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Silent miscarriage
Hia
I was 12 weeks pregnant and started bleeding this time last week. It was really light so I didn't think much of it but when I had a scan last wednesday I was told my baby had died at 9 weeks. I was devastated. I have just recovered from serious depression and discovering I was pregnant was like finding a light at the end of a tunnel. This was going to be a new year with a fantastic new start!! I decided to miscarry naturally and on Thursday I was admitted to hospital with bad contractions. They gave me lots of painkillers and on Friday morning the baby was born. It was about 7cm long and it was so upsetting to actually see the baby. My hubbie and I decided to have our baby cremated. Today is my first day on my own as my hubbie has now had to return to work. I'm finding it so hard without him here. I just don't know how to get on with life without my baby. Everywhere I go there are reminders of the plans we had made.
Has anybody got some advice on how to cope with these feelings?
Thanks
I was 12 weeks pregnant and started bleeding this time last week. It was really light so I didn't think much of it but when I had a scan last wednesday I was told my baby had died at 9 weeks. I was devastated. I have just recovered from serious depression and discovering I was pregnant was like finding a light at the end of a tunnel. This was going to be a new year with a fantastic new start!! I decided to miscarry naturally and on Thursday I was admitted to hospital with bad contractions. They gave me lots of painkillers and on Friday morning the baby was born. It was about 7cm long and it was so upsetting to actually see the baby. My hubbie and I decided to have our baby cremated. Today is my first day on my own as my hubbie has now had to return to work. I'm finding it so hard without him here. I just don't know how to get on with life without my baby. Everywhere I go there are reminders of the plans we had made.
Has anybody got some advice on how to cope with these feelings?
Thanks
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Replies
Nothing any of us will say will make you feel better as all our experiences are different, i felt very angry that my baby had been snatched away from me by a car accident and found myself going from angry to just so sad for the baby i'd lost.
It is a cliche but time is a healer you wont 4get the baby you've lossed but u will hopefully be able to feel better.
As hard as it is and i know this myself don't let yourself slip back into a depression your baby wouldn't want this for you, talk to ur hubby and family and got to the doc for help.
Take time to heal and feel better, we are all here if you need to talk.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
There will be alot of ladys on here that have gone through the same thing myself included, I went for my 12wk scan last june to be told my baby had died at 8.3wks i was heart broken and still am.
I also suffer from depression and am at the moment been treated for it.
This web site has been a god send its a great place to get support and talk over everything your feeling its really helped me even when I some times felt like the only person in the world to feel this way some one on here had a kind word to say even if they themselfs where or had gone through the same thing.
I hope you are able to keep talking i think i can safely say we are all here for you, and even your OH.
Other than talking, resting, crying and taking one day at a time you could find things like making a memory box really helpful, I was able to back to the hospital and get a scan picture, even though it was of my baby after it had died its really helped to have some "proof" to show the world, weve put other bits in as well., we also bought a rose and planted it with some forgetmenots.
Dont know if it helps,
Send huggs
Vikki x
I have bought a special ring with a poem inside as a memory of our baby. I don't know if this sounds strange but I have also started writing letters to the baby telling him or her how I'm feeling. It really helps to get all my thoughts written down on paper.
Unfortunately I didn't get a scan picture and the midwife didn't even show me the scan but my hubbie saw it and so at least one of us did!!
I'm meeting a friend for coffee tomorrow so that will be good to have a nice chat.
xxxxxxxxxx
I'm so sorry for your loss. Nothing anyone can say to you will take your pain away but I hope that our words of support can help.
3 years ago I had a MC, baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks but I didn't find out until 10 weeks when I had a natural MC. I didn't see the baby & the hospital told me there were no whole foetal remains so nothing was there to be cremated. I actually now work in a crematorium & we have a babies remembrance garden where I go & sit sometimes just for peace & reflection.
At the time of my MC I thought my world had ended even though it was an unexpected pregnancy & in hindsight the best thing that could have happened because at the time neither myself or the baby's Dad would have made good parents but it still ached.
Your family and close friends will be a great comfort to you & I really hope that your depression lifts & you see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Continue doing what your doing with the letters if it is making you feel better, you need to do what helps you irregardless of what you think others may think.
Good luck & take care,
Lauren xx