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miscarrage

Hello I had a miscarriage on Dec5 and I haven't told my husband I don't know how, he usually went to my appointments with me but the last two he couldn't go and that's when I found out the baby didn't have a heartbeat, I'm afraid to tell him because this isnt the first one we have had 4 but this is the first one I've made it this far I was almost 6 months . Do if anyone has any advice on how to tell him please help bc I can't hide it no longer it's killing me and our relationship has gotten distance bc I don't want to talk to him about the baby or tell him we not having one 

Replies

  • aww got be B hard maybe sit him down explain to him in sure he comfort u good luck also mc lately xxxx

  • Oh my goodness you poor thing!! Im so sorry for your loss & the pain & anguish you are going through.

    I know another lady who regularly posts on the site that also sadly had a late loss & she was put in touch with a bereavement midwife who was fantastic in providing her with support. Maybe you could speak to your doctor or midwife to see if they can refer you to a bereavement midwife or bereavement counsellor who will be able to help you gain the strength & find the words to tell your husband. 

    Whenever you tell him, this is going to be devastating news... But the longer you leave it, the more devastating this could get... You need to try & be strong & tell him very soon hun. Also, you need his support... Please don't try & do this alone x

  • ty got go bk todays. Confirm bby gone dreading it epau ay never helped. Been cold hearted xxx

  • Sorry to hear this has happened. I know it can feel like you've lost a part of your "womanhood" or that you're letting him down somehow, but DON'T blame yourself or let anyone else blame you for this basically unpreventable situation.

    It would have probably been difficult to talk to him about it regardless of previous miscarriages, so let that help you get the courage up. Are you worried because of the way he responded to the previous MC's? Are you worried he would be very upset or possibly abusive? Don't put yourself in a bad situation, k? If you're worried that he'll react badly towards you or blame you for the condition, perhaps having a medical professional break the news to him (like the doctor you're seeing) would be better. Talk to them about your worries & maybe they can offer more guidance as far as explaining the ins & outs of the MC to him.

    Are you worried about telling him because he'll need to take care of you or your house while you're recovering? If it feels like telling him is going to equate asking him for a favor, you might already have arranged ahead of time for a friend or family member to see after you

  • update baby's gone was expecting it dye low hcg spotting. All way through getting. Better now n hope try again march somtime anyone thing that's early xxx

  • Hello my name is courtney i had a miscarrage at 15+4 weeks i had her on the 2nd of jan this year i found out that there was to much fluid on the back of her neck and it went all in to her lungs and around her heart she also had turner snydrome and they told me she wasnt going to last 😔 its been over a month now since i had her im just wondering why is it taking so long to convince to get pregnant again x 

  • aw my best friend  went through excavt same hope u feel better soon god bless little angel n u really sorry. Hear u went through this. Hard time xxxx

  • Thank you x it was hard but have been trying again but nothing happeing at the moment :( xx 

  • You're able to try as soon as your cycle is normal again basically. Some women can become pregnant again before they've had their next period. I would use your instincts to discern whether it's too soon or not. On the one hand, you want to be sure your past miscarriage is completely over with & all the tissue has been expelled, & yeah..on the other hand it's a hard waiting game! Even though some women can get pregnant the next time around very quickly, I would give your body time to adequately build up a menstrual lining once or twice before it's expected to sustain a pregnancy. Just to be sure that it's sufficient & you don't have a repeat MC. I would also make sure you're emotionally ready & that it's something you want to do. For a month after my miscarriage, I wanted very badly to try again. But about 2 months after, when it set in how hard it all had been, I was fine not trying again yet & taking time to heal, be normal & get ready for anot her pregnancy down the road. Becoming pregnant brings a lot of things into the light- I would take some time to examine those with a clear mind- maybe a month or so after the MC would be a good time to think clearly. But again, you should follow your instincts too! Hope this helps! Good luck!

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