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It hurts so bad!
Hi ladies, I dont really know where to start. I miscarried a few days ago, was 8 weeks. Had to go back to hospitial for scan to make sure everything had gone and to my horror it hadnt, they wanted to remove the last of my baby suricaly (sp?? ) but after lots of tears (as i didnt want this) they decided to give me tablets to empty my womb, so yesterday I had to go through the pain all over again. This really has been the worst time of my life and I dont know how I am supposed to deal with this. I already have a daughter who is almost 2 and the most important thing in my life, but it doesnt help with the pain im going through.
I cant stop thinking about my baby and thinking that I might have done something wrong, it hurts soooo much and I keep breaking down in tears.
Does it get any better?
I want to try again for another asap my my oh doesnt, he wants to wait and he said he doesnt know how long for.
Any advice would be good, i know it sounds silly but i feel like i have no one to talk to xxxx
I cant stop thinking about my baby and thinking that I might have done something wrong, it hurts soooo much and I keep breaking down in tears.
Does it get any better?
I want to try again for another asap my my oh doesnt, he wants to wait and he said he doesnt know how long for.
Any advice would be good, i know it sounds silly but i feel like i have no one to talk to xxxx
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Replies
I am so sorry for your loss.
I mc'ed in July at 10 1/2 weeks and again almost 2 weeks ago at almost 5 weeks. Yes, it does get easier, but it takes time. I don't think the pain will ever go away but you learn how to live with it and in time you learn how to remember the good times of being pregnant.
Most mc's happen due to chromosonal abnormalities that are beyond our control. Like you I blamed myself and came up with a huge list of things that might have caused the mc (in my mind) - my doctor dismissed every single one of them.
I am sorry your OH doesn't want to try again yet - has he said why? I think it is perfectly normal for you to want to try again straight away...many (I'd say most) girls on here are the same and have started trying again right away. With my 1st Mc I waited for 2 AF's because I was further along but after this one we have decided to try again right away.
We are always here to listen and talk - everyone is great and so understanding.
Take care, NN xx
I am so sorry for your loss.
I suffered my 2nd MC last week. Was 11 weeks and baby stopped growing at 6/7 weeks. I had ERPC as been bleeding for 3 weeks and pg sac was still there.
I also have a little girl who will be 2 in dec. I understand what you mean by it doesnt make it any easier to deal with the pain.
It does get easier over time but you will always think about it every now and again. I still think about my first mc and that was ova a year ago now.
Please dont think you have done anything wrong, i keep doing that but docs said there was nothing i did wrong just one of those things doesnt make it easier tho.
I am sorry to hear your OH doesnt want to try again straight away. My OH wamts to wait til Jan til we try again but now sure how i feel yet as still bleeding from this MC.
If you need someone to talk to or just rant to feel free.
xxxx
I had a mmc at 10wks almost a month ago (I'm trying desperately not to hang on to any dates to remember exactly). It turned into an incomplete mc after a few days, and then I had the erpc to remove what was left. This was my first pregnancy and we were totally devastated that something like this could happen to us. You just think "why me?", "what did I do wrong?" It is natural to go through all the motions, we all did. And then there will be things that people say that will make you think even worse things (they mean well, they can just say all the wrong things). Don't take any notice of any of it. Like Nik says, more often than not it is due to chromosonal problems and nature has taken care of it. It would have only been more difficult had the pregnancy continued further. If in doubt though about any fears as to why it may have happened, speak to your doc just for piece of mind (and they will dismiss it all!)
Your OH may not want to try again just yet but remember he is also going through this loss too. We all deal with things differently and he may feel differently in a few days or weeks. Just give him some time. You need to give yourself some time to grieve too. But if you both decide on trying again straight away then go for it. A lot of us have, some have already been successful too, and some of us are still waiting in hope. Others need to wait to give themselves time to heal physically and emotionally (both partners).
We are always here whenever you need us though xx
Its only been a few days and im still a bit of a mess, i just hope to feel better soon.
I think i need to give myself time to grieve and get over this before ttc again.
Good luck and best wishes to u all xxxxxxxx
Me and my oh cant try again yet cos we are having test as this was my 4th m.c one is cumin up 2years ago in dec and the others were last year... i still cry myself to sleep every night over charlie as he was the only one i got to meet and hold in my arms....the pain is so unbarable at times.
Me and my oh are having some really bad patches aswell at the minute as i think he doensnt no how to cope with it either and all he wants to do is go out with the lads everynight which isnt helpin me sittin alone dwelling on the situation but he doenst want to no or care about that.
I just feel stuck in a situation i can never get out of i feel.
sorry for bablin on
natalie x
Hope things get better for you soon hun xxxxxx