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long story but newbie Update

Hi
ive had a bit of a nightmare few months
sept ectopic pregnancy and haemoragic cyst diagnosed op following day
october +ve pregnancy test image
November started work placement on delivery suite at local hosp as am a mw in training (on hold now)
12th nov assisted lovely delivery and told people at hosp was expecting baby but on the 13th i had one sided pain and was rushed to scan. they could find no evidence of baby but my hcg was as high as a 16 weeker so a laproscopy was done. they found what they assumed was an ectopic in tube and so removed tube which i was very upset about as i have fertility issues usually requiring clomid to fall pregnant! however the report came back saying it had been a cyst in tube (v rare supposedly)
a week later hcg is still rising so more scans and molar pregnancy diagnosed (again meant to be a rare condition but have encountered a lot of other women who have been through it) which is terrifying and made things hard to deal with as it was complete molar so no baby was ever there. i am 7 weeks from d&c and hoping my levels drop to normal soon. im anxious to ttc but husbund is not convinced as dormant molar tissue can reactivate after pregnancy. its all so blinking confusing and i cannot get rid of this head ache i have had since op!

sorry just needed to vent hope im in the right place



Have just had my first Normal hcg 5 so heres to many more and convincing hubby to ttc xxxxxxxxximage

[Modified by: lollyhatch on 15 January 2010 10:33:16 ]

Replies

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    My goodness hun, you have been through the mill haven't you. Am so sorry to hear your story but you are definitely in the right place.

    I am going through a miscarriage/poss ectopic at the moment (under care of EPU, not clear what is happening...) and the wonderful ladies on here have been amazing in the my hour (week) of need.

    I don't have alot of experience but wanted to say welcome and that there are many wonderful angels on this forum who will help you/advise you and of course we are always here when you need to vent.

    Love MrsH xxx
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    Hi hun, my goodness, you poor thing! I'm so sorry to hear the hard time you have had lately, as Mrs H has said we are all hear to support each other through the difficult times and of course the happy times (there will be some I promise) anytime you want to vent or chat or even if you just want a virtual hug, you know where to find us.

    Thinking of you (((((hugs))))) xx
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    I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through. I had an ectopic pregnancy in september too.

    Moon and stars and Gussie have had molar pregnancies and am sure they will be able to help out when they read your thread.

    Big hugs x x
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    Hi, So sorry to hear what you are going through. I cannot give any advice on ectopic/molar but had to mcs last year so sending you some really bigs hugs.. xx
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    hi lolly, good to see you over here chick (in the nicest way possible).
    How are you ? Been thinking about you alot x x x x
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    Hi Lolly

    So sorry to hear your story. I hope what I can offer is of some use to you.

    I had a partial molar pregnancy which ended in a mmc at the end of September. Unfortunately the hospital didn't tell me I had had a partial mole until the middle of November. When I was told I was, like you, incredibly confused about the whole thing. I found this website invaluable:

    http://molarpregnancy.co.uk/

    On there you will find explanations of what a complete molar is, in very easy to understand terms. There is also a forum, which I found to be a great support, although I have weaned myself off it now as some of the stories were very full on and I found them a little bit frightening!

    There are three (I think) hospitals in the UK which do the follow up care. I was referred to Charing Cross in London, where there is a wonderful counsellor called Joan that I spoke to at length and helped me feel less lost and confused. So I would deffo recommend talking to Joan or her equivalent (depends on where you live).

    What are your hCG levels at the moment? To be considered "normal" blood hCG levels have to be less than 5, and urine less than 24 (or 26, can't quite remember). Forgive me if you have already been told this, but depending on how fast your levels return to normal will dictate how long you are in follow up for. If they fall to normal within 56 days of the d&c your follow up is dated from the date of the d&c and lasts for 6 months. If they do not fall within the 56 days you carry on until they do so and then your 6 month follow up starts from the date they return to normal. Technically you are not meant to ttc during follow up because of the risk that the hCG can cause the moles to start growing again. However it is a very personal decision when to start ttc again, and there is a huge school of thought that says that once your levels fall to normal they are extremely unlikely to start to rise again. In fact Gussie, who is from the US, was given the ok to ttc again one and a half months after her mc. So there is no actual world wide consensus on that one.

    For my part, because I wasn't told for over two months I had missed the crucial 56 day time frame and so my follow up has been dated from the date of my first normal results (so will end in May). However by the time I got the first results back it was 3 months since the erpc, I had been ovulating and having periods as normal, and after speaking with Joan and others hubby and I felt comfortable to start ttc, and so we have!

    I hope I have helped you a little bit. I don;t know how much you were told about the medical side of it, so I hope I wasn't telling you old news!

    Emotionally I found it a very confusing and lonely time, and was really freaked out by it. If you ever need to chat, feel free to do one of those FAO posts to me (or Gussie, I'm sure she wouldn't mind - she was really helpful when I asked for her help).

