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Just lost baby at 12 weeks

Hi Everyone

Just found out that I lost my baby at 8 week, had my 12 weeks scan,today feel very upset and lost in emtions today??? Just have to wait for my body to fully miscarry, any advice this was my first pg??


  • So sorry to hear that. I went through the same thing six weeks ago (although I opted for an ERPC) and it was just the most awful time.

    The only advice I have is to look after yourself and spend lots of time talking with your partner. Don't feel like you suddenly have to 'get over it' - take as much time as you need.

    Things will get better with time, but it will probably feel like you're sometimes taking two steps forward and one back. I couldn't stop crying for a lot of the first week after it happened, but getting on with other things and doing nice stuff like walking in the park on a sunny day helped get me back on a more even keel. I still sometimes get upset when I think about it, but we've started trying again now and I feel a lot more positive.
  • Hi
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I know exactly what you're going through though as the same happened to me. I was 13 weeks, went for the scan and was told that baby had died at nine weeks. It was so agonising as I had been worried before the scan(naturally) and had read that these things happen but nothing can prepare you for this news. I hadn't expected to be told this as I hadn't had any pain or bleeding throughout. It came as such a shock. Like you this was my first pregnancy and I decided to go down the medical management route as they told me at the hospital that my body wasn't showing any signs of miscarrying naturally.
    You just need to take things easy, rest and talk it all through with your other half. I tried to accept that this one just wasn't meant to be and wouldn't have been "healthy" which is why my body decided to let it go. If you want to know anything at all, please ask as I am happy to share my experience with you. Take care. xxx
  • oh hun i'm so sorry to hear that.

    i had something similar - i was told my baby had died at 6 weeks. i wouldn't have found out until my 12 week scan but i had paid for private one at 10 weeks.

    it was my first baby as well. i chose to have the ERPC as i wanted it over with asap so i could heal and try to move on. i promise you it gets easier with time although you will never forget.

    we're all here for you - hope you have lots of support. i got a bit frustrated at time as hubby didn't think of it in the same way as me but speaking to people on here really helped.

    big hugs hun, take care. xxx
  • Hi mand69,

    I've just seen your news on here and on Jan forum - I was on the Jan forum too and I have had the exact same happen to me.

    I had on 12 week scan on the 3rd July and found out my baby only made it to 8 weeks and 2 days.

    I also opted to have an ERPC - little op. I've got a post on here 'scan no good' or something like that it explains my whole experience if you want to know.

    You will soon start to feel better, it's only been two weeks and I'm fully healed and ready to start again!

    Take care

  • hi mandy 69,

    I also lost my baby 6 weeks ago, and it is an awful thing to happen to any women. However after you have grieved things become positive again, and you realise that you can ttc again. I am having my first period at present, and ttc as soon as poss. good luck and big hugs xxx
  • Aw you poor thing. You must be completely devistated and lost right now. I miscarried a couple of weeks ago. It was also my first. There are plenty on here who have been through it and I have got a lot of support from the girls on here. Hope you are ok xx
  • thanks everyone, for your advice, hope things get a little better, very sad when you boby still thinks it is pg!!! was uspet last nite in the bath a looked down a saw boobs and round tum :\( but hope things improve soon xx
  • So sorry hun. I was in the Jan forum and our bean died at 8 weeks as well. I had a bit of spotting so went for a private scan which confirmed it.
    I opted for erpc but ended up mcing naturally the night before I was meant to be having it.

    It's been just over 5 weeks now and it does get easier with time. I still have good days and bad days but I can actually get through most days without crying now. At one point I thought that was going to be impossible.

    Allow yourself time to recover - both physically and emotionally. It's a lot to go through.

    Big hugs. xxx
  • Hi Mand69

    I have just been through the exact same thing as you this week although I was only 11 weeks with my first pregnancy and because I had some brownish discharge over the w.end the GP booked me in for a scan on Tuesday - they told me the exact thing as you. baby only measured 6 weeks so had to go for another scan on Tuesday to make sure it's a mc. Have started bleeding heavily yesterday and feel like poo but am taking as many positive things from it as I can like the fact that I can get preg which luckily didn't take us that long (4 mths).

    Hoping that the bleeding won't last too much longer as it's making me feel light headed but we're keeping strong and getting loads of family support. It's a very scary time though which I hope will pass quickly.

    Hope you are coping ok too.

