Can I pull up a chair?
Hi all,
Time to introduce myself, I think. I miscarried pregnancy #4 last weekend at 11 weeks - I have a beautiful DD (3 1/2) who was born after two miscarriages, both of which were at approximately 6 weeks, so to have got so much further this time and to lose baby again is heartbreaking.
Still veering between being unable to stop crying and feeling very angry, particularly because the NHS won't investigate, despite the fact that this is our 3rd MC, because I have had DD in between. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful to have her and the knowledge that I can carry to term is a big comfort right now, but I can't help but feel there is a reason this keeps happening to us. I have a strong genetic history of fertility and MC problems in the family, and with DD I took low dose aspirin throughout the pregnancy for a clinical trial, but the doctors are refusing to test for antiphospholipid syndrome, much to our frustration. We just don't know where to go from here - I'm so teirrfied to going through a traumatic MC like this recent one again with all the heartbreak that comes with it, but the thought of never having another baby to love and hold is incomprehensible.
And, as if it wasn't bad enough, it took us 2 1/2 years of trying to get this pregnancy. Again, the NHS won't test for fertility issues now because we have achieved a pregnancy, so it feels like we're back to square one on both counts.
A hand hold through the rollercoaster I suspect we have ahead of us would be very much appreciated.
Hannah xx
Replies
Hello Hannah - am so sorry to hear of your sad loss. My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope you are bieng looked after physically and also being supported by your friends / family. Sending you a huge hug ((( ))).
What you express is totally normal and I feel for you in everything you say. The NHS can be so frustrating and it seems that is how it will be given all the cuts. You mention taking aspirin and wanting to be tested for anti phospolipid syndrome. There can be other reasons why you might clot during pregnancy such as factor v leiden (I have this) which might be worth seeing whether your GP could refer you for some blood tests. I know you have a DD (a treasure no doubt) but I would try when you are feeling stronger to speak with a sympathetic GP about whether you can have some investigations - the time to fall pregnant with this one did seem quite long. One thing to bear in mind however, when I had my recurrent miscarriage testing after my fourth mc, I was told that even after 3 consecutive mcs around 40% of women have no identifiable reason for it......this really surprised me.
It sounds like you need time to grieve and to think about next steps after you are feeling stronger. Keep talking to us here - or over on the ttc after mc forum - they are a friendly bunch there and we all come with different experiences which might help you through this.
Apple x