Miscarriages how do you cope when people rub it in your face

SnowRedhopeful · Feb 25, 2014 12:35AM

Hi all, I don't normally write posts about how I feel, they are normally advice. My story is I have had 3 early miscarriages 2 last yr and the 3rd one a few weeks ago, anyway my partners family have been rubbing there cousin/sister/nieces pregnancy in my face and don't seem to care what nick and I have been through at all, anyway just as I had my 3rd mc she was having her baby and then once again they rubbed it in all over Facebook and Twitter, I have tried talking to them about it to see if anyone of them had gone through it but no one had only his mum had quite a number of abortions that she chose to have as she didn't care, (I personally find that wrong and am against it) she didn't seem to understand at all what I am going through, because of the family rubbing it in my face I have found I have not been able to face them, not being able to see the baby and feeling like there is something wrong with me because i had the mc, even though there is nothing wrong with my insides. My partner is very supportive of me and what has happened but he can only understand so much, I know it takes time to deal with things like this, I just feel like I can't due to the family as everytime I take 4 steps forward I get sent back 3, yet when it is not anyone I'm close to I'm happy as anything for them. I'm at a loss so if there is anyone who has dealt with it or wants to give advice please feel free to drop a post on here. Thank you for listening xx

Samantha :) . · Feb 23, 2014 11:32PM

Aww hunni. I feel for you. I'm not the best communicator so please read this from the fact I am on your side and mean to try to help not upset u further.

What u haven't made clear is your oh's families intentions. Do they mean to rub your face in it or are you finding their natural excitement as insensitive.

If you approach this with them by accusing them or sounding like you are you will be getting their backs up and it makes them less likely to see it from your point.

You can, however, control one thing about this situation and that is how you choose to view things. If you try to stop seeing tge things posted online as rubbing yr face in it and their natural excitement and try to deal with that you WILL feel much better. Because it might hurt you to see it, but to feel the insult on top makes it harder. I am sure one day you will get your baby and then will be doing the same, even though someone on yr friends list has gone through the same hurt as yourself.

Its great that your partner is supportive and hasn't hidden in a cave. Also don't feel a failure, take the time to heal and next time you aee those things CHOOSE to not let it hurt you as you are hurting yourself if you dont. I hope that doesn't sound patronising, I mean well. Hugs xx

SnowRedhopeful · Feb 23, 2014 11:41PM

Thanks darl, it isn't just natural excitement for them, as they are the type of people who deliberately go on about it, I have blocked the photos etc of it all on my end but want I can't control is my partners phone etc, I was starting to get better until this morning when I went backwards, thank you for understanding xx

Samantha :) . · Feb 24, 2014 11:29AM

Oh dear, thats bad of them then. I think you should choose to rise above it then. Its still true that you can choose how your affected by it. Try not to burden your partner with it if u can as he has devided loyalties. Have you got someone of yr own? Family or very good friend u can vent to without it getting back to his family. Xxx

sarahsaddler17 · Feb 24, 2014 12:30PM

Hi huni

i didnt want to read and run, i also felt like this last year i had 2 m/c one in july and one december.

I also felt family and friends where rubbing it in my face, i even thought at the time my partner was not being as suportive as i would have liked.

when i fell inmay my sister in law also fell and our due dates where a week apart, so when she had her baby a few weeks go it was all over facebook, it did hurt but i had to put my pain aside and be pleased for them, i know its hard but i was always happy when i popped on here and saw all the new ladies with the bfp it gave me hope!

My due date was 14th of feb this year for my 1st m/c and to our shock we got a faint bfp on the 17th feb, i think these things happen for a reason.

i even found my own sisters didnt want to talk to me about the m/c it was and still feels like a taboo subject to them, my little sister was very heartless at one stage as said to me she had no problem carrying children! i was so upset and angry but yet again when i saw she put on facebook they were planning number 3 this year i just had to put my own feelings aside and wish her all the best.

it is hard and it does hurt, i have moved away from my own family and i think this is why i felt so alone, but im now putting my energy into my new little belly fruit xxxx

sending you hugs huni and always here for you if you need to chat xx

SnowRedhopeful · Feb 25, 2014 12:35AM

Hi lovelies thank you so much for being understanding, as you know it is hard, I was talking to a Collegue about it as we are quite close, she understood about what's going on, although she did say that some people from the nationality that my oh is do indeed do that as all they want is babies then pass them off to the family and don't care what others are feeling, I am happy for everyone that has had or is having a baby, it's just this one family member. Xoxoxo

Miscarriages how do you cope when people rub it in your face

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