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Cant sleep
Hello All, I had a mc 2 weeks ago now. Worst time of my life so far....
I have come to terms with it now...i.e. I can actually admit to having a mc (just saying the words was terribly distressing). I have been through every emotion possible, sadness, jealousy over other women, hating mother nature, failure, embarressment, disappointment.
Now - I am back at work, feeling very low and depressed, still working out how many weeks i would have been...should have been!
To top it all, i just do not sleep, i lie awake everynight just thinking!!, (even though I have popped a Boot's sleeping pill). I just think about it all the time. I am so knackered it is unbelievable, which makes me teary and emotional.
What can I do to sleep??
xxx:\?
I have come to terms with it now...i.e. I can actually admit to having a mc (just saying the words was terribly distressing). I have been through every emotion possible, sadness, jealousy over other women, hating mother nature, failure, embarressment, disappointment.
Now - I am back at work, feeling very low and depressed, still working out how many weeks i would have been...should have been!
To top it all, i just do not sleep, i lie awake everynight just thinking!!, (even though I have popped a Boot's sleeping pill). I just think about it all the time. I am so knackered it is unbelievable, which makes me teary and emotional.
What can I do to sleep??
xxx:\?
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Replies
Perhaps you are feeling low again being back at work and back to "reality" only your reality has changed since you were there before. Try not to count your weeks anymore if you can. Give yourself something else to focus on instead. You still have the excitement you felt when you first found out you were pregnant. Think of the beauty in that, or something else that is pleasant in your life.
Maybe you need to talk about things a bit more. 2 weeks is still relatively fresh. Im finding it easier by talking about it more and more. Mostly I have been only talking by writing on here or by emailing my friends but this weekend I'm looking forward to going out with friends for a birthday. It will be the first time I get out of the house except for doctors or hospital appointments. Everyone is different but I'm trying to tell people on my terms in advance (even if by email) so that I shield myself from someone putting their foot in it when they see me and me bursting into tears in front of them.
Here to listen if you need to rant.
xx
It is very early days you are right. But I am very scared of telling people bcos I feel such a failure. I know I need to tell people....but I feel ashamed, I cant explain why though.
I have tried focusing on 'trying again' and this really helps lift my spirits but then I get all depressed again bcos I think back to how happy I was a few weeks ago. I just need to snap out of it but I think it will take time.
I have told my 2 best friends and they are taking me out this sat for dinner and lots of wine....so hopefully there will be lots of laughter this weekend!
I had my mc naturally (no D&C), which I am happy about as I didnt want to go through that procedure, eventhough I know it is a very simple procedure. But bcos I chose to do it naturally I have been back and forward to the Hospital for scans.....which has not helped me move on. I will not need a scan now for a while (until after my af). I have one tiny piece still left inside me but they reckon my body will release it when my af comes or the body will reabsorb it. I think this hasnt helped knowing that I still have something left there, eventhough its only 8mm x 8mm x 9mm!! I know this sounds silly....you shouldnt have offered to hear me rant!! ha!
I have read on here that it is safe to try again straight away....so I rang the miscarriage association and they confirmed that physically there is no reason why you cant try straight away, even if you havent had a period yet. Mentally obviously it is up to me. Do you think it sounds terrible to say that the only way I will be able to get over this is to be pregnant again?
x
It is comforting to know that I am not alone with the way I am feeling and my actions.
I send my love to all the women reading this xxx I truely can say I know what you are going through and wld never wish this on my worst enemy! xxx
I had an ectopic, with surgery to remove the tube 2 weeks and 2 days ago. I identify with every single thing you say.
Today I feel so tired as I had next to no sleep last night (just couldn't stop thinking) and I feel down too, which I'm sure is not helped by the tiredness
My H2B and I are supposed to be going to a party on Saturday. I can't decide whether to go or not and I'm not sure whether to drink. I am scared to see everyone to be honest
xx
I know what you mean re saturday....my sister in law invited me and hubby to their house a week after i had mc. We went and all night i had to look at them beaming over their 6mth old baby boy. But bcos I wasnt ready to tell anyone....i had to put on the biggest front! nearly killed me.
I have told them now and they have been so much support - i shld have told them from the beginning.
