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trying to be + but PMA dropping - any tips?
Hi
thought I was doing ok but maybe now I'm physically doing well my emotions have caught up (4 weeks since ectopic and op) tryed to be positive but PMA has taken a bashing ;
got letter from hospital stating my pregnancy in my right tube was confirmed as ectopic- think it was the fact it was stated in black and white
tryed to book holiday - was planning Mexico as a special treat!
thought period had started - 2 days bleeding at weekend and now nothing
thought could go back to work - Occ Health disagree - feel even more 'useless'
Last night had a good cry, then resorted to sitting under duvet with wine and choc's watching friends
I know people are going through far worse than this so debated whether to write but thought best place to write, if that makes sense
any tips to restart PMA?
thanks
Daisyx
thought I was doing ok but maybe now I'm physically doing well my emotions have caught up (4 weeks since ectopic and op) tryed to be positive but PMA has taken a bashing ;
got letter from hospital stating my pregnancy in my right tube was confirmed as ectopic- think it was the fact it was stated in black and white
tryed to book holiday - was planning Mexico as a special treat!
thought period had started - 2 days bleeding at weekend and now nothing
thought could go back to work - Occ Health disagree - feel even more 'useless'
Last night had a good cry, then resorted to sitting under duvet with wine and choc's watching friends
I know people are going through far worse than this so debated whether to write but thought best place to write, if that makes sense
any tips to restart PMA?
thanks
Daisyx
0
Replies
You knew pg was ectopic, and now its in writing you can start getting on with things rather than waiting for this letter to come.
Mexico is a bugger and I dont really know how to put a positive spin on that, although there are plenty of lovely places you could go for a one in a lifetime holiday. At least you havent already booked and found you cant go! (sorry, couldnt think of anything else, I know thats a crap positive, although my best friend was booked and paid to go in 9 weeks time and has been told its unlikely! and she has no insurance!)
It will take time for af to get back to normal as your body has been through a big trauma, although 2 days bleeding could have been your af, just not back to normal totally yet.
The going back to work thing I can sympathise with. I feel fine, apart from the bleeding, which has now all but stopped, but I have been signed off for the whole of the week (a long time in teacher time!) and I feel so useless. (I forced myself back 2 days after my mc, against everyones advice but my mc was complete and over in 5 days so I was 'lucky'!)
I dont know if I have helped AT ALL! Just wanted to remind you that, while its difficult at the moment, try to look on the bright side! (That sounds really insensitive - its not meant to!)
A good cry is good for you...helps get rid of all the pent up unhappiness. I always feel better after a good cry.
Hope you are feeling better soon. Dont try and force yourself to get over this...you have been through a very traumatic experience and need time to get over it.
Lots of love hunny xxx
Just wanted to say thanks for the message, have given myself a talking too and feeling more positive - the sun helps! will book another holiday as think its good to have something else to focus on, but good news is that I can start back at work shortly albeit part time initially - must be hard as a teacher when not feeling 100%!
I wish you lots of luck for the next few months
daisyx
I wish there was a pill you could take to give us PMA! I am struggling with mine at present so not too full of ideas! Surounding yourself with positive people certinaly helps. And planning other things in your life to look forward to to take the pressure off. It is great you enjoy your work as that can help you move forward too.
Sadly I think some of it is just time to heal and move on from the rawness of grieving.
If all esle fails, I too resort to the wine and food, it tends to help in the short term!
Enjoy the holiday where ever you decide to go!
Lilou xx
I dont think i've had a 'bad day' (a day where all i think about is our baby & what my bump would be like etc.) for about 2 weeks now and that's the longest so far.
If you feel that you need to cry then do, it's better out than in. My DH has walked in on me crying & talking to myself about the baby...it does wierd things to you - beleive me.
But i promise you will feel better soon & you will find some PMA deep inside you.
Lisa x
Hi hun, just wanted to say dont beat yourself up for not being ok. you're allowed to feel crappy sometimes my ectopic was in january and im finding it has hit me all over again i think its because i tried to just carry on as normal and not think about. my advice would be talk to anyone that will listen and say actually i feel like sh*t! have you been on the ectopic pregnancy trust website forum? they are really good on there especially if you have any questions or worries. xx
Sorry to hear your experience Hannah, thank for info re ectopic trust, have looked at QandA sheet but not gone into it too much - I'm scared I'll read statistics and info that will freak me out, tho will look when feeling braver - went back to work yesterday - 4 weeks post op, only mornings but maybe a tadge too early, was desperate to go, I think I wanted to 'speed up' getting back to normal, then a colleague kept talking about creating adhesions if I did too much - sat very still for the rest of the day!
How are you getting on?
Daisyx