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Stillbirth, miscarriage and TTC hell (long post)

Hi all,

I'm completely new to this site and I'm wondering if anyone can offer any advice. In December 2016 my firstborn (the absolute love of my life) was born sleeping at 41+2 weeks due to medical negligence, it was a horrible time for me. I laid him to rest 5 days before Christmas and by new year my partner had ran off with someone else.

In May of this year after a very close friend offered to be a donor for me (to spare me the ridiculous expense of private IVF), I discovered I was pregnant with my rainbow baby. I was shocked as I had tricked myself into believing I was useless and that I would never have a living baby, I was also shocked as I didn't think AI (artificial insemination) would work.

After a little brown spotting, my suspicions were confirmed...... At a second scan in July I was told "it wasn't good news" and at 9 weeks I began to miscarry. I opted for the natural route as I was scared of infertility due to scar tissue (which I had read was possible after medical intervention). And now.... I'm a mess!

I don't think I've had an AF since and I have no idea what's going on. The "bad news" scan was 18th July, afterwards I had about 5 weeks of brown spotting on and off. My doctor did a pregnancy test two weeks after the scan and it was negative. After the bleeding stopped I had a couple of "normal weeks" but then a week were I spotted brown again (only when I wiped and no need for a sanitary towel). My last episode of spotting was about 2 weeks ago, then over the past couple of days I've had it again but only when I wipe. I've been having lots of EWCM over the last couple of days also, so I thought I was able to begin tracking my cycle again. But it's been tinged with brown blood and last night/today, some red blood (again this is only when I wipe)

Sorry for the long post and TMI, I'm just hoping someone somewhere can offer me some advice. My friend has offered again to help me, but I'm in complete limbo until I can track my cycle. I don't sleep very well, so it's pointless temping and I was tracking my cycle using the Flo app but I can't as I'm not sure if I've had an AF.

My cycles were as regular as clockwork (28 days) after I had my little boy and now, they just seem to be nonexistent.

Anyone been through similar and have any ideas on what to do?

Thanks xxx


  • I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through, that sounds horrible 😞 I can’t speak for the miscarriages however when I came off the pill, I had 2 months of being all over the place, getting EWCM but not ovulating, and on one occasion I did get blood mixed with EWCM making it kind of brown. Anyway the following month everything sort of righted itself, but it was gradual, so perhaps by seeing EWCM it means things are slowly getting back to normal? So frustrating as it’s all a bit of guesswork! Could the doctors help maybe?

  • Hi HappyHappy2019 thank you for replying to my post..... I have been to the doctor's on a few occasions since the mc, and they have finally agreed to send me for a scan on 6th Nov. At first they kept saying that as my pregnancy test came back neg, there was no reason to scan me but my persistence seems to have finally paid off .

    I did think that by seeing EWCM my cycles were hopefully correcting themselves, as I have been tracking my CM since the brown spotting I had a few weeks ago because I originally believed that could have been my first AF after MC. However, the spotting of brown and red blood now has completely thrown me. It's too soon to be another AF (surely?) as my previous bleeding was only approximately two weeks ago..... I'm ever so confused and fed up 

  • I’m not sure I can help in anyway but I just wanted to say how sorry I am ev that has happened. I’m in similar circumstances. I lost my son at 36 weeks plus 4 days in August in what I believe to be medical negligence, we currently have a case going forward and are still waiting for an inquest. I should have been 8 weeks pregnant this week but miscarried at the beginning of the week. looking at the dates I did get pregnant fairly quickly in between but it felt like an eternity waiting for my first period, I also used clear blue ovulation tests every day for what seems like forever and used the flo app like you. If I had gone with just using the flo app and all of the online calculators I would have missed ovulation completely as I ovulated early after the birth of my son, so I believe the ovulation tests do work and we only dtd 3 times the month I got pregnant. Now starting all over again and scared it won’t happen or if it does I will miscarry again. now have the long wait for my first period. I must say this time I’m going to attempt to relax and I’m giving the ovulation tests a miss, I feel like I was on the verge of obsession last time and the doctor that confirmed my miscarriage said not to put too much hope into a pregnancy and that maybe I should just be happy with the 2 children I already have. She was very young and obviously has never lost a child herself, but I kind of get that maybe if I just relax, things might turn out ok. Wishing you so much luck. Xx

  • Hi, thanks for your reply. I perhaps should have updated this for anyone else in a similar situation to me. I did eventually get my doctor to send me for a scan, which confirmed that I hadn't miscarried fully. So four months after having the miscarriage confirmed, I was rushed into theatre as an emergency for an ERPC. This was two weeks ago yesterday, so now I'm just waiting for my period to hopefully start again and I can start ttc asap.

    I completely forgot about my post on here, until I read the email saying my "thread had received a reply". Wishing everyone the best of luck on their TTC journey. Xx 

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