Can't handle the ttc forum

rocky_kiz · Nov 15, 2009 3:33PM

ARGH! i couldn't handle the forum when i first joinded BE after my mmc but last month i popped in a bit over there and was fine but for some reason this month i can't handle it again! Someone has got a lovely ticker and then another one which says how big their bean is and what part is growing and i almost started bawling my eyes out!!! She's only about 5 weeks! and all i could think about is how everyone in there (that hasn't been in here) is so innocent and extatic and how i'm not ever going to feel that way again

AARRGHHH sorry guys a total whinge i know but life is such a b*tch!!!! xx

Vickski · Nov 13, 2009 9:15AM

Same here Rocky, I've not been back in there since mc. I still read it fairly regularly but can't bring myself to post. I think my barrier is af still not having turned up. You can sit in the bitter corner with me haha xxx
Seriously though, I hope you start to feel better about it soon (or better still, get your BFP and skip that forum altogether!) xxx

ShellShell · Nov 13, 2009 9:21AM

You're not wrong-try not to venture there too often. I am lucky I have two children but after 2mmc in a row all the innocence and excitement is lost. Your day will come hun.
Xxxx

MrsMafiaPrincess · Nov 13, 2009 9:55AM

I feel the same! I have been in there to try and get the excitement back but I know I can't. When I get a BFP I am going to be terrified and will not stop until I know my tinker is in the right place. Then I won't stope worrying until 12 weeks and then for rest opf my life!

I know this is normal but us ladies have very real reason to be terrified. You're not awful. After experiences like ours you know 1st hand what can and has gone wrong. Puts a totally different slant on things.

It was my 1st experience of pregnancy and has scared the living hell out of me! x x

Vickski · Nov 13, 2009 9:59AM

Mafia Princess, will you get extra early scans and more supervision when you get your bfp? xx

rocky_kiz · Nov 13, 2009 10:07AM

oh i'm definitely bitter! lol, try not to be but i can't help it! it was my first experience of pregnancy too and although it was planned it scared the hell out of me and at one point i even questioned myself - how guilty did i feel when i was told it had all gone wrong!!! xx

moonandstars-88968 · Nov 13, 2009 12:29PM

It was my first experience of pregnancy too, and although I force myself to post in ttc (to try to keep my pma up and not dwell on things I can't change) sometimes the whole forum makes me want to scream the house down and fling the laptop out the window! There is a thread on it at the moment discussing how they will (or did) tell their oh's about their bfp.............well, you can all guess what I was thinking about as I read it. I felt so sad, and jealous, and angry, and resentful, and guilty. But mostly really really sad, because I should be 19 weeks pregnant, and I'm not.

There are some lovely ladies over there though, and mostly I find that it helps me, but visiting is bitter sweet. As Mafia said, I know that I won't be happy when I get my bfp, just scared out of my mind. Pregnancy really has lost it's shine and I don't think I will ever get it back.

rocky_kiz · Nov 13, 2009 12:40PM

ooohh yeah i read that one and just thought about how i did tell hubby and how next time how diff it will be. i should be 28 weeks now

glad it's not just me who wants to throw the laptop! some of them are lovely yes i do agree but its so hard how innocent they are - most haven't been through what we have even once, life is cruel! fair enough once i could handle, just, but half of them prob wont ever experience it and it makes me so so so mad. think i need to find a brick wall to bang my head against!!!! xx

jodie13 · Nov 13, 2009 12:50PM

I know luvvie - life is cruel and it seems like some of us get a bigger kick in the pants than others. I would never wish ill of any person, but you always seem to ask yourself "why me" and "it's not fair" i felt like i had a day of it at work yesterday it seemed to be that every other woman that came in was either pregnant, just had a baby or just finding out they were pregnant. We had a couple of women in that had only been with their partners a few months and it just felt so unfair, and the mood i was in i could have spent all of yesterday in tears.

MrsMafiaPrincess · Nov 13, 2009 4:31PM

Happy traveller, when I get another bfp my consultant has told me to bypass my gp and call EPU immediately. They will scan me at 6 weeks.

A girl at work is pregnant and showed me her scan pic. I asked when due,24th may, my due date. I burst into tears. I feel a real cow as everytime I see her it's a reminder. She's v young and when she was moaning today because chocolate makes her feel sick I could have slapped her! X x

moonandstars-88968 · Nov 13, 2009 4:46PM

Oh God Mafia, that sucks, it really does.

A friend of mine from my last school is due 4 weeks before I would have been. I didn't have a chance to tell her I was pregnant before I mc, and have been avoiding her like the plague since the erpc (haven't TOUCHED facebook since it happened). And she is lovely and not moany at all, so I can sympathise with you for sure!

gemgems13 · Nov 13, 2009 6:28PM

I'm posting on the cbfm thread in there a bit, but I can only handle popping in once a day. there's someone in there who got a bfp today and already has 2 tickers!!

