silent m/c - what to expect?

jobby-66505 · Jun 20, 2008 11:49AM

Hi, my first post
had a 12 wk scan last tues & thye said my baby stopped growing @ 9 wks (I expected to be 12/13 wks @ that point), so I've already been carrying my dead baby for 3/4 wks. wanted to go home & be left alone to miscarry in private, but I'm worried as I have only quite light beeding and no real pain. I am losing small clots & the blood is dark, but I don't know when 'it' is going to happen & what to expect. Don't get me wrong, I've read hundreds of posts on this & similar forums. But I'm thinking, is this how it will be...gradual & light, or am I in for a big shock @ some point soon?
I didn't (and still don't) want any intervention, but it does kind of feel like waiting for the hammer to fall, you know? It's been a week since my scan, so I've been bleeding lightly for about a week and a half total. I have another scan on Friday, and whilst I would like to know where I am & when it might end, I'm afraid they will try to push me into medical intervention when I go there.
and all the time, whilst I'm trying to make out it's all ok, it's taking it's toll mentally & it's really painful to hold it in. Am i torturing myself by trying to do it by myself @ home? I just can't get to grips with the whole idea of doing it in front of people & being prodded & poked. I ended up with a real messy emergency C section when I had my little boy (having planned a home birth), and it really messed me up psycologically for a long time (lots to do with body letting me down / not being in control & all those silly things). I don't want to hand myself & my baby over to somebody who really doesn't care.

What's in store for me? I'm really quite frightened
x

Anne28 · Jun 17, 2008 7:19PM

I have tried to reply to you several times hun, but for some reason it wont let me! please feel free to email me and I will try and help x

Baby_B · Jun 18, 2008 3:12AM

I very recently went through exactly the same and I was really upset that no one told me what to expect which meant when it did happen I was quite traumatised and didn't know if it was normal.
I would prefer to reply to your post by email as I don't want to post it all here in case others don't want to read details about natural mc. Drop me an email and I will reply.

Big hugs hun. I know exactly how you are feeling right now.
xx

Baby_B · Jun 18, 2008 5:01AM

Have emailed you hun (warning - it's v v long!) Hope it helps.
xxx

jobby-66505 · Jun 18, 2008 5:44AM

thanks baby b
I have your email, and it will help, I'm sure.

I see it's not over yet - I have much to come. But I feel better prepared now.

thanks & take care

jobby

marie08 · Jun 18, 2008 8:53AM

your stronger than i was!!! i decided to go for d&c. good luck with everything thinkin of u.xx

maisiepops · Jun 20, 2008 5:29AM

thinking of you just now - I had a mc at 12wk+ in feb andlike you decided to go home and deal with it myself - in hindsight i wish i had a d+c as it was a long process and feel my monthlies are still upset. Please do what is right foryou but don't thin you are being weak by accepting intervention. Good luck and take care of yourself - here anytime xxx

jobby-66505 · Jun 20, 2008 8:04AM

thanks for your advice everyone.

following today's scan I am still on the managed miscariage route (baby & sac still intact so I haven't made much headway yet!).

I know i could still end up with medical or d&c and if it comes to a point where that's my most sensible option, I will go for it. I just want to see if i can get through myself first (control freak, i know).

i've a max of another 2 weeks before that'll become necessary.

so for now, I'm gonna crack on & see what comes

you've all been kind and i'm really grateful for that.

xx

xannmariex · Jun 20, 2008 11:32AM

hello joggy , wel a went throw the same as you with my 1st miscarriage my babies were dead inside me 4 nearly 6 weeks , i went 4 my 11 week scan b-cz ov some brown blood and was told my twins died at 7 n hlf weeks was toltallt devasting , i blee lightly after that 4 2 weeks and after that me babies finally miscarried am goin to be honest with you , u r in for a bit ov a shock there will be a great loss ov blood and clots but i dnt really no b-cz every 1 is differnt .!! hope this helps x

mrskeen · Jun 20, 2008 11:49AM

I've just been through the same as you, I opted for EVAC or d&c as I personally felt that it was the best option for me. The support I got from doctors, nurses and the hospital chaplin was fantasic, not to mention the support from other ladies on the ward.
DO what is best for you sweetheart, but remember there will always be someone to support you what ever decison you decide

-x-

silent m/c - what to expect?

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