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miscarried at 6 weeks.

Just wanted to say I've read through all these posts and its some how comforting knowing that we're all coping/not coping together. I don't feel like I can tell anyone this stuff at the mo, which is worrying enough as you're 'supposed' to talk about everything....

I miscarried on 16th December, and was obviously very upset. a week later it felt like a dream - like I'd never really been pregnant at all as I'd only knownfor a week and a half that I was pregant.

So I had lots of tears off and on. My husband has been brilliant throughout the whole thing but know he stopped asking me how I feel like enough time has past and so I should be over it by now.

We recently talked about when we're going to try again, he's suddenly saying that it isn't the right time! that we can't afford it and that we still need to work at our careers.... WHAT!!?!? just makes me feel like crap that he never wanted it in the first place. maybe he's just grieving aswell and I'm just being too selfish to think about what he's going through?

I feel stupid even calling it grieving - like I said I was only 6 weeks so it was so small - does it even count?! compared to what other people have gone through later in pregnancy i feel like an imposter here.

I thought I was over it- even went back to work the very next day and life is back to normal - hidden all the baby books we rushed out to buy - its been about a month, but I've started feeling like I could burst into tears at any moment again - really wasn't expecting that.

Now I feel in a kind of limbo cos I don't know what to do. Everything has been kinda strained between me and my husband this week, and I'm trying so hard not to feel cold towards him for him wanting to wait til we start trying. I really miss that feeling in my tummy and the smile I got every time I thought about it.

The dr said as it was so early to treat it as a period and start trying as soon as we want. we had a drunken night over xmas when I was thinking I probably wouldn't be ovulating yet anyway.... but am back to that whole wondering if I could be pregnant again and how do you cope with that!? I'd be so scared if I lost it again. but thats just a what if. GOD!! I feel so helpless and screwed up!!!!!!

Sorry, just needed abit of a rant! has anyone got any words of wisdom or going through anything similar?

xxxx

Replies

  • I feel for you and don't feel bad for being in here.

    I know that you say it was only 6 weeks but from the second the two blue lines appear it's a baby and you dream so much about the future even if it is only for a short time.

    I think that your husband is probably as sad as you but dealing with it differently and by saying you can't try again yet is is his way of dealing with the fear of it happeneing again.

    I had my MC on Dec 21st at 7 weeks so much different to you but still feel the pain.

    It will get better and you will both be ok and I'm sure that he did want the baby too so don't think that....just try and keep talking .......

    You are more than welcome on here and the girls on here have been real stars in supporting me xxxx
  • When i lost my babies at 10 weeks i knew people were thinking - oh its sad but its not like it was anything - they were so young.

    OMG - how wrong can you be - its not necessarily what you had its the expectation of what it was all going to be - what you had planned what you wanted so badly.

    You have every right to grieve for as long as you need there is also support from the miscarriage association which you should have been given the info for when you mc. YOur dr sounds terrible - i hope they never have to go through what you are now.

    our hospital has a hearts ease garden so i have a plaque in it just to remember my two little stars and i still cry almost everyday but amongst the tears is a new me who is stronger who is starting again and who is determined that after 3 failed pgs the next one is mine and 2009 will be my year - it will be yours too.

    If you need to talk rant or rave - put it all down and we will help in any way we can.

    Thinking of you

    Sarah x x x
  • Im sorry to hear your sad news. I had two mcs last year both at around six weeks and it took me a while to get over.

    Even at that early stage you plan for the future and the due date is etched on your mind. Its completely normal to feel the way you do.

    When you fall pregnant again, it may be that you are very anxious but that will pass when you get further along hopefully.

    Its a cliche but the best healer is time. Over a period of weeks I found myself feeling less tearful and although you never forget, the emotional pain eases.

    Rest lots and lot and take care xxx
  • thanks so much, it really means a lot to me to hear all these kind words from strangers- I didn't expect it to make me feel better but it does! Its so nice to be able to get a bit of support when you really need it.
    Its wierd isn't it - you think you're really isolated in what you're going through- I guess cos we never told tons of people - its like this massive secret - and its comforting to know I'm not alone.

    Thankyou again, I really really really wish you the best of luck xxxx
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