  • this happened to me also, i was 12 weeks i tuaght and baby had died at 8 and 6.. felt awful.... i still do. i have had 3 m/c this year and my i feel worse since having the dnc than passing hte 2 on my own

    i hop eyou feel better sooon it gets easier... you will als have an anagel watching over youxxxx
  • Thansk everyone again, sending lots baby dust and loving to you all xxx
  • Hi Mand69

    I have been through similar thing 3 weeks ago. We had a 12 week scan and all was well, heartbeat and wriggly little one. Then at my 16 week check no heartbeat found so went for an emergency scan to find our little one had died (could of been any time between 12 and 16 weeks), But same as you had been a missed miscarriage. Can completely empathise with you it is very hard when your body is still telling you that you are pregnant.

    This was my first also, and I chose medical management, took a pill on the day we found out then went back 2 days later to have pessarys and induce the miscarriage. Stayed at hospital until everything had passed (about 8 hours) I found it helpful to have the midwife there for support instead of being at home scared/worried about what is normal.

    Take time to recover, it is such a huge thing to go through both physically and emotionally. My bleeding has finally stopped (touch wood) so now just to wait for my cycles to come back and hopefully regulate and look at trying again. Just know that you are not on your own xxx

  • just realised this is an old bumped post?!

  • Hi honey,

    I posted on here 10 days ago when i went for my 12 week scan and was told the baby died at 8 weeks. I had a d & c yesterday. i am so sorry for you it truly is a deep and dull pain and the lowest i have ever felt. i am trying to stay positive and hold onto what everyone keeps saying- that this kind of miscarriage can happen to anyone, we can try again and have very good odds of having that longed for baby. it is so important to go with how you feel as crying through it now will help you so much, get it all out. When you have passed the baby perhaps treat yourself a massage, i am as i feel i have to re balance my body and learn to like my it again after all I've been through physically and also feeling like my body lied to me! I really am thinking of you and im on that journey of recovery with you.
  • Hiya fairysare. I went for my scan on 9th August I was 12 weeks but they said my baby died at 7 weeks. It was the most painful thing I have ever heard. I had already bought baby things as I was so excited. I'd already called her Lillia. I have a boy and a girl already and got there sex right both times. I thing the tears I've cried have made no difference. They said I have to wait a week so I'm back in on Thursday for a repeate scan. I'd seen a heartbeat at 6 weeks as they thought it might of been ectopic. So a week after that she passed :'(. I'm in a dilemma what to do. I have scar tissue inside me I've had previous surgery on a ovarian cyst and had 2 c-sections so I'm unsure weather to do d&c. I just don't think tablets will be bare able. The emotional pain makes the physical pain so much worse and to see my little one in that manner would kill me. What should I doimage xx
  • Oh Lillia13,

    What a terrible terrible time you have had. im so sorry for your loss and what you have to face now. Do you have a kind midwife or doctor you can phone to discuss your options? Otherwise you could call the miscarriage association for some advice on your specific situation? I haven't called them myself but i have hear they

    are very supportive. I believe the d & c was the best option for me as you dont see anything traumatic and the recovery physically has just been some period pain like cramps and some light spotting, the transition from being pregnant to not has been almost unbearably painful though. all i can say it try and stay with your feelings whatever they are as they are all important and they all honour how special Lillia is in your heart. don't be strong when you don't have to be, thinking of you and sending you warm thoughts. xxxxx
  • Dear fairysare

    Thank you for your kind words they mean alot to me in this difficult time. The scan is tomorrow and I think that I will probably choose d&c option. I will defo contact support group as its been really hard to talk to anyone I know. I kind of put on a brave face. I already have two older children who I have to be strong for so can't really express my feelings to anybody. I hope you are recovering from this and feeling ok. It's nice to know people understand how your feeling. But at same time devastating reading these stories from people. I wish you well and thankyou once again.

    Much love xxxx
  • Fairysare

    The hardest part at scan was to be told I had to wait around for a second scan as it was legislation they already told me she had died and no hearbeat was detected and she had hardly grown. For them to talk about her in such a political way hurt me. This is a life that's been taken and they use te word legislation. I don't want to let her go but I know waiting naturally or taking tablets will be traumatic. I'm already spotting with cramps and it is just a reminder I no longer have my baby. I'm heartbroken but once again I thankyou for your words that are much needed at this time

  • That sounds so awful honey i have been quite baffled by the hospital staff at times...2 days after the d & c the midwife called me to ask why i hadn't booked my 16 week scan, then i had the dame call from a different midwife the following day, both calls were like a bullet to th heart.

    Today has been a tough one for me, been crying at random are you feeling today? Xxxx
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