FAO Caz2008

Hi Caz,

I notice in some posts that you are looking for advice regarding your D&C and getting on with life.

I don't know who told you to "get on with your life" but they deserve a slap.

I have a D&C last march when I was 14 weeks as my baby didn't have a fully formed skull and would not have survived outside the womb. It's an incredibly traumatic thing to go through but there are many ways of trying to make it easier for yourself.

I found writing a letter to the baby a lot of help - you can put anything in it and kept the letter and read it until the pain eased and when I felt I could cope with the pain on my own I burnt the letter.

I also found lighting a candle and talking to it like it was my baby helped - there was a lot of crying but it almost feels like a release.

Also if you have anything for the baby or that reminds you of the baby perhaps make a box for it and keep the box in a special place or even bury it.

I know these suggestions may sound silly, but I thought I would share my experience.

There is time for you to have a baby still - my closet friend was 45 when she gave birth to her first so you must never say never.

I hope this has helped a little and if you ever need to talk you know where we are.

Caz
xxx