    Oh, and also, there were a number of ladies on the molar forum who had suffered headaches post operation.

    xxSara
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    hi moon and stars i think i may have spoken to you over on molar preg site. they didnt say what levels were just low and on track?? but am having first af at the moment so must be normal?? sent bloods this time last week and am waiting to get next test kit back fingers crossed it will just be the one tube lol!

    are the follow ups the same for partial and complete molars? just wondering as a friends mum had complete and was in follow up for a year? but that was some time ago.

    emmotionally its weird im grieving for something that technically wasnt a baby but i miss it if that makes sense? cannot get my head round anything and hubby has put foot down about ttc image
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    Yes, we may well have spoken before - I thought I recognised your name!

    I've just checked the info from Charing Cross and it does seem that the follow up is 6 months for both types of mole. Where is your follow up? I assume it is the same across the UK.

    I find that when I ring the testing ladies they will only say that the results are "normal" but will give you a figure if you press them.

    Also when I spoke to the ladies they said that the follow up used to be for a year, but they have decreased it based on what they have learnt about the disease. So your follow up will be for six months, once you have normal hCG levels.

    Just because there was technically no baby does not lessen your loss nor will it lessen your grief. You still need time to get over what has happened, as well as come to terms with the whole molar thing.

    My hubby was also adamant that we would under no circumstances ttc until after the 6 months. However I did lots of research and spoke to lots of ladies on the forum and after a while he came round to my way of thinking. I can understand why he was so dead against it - he loves me and doesn't want to loose me, and as the word "cancer" was being bandied about a bit too easily he was freaked out. I'm sure your oh is the same; especially considering you have also been through an ectopic pregnancy.

    xxSara
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    yes thats it! he is very worried about ttc as we need clomid usually to get pregnant but our gynae said there is a link between clomid and gestational cancers, so they wont prescribe it and hubby now has it in his mind it will "wake up any dormant cells" i think he is just so scared bless him, we havent been on a very strong footing as i asked him after ectopic if he still loved me, i felt like they'd made me hurt the baby and he couldnt grieve over it as he was glad it was gone so i would be ok if that makes sense? the cancer bit did have him worried especially with the headaches as they are constant and he read it spreads most easily to chest and brain! thank you google!!!!! but charing x said it can happen and it's very easily treated so im quite calm if it happens again it happens i'll deal but i dont want to close the door on having children forever. he said he wont ever see a positive test and feel happy again he'll just worry its back image poor man i suppose if it was him risking his health id feel the same.

    xxxx
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    I know what you mean. Although I am okay with the molar issue now it is still in the back of my mind. I suppose it will always be there until I have a healthy baby and know that I am healthy. But like you I don't want to give up on becoming a mum.

    My oh felt better once we had had a couple of normal results back. I also asked strategic questions of the Charing Cross ladies which helped him feel better. Perhaps you and your oh could come to a compromise - eg four months of normal results before you ttc again?

    Also your oh sounds pretty good at expressing his emotions. Would it help him to see Joan at Charing Cross? That really helped me.
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    I havent heard about any counciling? all ive had so far are the first two sample kits (really hope im not the only one who completey lost it when first seeing the lil brown bag!) no one has actually spoken to us image i did last bloods 8 days ago n haven't heard back or got next kit through yet so may have to do some chasing? last time it was 5 days n new kit arrived. i think maybe im avoiding charring as i just dont want any of this, i just want to grieve n move on.

    anyway thanks for replying and i really hope you get a bfp soon xxxx
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    HI Lollyhatch

    Im so sorry for all you have been through over the last year, you have shown so much strenghth over what has been a truely awful time.
    OH & I have been TTC for 20 months & in that time i have suffered 2 MCs. The first at 6 weeks, the second at 5 weeks. The first one deverstated both me & OH but OH was left realy traumatised by it & still wont talk about it. When i fell PG the 2nd time i decided to let it progress further before i told OH,But sadly that 2 wasnt to be & i MCd at5 weeks. I felt it best to spare OH the pain so ive never told him about it.
    Due to my PCOS ive been given Clomid to help things as i very rarely OV. Now OH was well aware this was happening & when i finally got the perscription he told me he didnt want to TTC.
    Its rocked us as a couple & although he has agreed to try this cycle if it doesnt work he wants us to take a break from TTC for a while.
    Alot of it is too do with fear, he is terrified of another MC & doesnt want me to suffer the pain of it either. I think its also fear of how a baby will potentailly change the dinamic of the relationship & the way you live your life, lack of freedom maybe?

    The only advice i could possibly give is keep talking things through. I know this can be hard, My OH has a habit of changeing the subject!

    I wish you all the very best of luck hun & hope 2010 is your year. xxxxx
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