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Devastated D and C later today
Well it has possibly been the hardest day of my life discovering that the baby inside me had died. After nearly a week of spotting mainly brown discharge, doctors reassuring me that my cervix was closed I finally found out what I knew had happened in the back of my head and I am absolutely devastated, and can't quite believe that this has happened to me.
On the way to the hospital yesterday morning I was suddenly overcome with cramps and I knew it was the worse. Ran to the loo once we arrived to discover that I had started bleeding properly. Up on the ward I was allocated a bed as they could see I was in alot of pain. After nearly two hours of waiting we finally got our scan which I could tell from the corner of my eye was not right. The baby was too small and there was no heartbeat. In fact the baby had died at 8 weeks 4 days (around Christmas). I was led to a room in tears to discuss my options and have decided to have a D and C which is being performed later today. I then had to wait 4 hours to see a doctor and fill in all the forms for the op to be done. Including a form discussing my options for what to do with the remains (extremely distressing). I go in at 7am today and hopefully it should be done this morning and I should be able to come home in the afternoon.
I just cant imagine what the next 6 months are going to be like thinking about how far gone I should be etc. To make matters worse a very close colleague and friend at work is just 1 week behind me so i will have a constant reminder of what I have lost until Aug. Trying to remain hopeful and look to the future but it is very difficult. It took hubby and I 13 months to concieve this baby after being told it would properly never happen naturally. One thing I have learnt from this experience is how special it is to be pregnant and I would not tell anyone again until I was 12 weeks. Telling friends and family has been soul destroying.
When to people start feeling more positive and start trying again?? I am desperate to get pg again but feel like my life has been torn apart. Just want someone to wave their magic wand!
Sandra
xx
On the way to the hospital yesterday morning I was suddenly overcome with cramps and I knew it was the worse. Ran to the loo once we arrived to discover that I had started bleeding properly. Up on the ward I was allocated a bed as they could see I was in alot of pain. After nearly two hours of waiting we finally got our scan which I could tell from the corner of my eye was not right. The baby was too small and there was no heartbeat. In fact the baby had died at 8 weeks 4 days (around Christmas). I was led to a room in tears to discuss my options and have decided to have a D and C which is being performed later today. I then had to wait 4 hours to see a doctor and fill in all the forms for the op to be done. Including a form discussing my options for what to do with the remains (extremely distressing). I go in at 7am today and hopefully it should be done this morning and I should be able to come home in the afternoon.
I just cant imagine what the next 6 months are going to be like thinking about how far gone I should be etc. To make matters worse a very close colleague and friend at work is just 1 week behind me so i will have a constant reminder of what I have lost until Aug. Trying to remain hopeful and look to the future but it is very difficult. It took hubby and I 13 months to concieve this baby after being told it would properly never happen naturally. One thing I have learnt from this experience is how special it is to be pregnant and I would not tell anyone again until I was 12 weeks. Telling friends and family has been soul destroying.
When to people start feeling more positive and start trying again?? I am desperate to get pg again but feel like my life has been torn apart. Just want someone to wave their magic wand!
Sandra
xx
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Replies
I'm really sorry to hear your news. It really is one of the hardest things going through what you have done yesterday.
You should be able to go home home shortly after your D & C, and when you do you will need to rest.
I'm not going to say the next few months will be easy, but things will get easier and talking to people on here will help you, it really helped me when I went through the same thing last year. I would also urge you to talk to your hubby about it.
I personally waited until I had 3 normal cycles after my MC, but I would say you should wait until the time is right for you, you'll know when that is.
Good luck and take care. Once today is over with you can start to look forward.
Hayley xx
[Modified by: *HayleyR* on January 12, 2010 03:44 AM]
[Modified by: *HayleyR* on January 12, 2010 03:44 AM]
I won't lie and say that the next few months will be easy, but I promise that they do get better.
As for when to TTC this really is up to you and hubby to decide when, when I had my mc all I wanted was to get pg again - but that's juts me. Some other people prefer to wait one/few cycles. Just do what's best for you
Thinking of you today and sending you lots of hugs
xxx
I'm really sorry for your loss, I never went through a D&C as I lost my son Ewan at 27 weeks back in September. I just wanted to give my view on trying again. It took us 14 months to fall pg with Ewan and we decided to start ttc straight away. I fell pg again in Dec but lost that one at 5+2, but we are still trying and will continue until we have a living breathing baby in our arms. I just wanted to encourage you to stay positive and let you know that it will get easier. I'll be thinking of you and I hope you get through today and that your OH is looking after you. Big Hugs xxx
Take care and we are always here if you need to have a chat.