I know what you mean about pg never being the same again. Day after my bfp I ordered 3 (!) pg books and read them all within a week, and was ready pg mags all the time. Now I feel like next time I get a bfp I'll be scared to get too excited.

armaghbabe · Nov 13, 2009 6:53PM

just came home from my terriible d&c experience 2 wks ago---was just sitting down on sittee and got a text from my friend 2 say she was expecting and due 13th a may--2 days after my EDD!!

Pickle1984 · Nov 13, 2009 7:04PM

Hi everyone im so glad this has been discussed, hope u dont mind me joining in. I too am usually in ttc but just lately have been finding it harder to deal with, there have been a LOT of BFPs this month, which is absolutely fantastic, but i still feel sad. Its 11 days until what should of been my EDD so i thinki thats why im feeling this way, i was so sure i'd be pregnant again by now too. Hope you're all ok, thanks for listening xx

waiting4baby · Nov 13, 2009 7:14PM

Can I join this moan too please. I wouldn't wish bad on anyone but I don't like the ttc forum either, I know it's not but I feel like everyone is pregnant after 1 second of trying, shouting about it at 4weeks and then go into pregnancy and moan how they're ohs are telling them to take it easy etc...... Drives me mad, I want to shout at them all to be careful and not go on about it lol. I've had 2 pregnancies and despite no problems had been weary in both but come 12 weeks felt it was all hunky dorey- will never feel like that again. 40 weeks will be an age, and even then you've to worry about cot death or all the other fears you have once lo actually arrives! Aaaarrrggh! (thanks- not much better but enjoyed the rant

rocky_kiz · Nov 14, 2009 6:10AM

i am SO glad you've all moaned as well! makes me fell SO much better!!! i complained for a whole week about feeling constantly sick... next time i;m not complaining at all! i'll welcome the aches and the sickness!!! was xmas pressie shopping yesterday and found the coolest book that would've been an ace pressie for DH, was like a car haynes manual but for babies! and how to look after / operate them - really funny but v true! have secretly written down the ISBN so when it happens next time i can get it for a pressie - obviously after the all clear! xx

laujai · Nov 14, 2009 6:27AM

I loved ttc and was over there for a while after I had my 1st mmc & when I had the chem pg & I would pop over here, I think when we lost the 3rd I felt more comfortable here & in ltttc, I didnt really know anyone there anymore & as lovely as everyone is I couldnt share the same excitement as I used to about ttc. I do always seem to feel confident about a pg progressing cause we need to keep the faith that it will happen but I find the whole ttc thing frustrating & hard work now so think it's nice that we have places to talk with others who have shared the heartache of mc or ltttc & let the others who are innocent to it all enjoy the palava of it all. xxxx

moonandstars-88968 · Nov 14, 2009 11:19AM

I think what I like about this forum is that although we are all hopeful that everything will work out for us next time, we also understand that nothing is guaranteed. It's not like we are all moany old cows, we just accept that pregnancy can be a long hard journey.

I feel so at home with everyone on here - far more than I ever did on the Due in April forum (nice as they were). There is genuine compassion for each other and a level of understanding that is lovely. It's great to have somewhere where you can be honest about your feelings and know that you won't be judged, but listened to and respected.

Just thought I would add that - hope it wasn't too soppy!

rocky_kiz · Nov 14, 2009 2:15PM

no m+s i think you've summed it up in one!!! xx

jodie13 · Nov 14, 2009 2:43PM

aaaaahhhhhh - M&S that was lovely - like rocky says, you have totally summed it up!!

Jodie xx

Dotty_Jackie · Nov 14, 2009 8:29PM

Hi,
Hope you don't mind me gatecrashing from the ttc forum. I know people in there are full of the joys of spring but for me personally they have bought the excitement back into being pregnant for me. I lost my son Ewan, he was stillborn 8 weeks ago today, I was 27 weeks pg. I posted on the bereavment forum, no-one apart from waiting4baby (above) wanted to talk. Once me and my partner decided to try again I posted on the ttc after bereavment, again there is no-one to talk to, in my opinion it's not a great forum, i felt very lonely!! I did look into this forum and you all seemed so chatty and as though you knew each other, which is fantastic, but again i felt as though I wouldn't know what you guys had been through. So I felt the ttc forum might be the best place for me, and I have to say they have lifted my spirit so much and really given me back my PMA. There are women on there that have suffered mc's and stillbirths, albeit not many, that are positive, after all if you lose that what have you got left!!
I hope you don't mind me saying these things, it's just that they really have helped me get through my bad times.

On another note, I hope you all get your BFP's soon, I think we all deserve them xx

Can't handle the ttc forum

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