was not strong enough and so my body made the decision.
like you i found out at my 12 week scan that baby had died at 9 weeks. i decided to have medical management. my scan was on 24th june, i had first tablet on 25th and went in to hosp all day on 26th for the rest of the tablets. they keep you in for about 8 hours (i stayed 12 as things were slow). they monitor you after first set of tablets (bp, temp etc) and check to see if you start to bleed. i didn't bleed until 2nd set of tablets which i was given after 4 hours. i had no pain whatsoever but they did give me painkillers at the start of the day so that pain relief was already in my system before anything happened. (e-mail me if you want more details. don't want to post in case some people think it's too graphic). i went home about 9pm and was bleeding heavily but it was bearable.
i bled for maybe 3 days heavily then it started to calm down and then it started again after a few days. all in all i bled on and off for almost 2 weeks. i went back to hosp last thurs for a follow up appt. i was given a pg test to see what's what and it came back positive. i had an internal and then they booked me in for a scan on friday. it showed that i still had some "products" left and so went back into hosp yesterday to try medical management again. it didn't work and i had to have erpc (d&c) last night which i hadn't wanted at the start. it wasn't as bad as i had thought although i was really upset when i came round as i realised that it was finally over and my baby was gone.
medical management works 95% of the time. it didn't work for me - twice. my miscarriage has been going on for 4 weeks now and although at the minute i'm not bleeding i am unsure whether i could start again.
my expereince of medical management isn't "normal" i guess as i didn't suffer any pain. i think that whichever choice you opt for it will be difficult and possibly painful. i know that if this were ever to happen to me again i would probably opt for erpc as it seems quicker.
i don't know if you are any the wiser now as reading back, i have babbled! you could do with reading about someone who had a positive experience of medical management. whenever i asked someting at the hospital they always said that everyone is different, there is no "normal" and that no one's experience of miscarriage is the same whichever option they took.
hope it all goes well for you whatever you decide and if you ever want to ask anything don't be afraid to ask.
take care
xxx
Very sorry to hear what has happened. Like lula-belle mentioned everyone's m/c experience is different, but speaking from my personal experience - for me the best option was a D&C - I had a very small bleed at 9 weeks, went for a scan to double check everything was ok. and found out baby had died at 7and a half weeks. I left it over the weekend to decide and see if anything would happen naturally and i found it soo difficult i felt i couldn't move on or try and grieve because i was waiting for it to happen - i didnt want to leave the house incase it got bad i therefore choose to have the op.
From my experience it was painless, went in Hosp for one day bled for 5 days afterwards and it was a sense of relief allbeit still very emotional.
I also gathered advice from my family/doctor before i made a decision.
Nic xx
I've decided to have the medical management tomorrow as I really don't want an operation. I may have to have it if the pills don't work as I've read stories that tissue can still remain afterwards.
I'm really thinking that my pregnancy is still there as I've passed nothing that resembles my baby or placenta, just tiny tiny bits in the brown blood. God knows what the bit of red was I lost last week at the hospital. Maybe the placenta had come away though I'm not sure if that would have caused pain and can't come out as my cervix are tightly closed.
I've asked for a transvaginal scan to see if my baby is any smaller and internal examination to check if my cervix are open ready to pass. I'll hopefully get a clearer picture of what's going on tomorrow.
I've decided to have the medical management tomorrow as I really don't want an operation. I may have to have it if the pills don't work as I've read stories that tissue can still remain afterwards.
I'm really thinking that my pregnancy is still there as I've passed nothing that resembles my baby or placenta, just tiny tiny bits in the brown blood. God knows what the bit of red was I lost last week at the hospital. Maybe the placenta had come away though I'm not sure if that would have caused pain and can't come out as my cervix are tightly closed.
I've asked for a transvaginal scan to see if my baby is any smaller and internal examination to check if my cervix are open ready to pass. I'll hopefully get a clearer picture of what's going on tomorrow.
will be thinking of you
big hugs xx
the first tablet they give you makes your womb more supple and can start to break down the lining of your womb. it also opens up your cervix to make it easier for the pregnancy to pass. i had two vaginal scans and they were both ok, not uncomfortable at all.
ask for pain killers if they don't offer them at the start. hope it all goes ok for you. xxx
When I had my 1st MC I carried the baby 9 weeks after she died. One night I had 3 hours of contractions (extreem minstral cramps) passed lots of blood and clots. I had a 6" clot that I assumed was the baby. the pain stopped and I felt fine. 20 minutes later I had to push and it was VERY ovious it was the sac.
Several of the DR's I saw wanted me to have the D&C. I found a few DR's that supported my decision and just had me come in every week until my HCG levels reached 0.
Good Luck and just trust your heart.
(I just had a miscarraige at 16wks 3days - the baby died around 13wks 5 days. It was totally different. My water broke after 2 hours of light contractions and only the dark dark spotting for 5 days. When I sat on the toilet, the baby was already out. I lost too much blood b/c I quit having contractions and the placenta never came out. I went to the hospital and the DR was able to pull it out with some forcepts. NO D&C!! I was so happy - concidering the situation.)
I tell you the 2nd situation just to let you know that just like pregnancies and L&D, all miscarriage are different.
[Modified by: ithurts on July 26, 2008 07:41 PM]
Half an hour after taking the two pills to expel the baby and other tissue, I went to the loo and felt a popping feeling inside and lost lots of blood then things began to pass.
I was at the hospital 8 hours altogether and luckily passed everything whilst I was on the loo or held it in until I got tissue paper. I felt like I needed a wee lots of times but I guess that was the pressure of things coming down. I got a private room with a toilet which I'm glad about as I wanted privacy.
The physical side of my m/c is almost over now I guess but the emotional side of things will take longer to heal.
I'm going to buy a box for keepsakes of my baby. My pregancy tests, scan pic and I'm going to buy a little teddy bear for him/her too. I'll never forget this baby and the box will help me heal.
i'm glad that it's almost all over physically. i like your idea of a keepsake box - it will help. i think mrs e suggested getting a bear from a build-a-bear. i did this and have found that it does help. we used to call our baby "tadpole" and so we named our hippo tadpole too! he is gorgeous and we intend to give him to our next tadpole whenever that may be. it's just nice to cuddle him when we are sad.
i hope you start to heal soon. like others have said, i will never forget my tadpole but as time goes on it gets a little bit easier and i am feeling more positive. i just want to move on and try again.
take care
xxx