Jodie xx
I still have difficulties on some days. Most days are better, but some I am crying and thinking about what should be. It does get slightly easier, but it doesn;t go away.
Take the time you need to grieve, take the time you need to feel sorry for yourself. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel or what to do. We started trying straight away, even before period arrive, but we are now in our second cycle. I am actually quite happy I did not fall pregnant straight away. Although really hope this month is the month. But do what feels right, if you want to try straight away than do it (they say you are more fertile in the 3 cycles after a miscarriage) and don't feel quilty about it. If you feel you need to take some time away from it, no one can tell you that is wrong either.
I just wanted to echo what the other ladies have said. The girls on here were such an tremendous support for me after my erpc in September. We will be here for you whenever you need us.
xxSara
I was waiting for your update yesterday and I am so so sorry.
I have just had an early mc, although have spent the last week visiting the hosp trying to rule out a possible ectopic.
I didn't have to go through a d & c so can't imagine how you feel.
The girls on here have given you some good advice and believe me when I say that they are wonderful, they have helped me no end this past week when to be honest getting up, showered and dressed seemed impossible.
Time will help, things will get easier as the ladies have said, please lean on those around you, whether they are virtual pals like us or your hubs and friends and family. Talking about it really helped me not to feel alone.
My advice would be to take one day at a time and try not to look too far ahead. I have found the past week difficult, looking in the due in forums has been heartbreaking and I have grieved for the scans I will never have with this baby, and that is perfectly normal.
Something else that helped me was to think about what I have in my life that I am thankful for (this probably feels too hard at the moment) and the list was long and that was a comfort.
One of my friends is also pregnant and although I am over the moon for her, it is just to raw at the moment, I want to see her and celebrate with her and be excited but I just can't, in time I know I will and she understands that.
The hardest thing is knowing when you are ready to go back to work etc... I found this difficult as physically I wasn't in pain etc... and I felt guilty at being off, however I know it was the right thing to do, I needed to take some time out, sit on the sofa, take comfort on here and cry with hubs when I needed too.
Take small steps hun, I think you are so, so brave, we are all thinking of you today.
Love MrsH xxx
I can't lie and say the next few months will be easy, but you will get through them. You will never forget your little one but you learn to look to the future. As for when to ttc again, that is really down to how you both feel, physically and emotionally but allow yourself time to grieve.
We are all here if or when you need us
((((hugs))))) xx
Im so sorry sweetheart.
Again can only really echo what the girls have said.
We've sufferd 4 mc in the last 13 months & I promise even though it's not easy you find the strength from somewere to carry on.
Give yourself the time you need to greive & you'll know when your both feeling ready to try again.
In the meantime the girls here are wonderfully supportive so please lean on us when you need to.
Hugs & Love xxxx
Im so sorry to hear of your loss. It really is an awful thing to go through, but I promise that with time things do get easier.
I lost our baby 7 weeks ago when I was 17 weeks pregnant and at the time I felt like you do. I honestly never thought I would be able to get through it - but you do. you need to give yourself time so you can grieve and not have to put "a brave face on". you need to take things at your own pace.
7 weeks on im feeling loads better than I did, I still think about what happened and where I would be now - but its not as upsetting as it first was.
Im now looking forward to the future and getting excited about being pregnant again (when it happens)
I hope your home and resting now and have loved ones to support you,
dont forget hun, we're all here for you as well.
lots of hugs
pb
x x
so sorry for your loss.
I had a mmc at 12 wks in Nov.
Things do get better slowly, but give yourself time to grieve. It also takes a while for hormones to settle down so the first few weeks are very emotional.
The lovely ladies on here are very supportive and have been a great help to me.
Sending you (((hugs)))
nettie x
Pleased you have support of your lovely hubs.
Take each day as it comes hun, there will be ok days and days when facing the world seems impossible.
Good luck with ttc in the near future xxxx
Thank you for your msg of support in my thread, I've taken comfort in what you have said.
It's such an awful thing to go thorugh. Hopefully now you can start to get over it and try in some way to move on. Nothing will replace the loss you've had but good luck with TTC. My HB and I feel we'd like to try asap too, fingers crossed for quick BFP's
xxx