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Having a down day :cry:
Hi ladies,
Sorry i'm going to have a moan AGAIN! Well yesterday was a hard day as some of u may know, I would have had my 12 week scan and my close friend who is due around the same time I would have been also had her scan, and everything with her is fine, which I am pleased about as I would hate to have anyone go through what I and the rest of us have been through! I txt her yesterday morning wishing her luck etc as it's not her fault all this has happened. I said let me know how it goes at the end of the message as didn't want her to think I was being a bitch, but never thought she would actually txt me knowing how hard it is going to be with her baby being fine but me having lost mine. So what does she do??!! Sends me a picture of her scan
I couldn't believe it and it was like a great big slap in the face! I'm sure she didn't mean it in a malicious way, but I would never have done that if it was the other way around! Im so down about it today and all I can picture is her scan just cant stop crying!
Sorry for the rant but I needed to say how I felt to people who understand as to other people I jus sound like a bitch!
Hope you are all coping ok xxxx
Sorry i'm going to have a moan AGAIN! Well yesterday was a hard day as some of u may know, I would have had my 12 week scan and my close friend who is due around the same time I would have been also had her scan, and everything with her is fine, which I am pleased about as I would hate to have anyone go through what I and the rest of us have been through! I txt her yesterday morning wishing her luck etc as it's not her fault all this has happened. I said let me know how it goes at the end of the message as didn't want her to think I was being a bitch, but never thought she would actually txt me knowing how hard it is going to be with her baby being fine but me having lost mine. So what does she do??!! Sends me a picture of her scan
I couldn't believe it and it was like a great big slap in the face! I'm sure she didn't mean it in a malicious way, but I would never have done that if it was the other way around! Im so down about it today and all I can picture is her scan
just cant stop crying!Sorry for the rant but I needed to say how I felt to people who understand as to other people I jus sound like a bitch!
Hope you are all coping ok xxxx
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Replies
Like you I know everyone would think I was a total bitch if I spoke about it, but at least on here we all understand!
xxx
I found out i lost my 2nd baby last week on the day that shouldve been my 20 week scan of the first baby.
I'm feeling mega depressed today, i can't stand the waiting to have to ttc again and since i had a d&c the first time (which led me to lose the 2nd as i wasnt healed enough) i have to wait that bit longer.
Life's a bitch and it seems everywhere i look i see moms and babies and i think "why do they deserve it and i don't"???
We'll get there hun x
The week of my ERPC, my cousin annouced she was pg (I knew she was pg so no shock), the girl had the nerve to phone my mum to tell her about it - somewhat insensitive seeing as her unborn grandchild had just died.
I thought I would be a grown up etc and let this go and text her congrats, no questions, just wishing her well and she text me back gushing all the details. Some people have no f**king idea!!!
Kat; I've hidden her and her sister on my FB too! Don't want to know anything about it!!
Tmrw should have been my 20 wk scan and we would have found out if was boy or girl, making me really sad but just need to get past tmrw to my hol on sunday.
I actually have my worst sad times when I go into town shopping etc as its mums and kids and prams etc everywhere you go. I even saw a heavily pg woman smoking in the street and it massively upset me. Life just isn't fair.
We all understand and are here when you need us, take care xx
I've got an appointment this morning at EPAC to have preg test done and I hope it is negative so I can move on, although if it is negative it's kind of like tha tfinal chapter and a realisation that the pregnancy is over, even though I know it was over a couple of weeks ago, all the while i've been bleeding it hasn't been over emotionally. Anyway thanks ladies, you're all fantastic
Charlotte xxxx
I would never want anyone to go through this but life is so so unfair.
Fingers crossed it happens for us all.
baby dust all around
xx
Take all the time you need hun,
Hugs, MrsH xxx
I tried to reply to this the other day but BE ate my reply and I was at work so didn't get chance again!
I feel exactly the same with my SIL. 4 weeks after my mc she had her baby and obviously OHs family were very excited. We got texts all through the night about how many cm dilated she was etc... and we ended up having a bit of an argument because I thought they were being totally insensitive. I expected the ba text but the whole bloody story was just too much for me and I think insensitive on their behalf. They even text to say when she was getting in the birthing pool ffs!
Someone on here said to you its a baby you lost but to them it was just an announcement and I think that sums it up. They heard about a pregnancy then an mc and they moved on but we live with the loss every day.
OH is going to see her for the first time tomorrow because his family keep ringing and asking when we're going to make the 70mile round trip to see her. I'm not going so they'll probably have something to say about that and tbh I'm getting to the point where I'm going to snap at them. OH has explained the situation but they just don't get it and its so wrong how our situation is considered less importantly than theirs that we're the ones who have to be sensitive to theirs but they don't have to do the same back.
Sorry now I'm on my own rant... just look after yourself and put yourself first. That's my plan anyway. I've sent my well wishes to her but to sit and cuddle her newborn and watch OH with him when he should be a daddy to be, not an uncle, is just too much for me and I'm not prepared to do it to myself! If you feel that you need space from her, take it! They will either understand or not but tbh you need to do it in your own time I think, not in everyone elses time.
Hope you feel better soon hun
Xx
10 months later and I'm 17 weeks pregnant with a much longed for baby. Miscarriage will undoubtedly change your view of pregnancy and this hasn't been a worry free time despite the pregnancy being completely straightforward, so I won't pretend that things will be 'perfect', but I just wanted to reassure you that it does get so much easier and whilst it will always hurt to think of what you lost, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it seems distant.
It will become easier, (despite insensitive friends!) You're doing the right thing by congratulating them (albeit through gritted teeth). I failed to look past a former good friend's insensitivity after her little one was born the month after our mc and we have never made up - soon we'll both have little ones and I'm not sure how we can get the friendship back to enjoy our babies together - remember that despite the wait, there's every chance that you and your friend will be enjoying 'mummy time' together before long x
me to hear of ladies going through/ have been through the same feelings and emotions! I'm sending all those how have lost recently baby dust and hope we all get our much deserved BFP's Soon, and those who are lucky enough to have got them already I wish u all a happy pregnancy.
Thanks again for your support
xxxxxxxxx
[Modified by: CJG1986 on June 13, 2010 09:05 PM]