Having another small blip....

laujai · Feb 23, 2010 9:58AM

Hi girls

Sorry I feel like all iv done lately is moan or been an emotional wreck!!

My bf has told me today she is pg, dont get me wrong I am happy for her, I know that for her it was hard to tell me as she had just started trying for no 2 (conceived 1st cycle) she knows the struggle we have had & has been a wonderful support to me & oh as she has also suffered mc before her dd no1 & we had both hoped that we would conceive together & be bump buddies.

Im not jealous I just feel really disapointed that it's not been that easy for us, I am the only one out of my good friends that still doesnt have any children & doesnt seem to be getting any closer to it happening.

And I just cant stop thinking about it, it's been playing on my mind since she told me this afternoon, im not upset that shes pg just upset that im not!!!

Sorry!! xx

rocky_kiz · Feb 22, 2010 2:44PM

aaawwww hun, dont be, i felt like this when my friend told me on sat that she was 13 weeks. i'm over the moon 4 her as she's had 2 mc's and knows about mine and ttc again etc but it wouldn't leave my mind either! Don't want it to sound mean but i was happy for her yet i still can't stand to be around the girl i work with who must be about 15 wks by now, she conceived after only a few months of stopping the pill and all seems well, life is so so unfair, and i know no matter what we say nothing will actually make u feel any better apart from a big healthy bean kicking around! (obv not a bean by that point but ygwim!) lol,

don't say sorry hun, i always think twice about posting a moaning post, was quite tempted to tonight actually! lol, but everyone always helps pick u up again and thats what we here 4 so why the hell not!!! and i totally get what u mean about everyone else having kids or being pg! it's 2 years next month since i stopped my pill, and what have i got to show.... nothing but heartache!

it's easier said than done but try to be strong for that lil while longer until ur appt, i really really hope they'll give you some answers of if they can't at least an actionplan for your next pg to try and give ur body a helping hand!

sending you lots of ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) xxx

laujai · Feb 22, 2010 2:56PM

Thanks Rocky just needed to get it off my chest & talk to someone about it. It doesnt sound mean hun, I am ashamed to say but I felt like that with our 1st mmc with my sil!!! I couldnt even look at her & I love her!! What did you want to moan about hun or was it to do with the other pg's that you mentioned above?

That's why I post in ltttc as well cause they get the heartache of the time scale that's been involved & the girlies here get the mc heartache.

I am genuinly happy for her & I knew before she told me just had a feeling as with her dd1 she conceived 1st month as well. Feel awful cause she's lovely!!

Gona go to appt tomorrow & ask what the action plan is on getting me a sticky bun in the oven before the year is out, sad I know the year has just started but baby wont be born this year at this rate!!!

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))) right back at ya xxx

rocky_kiz · Feb 22, 2010 3:41PM

ooohhhh tomorrow, i knew it was this week. def make sure you post and let us know how u get on!!!! i just feel moany about the timescale tbh! didn't think it'd take this long!!!! maybe thats where i've gone wrong... hhmmmm, i know it's crazy, only got a few months to go, xxx

gemgems13 · Feb 22, 2010 4:49PM

don't feel bad about being upset laujai. a couple me and hubs are vv close to found out they were pg and told us about 3 weeks after my MC. I felt so awful as they'd only been trying a month and it'd taken us 8months first time round. I felt happy for them, but so sad for myself. But now I'm pg I will onyl be due 4months behind them. These are people we'll be friends with forever and so in 10yrs time that difference will seem tiny. If this is your BF you'll be the same - even if it takes you another few months, looking back in a few years time your LO's will seem really close together.

Hope the appt goes really well, and you come up with a good plan with the consultant.

Gems
xx

waiting4baby · Feb 22, 2010 5:35PM

Oh laujai it's such a mix of emotions isn't it and so hard to deal with. My friend had her baby 2weeks ago and I have lost 2 in that time, she was moaning about how tired she was and the pains of labour which is natural and allowed but I just felt so crap as she didn't comprehend that I'd been through all of that and my baby girl can't be here

it's always going to be hard but I guess we just have to stay positive and know when we get there we'll be the happiest people on earth and our children will never want for love. I am fortunate as I already have a son so I know I have that distraction from my losses but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone with those 'i'm so happy for you but it's not fair' moments x

lj09 · Feb 22, 2010 7:35PM

Moan away, that's what we're here for, to smooth the rough times, and share in the good times.

It too can empathise entirely with what you're going through. It was only a month ago that my bf told me she was pg with her second, and I am so happy for her, but sad at the same time. I guess it is normal to feel this way, but it doesn't make it any easier.

I hope your appt goes well tomorrow, and that you get all the answers you are looking for so that you can move on with ttc to get that much deserved lil' bean.

Sending you lots of hugs and PMA x x x

purplebubbles · Feb 23, 2010 5:33AM

hi Laujai,

you are not a bad person, I feel exactly the same.

Im distancing myself from friends, and more people seem to be annoucing their pregnancies, that I just think its not fair it should be our turn!!!

it will be our turns soon hun

you are such a strong woman and even in cyber space I can tell how genuinely nice and supportive you are.

I hope your appt goes

lots of love and hugs

x x x

laujai · Feb 23, 2010 8:31AM

Thanks so much ladies

I just feel so deflated at the moment, appt was rubbish (see other post) and am just sat here crying, I couldnt wait to get home just so I could talk to you lot as I dont even feel like the cons understand anymore!! xxx

purplebubbles · Feb 23, 2010 9:26AM

oh hun, im sat here crying with you.

Ive just read your other post - what a load of b ollax! im so angry that they didnt give you the time you deserve. did they say what the next stage would be?

x x x

clarehair · Feb 23, 2010 9:35AM

hi lovey...huge hugs coming your way ((((((((hugs))))))))

xxxxxxxxxxx

laujai · Feb 23, 2010 9:55AM

PB I will be getting an appt through for a hysteroscopy, I'll either go under general or have a epidural!!! They'll insert a camera through lady bits to get a better look at my uterus to make sure it's all in good shape & not to much scar tissue or endometriosis opted for this rather than the lap as I think it will be a bit less invasive if thats at all possible (wont need any incisions)!!!

It's just never straight forward & it seems to be for us thar it never rains it bloody pours!!! xxxx

Thanks for the hugs Clare xxxx

MrsMafiaPrincess · Feb 23, 2010 9:58AM

Hugs Laura.

I live in fear that my SIL is going to announce she's pregnant. Whilst you are happy for your bf I understand it's quite a constant reminder of what you want. It's totally natural to feel how you do, although it doesn't make it any easier.

x xx

Having another small blip....

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