Good luck on Sat - just enjoy yourself and take your mind off of it!
xxx
Go out with your girlfriends on Sat and have a really good time, have a drink, you deserve it. We all do after what we've been through. I'm going to. And make mine a champagne, I think I might even have a quiet toast to the little angel I have lost in hope they are doing ok watching down on us.
Absolutely no way at all does it sound terrible to want to be pregnant again to help us move on. A lot of us do, me included. We will never forget the little ones we have all lost but anything is good if it helps us to move on in a more positive light.
Kimmy - you should go and enjoy yourself on Sat at the party too. If there are people there that may ask you about anything baby related then try to tell them in advance if you feel you can. You shouldn't need to have to put a front on in front of anyone. If people know they will be sensitive to how you are feeling and they won't put their foot in it and reduce you to tears. Your friends all care about you afterall.
Beegeez, I'm even going bowling on Sat night!! Now that I've told most of my friends on email I feel ready to see them all as I'm no longer carrying so much weight on my shoulders now that I've shared my pain with them. Of course none of them know what to say (and I pre-warned them of what I DID NOT want to hear .... happens for a reason, always next time etc etc) but just knowing they understand how I'm feeling has really helped.
Would you want to know and be there for your friends if the tables were turned?
xx
Now tell me how did your weekends go. Did you both have a good time out with your mates? I was true to my word and went bowling and drank (lots) of champagne (the 2 dont quite go hand in hand but anyway....) and I feel like the weight of the world has lifted from my shoulders. I hope you both had a nice weekend.
xx
Glad your weekend went well. I decided to go out and have a couple of drinks, and they went down quite well! OH drove so I knew I could go home if I needed to. Saw a few of my friends who were lovely, so I would say my weekend was a success!
xx
xx
Had a lovely night at a friends for dinner and then followed by drinks in a salsa bar....really left me feeling myself and much more positive!
I am feeling much better this week......just looking forward and not dwelling on things.
(I did write alot more before but cant remember what i wrote!!)
xxx
Well girls, it's Friday tomorrow. Hooray! So I hope you have some fun things planned! Im catching up with my mates and going shopping for a fancy dress party next weekend. Plus our mate brought over a late wedding present for us - a magnum of champagne! I think it needs to be drunk! xx:roll:
Seeig my sil for lunch on Sat. Other than that slobbing out!!
Enjoy enjoy xx
My plans for the weekend are sleep, wash car and put it up for sale on net, sleep, hopefully pick up new car, sleep, go to wedding dress shop with mum and try on pretty dresses, sleep, sleep sleep!
xx
My plans for the weekend are sleep, wash car and put it up for sale on net, sleep, hopefully pick up new car, sleep, go to wedding dress shop with mum and try on pretty dresses, sleep, sleep sleep!
xx
I got married on aug 2nd this year....
So basically, the idea and the date are very up in the air, but I know I definitely wat a Maggie dress and a shop near me has a trunk show this weekend so I'm going
What was your wedding like?
This is me and hubby:
removed xx
[Modified by: MrsKittyboo on October 17, 2008 10:38 PM]
[Modified by: MrsKittyboo on November 18, 2008 02:24 PM]
My hubby and I got married 4 Aug but last year. We had our wedding back in Australia on Hamilton Island. It was a perfect day and cost us a bit but we finally recovered and we too would just do it all over again! Our friends still say it was the best wedding they have ever been to s we just had so much fun! (It was a 3 day festival).
So Kimmy, save it up and get married when you're ready. Hope you find a lovely dress. I actually found mine with my mum when I was at home on another trip - it was the second dress I tried on and she had picked it so that was quite special to me.
How do you insert images?
http://www.progalleries.com.au/en/Photo/popupview.asp?LargeURL=http://202.68.162.165/Photo110/186471/60/172975557.jpg&Caption=08047504.jpg
[Modified by: sim75 on October 18, 2008 12:26 PM]
Well you type
Hopefully that should work ha!
I like putting names to faces...so thought I wld post a pic of us on our wedding day! Thank you for your compliment!
xx
[Modified by: MrsKittyboo on October 18, 2008 04:55 PM]