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Can i join you please?
Hi, can I join you please? I don't really know where else to turn at the mo. I suffered a miscarriage over the last week or so at 8-9 weeks (was due in may) and am absolutely in limbo. It took my dh and I over a year to conceive and we were so delighted that we had managed it naturally. I spent 4 nights in hospital as they thought I had a cornual ectopic (thank god I didn't) and then miscarried. I feel like such a failure at the minute, I'm torn between starting again straight away and not being able to go through the whole ordeal ever again. Does/did anyone else here feel like this??? I'm so sorry to come on here and moan, I really just need to see that there are other people who have been through this and come out the other side.
Many thanks,
xxxx
Many thanks,
xxxx
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Replies
I really hope things start to look up for you soon xxx
Everyone is different and at the moment we feel that the only way to cope with our loss is to ttc as soon as possible. Take care of yourself and just take each day and each emotion as it comes.
Big hugs Karen xx
Sorry for your loss. It is rough going through a MMC. MIne was at the beginning of sept and i found out at 12 1/2 wks at 1st scan that the baby had died at 9 1/2 wks. You will go through a rollercoaster of emothions (cliche i know but soooo true) and only YOU can decide when is ready for you to start trying again. I waited for first AF before starting to try, just to try and get my body and emotions in check. Some people on here have had luck starting straight away, and others can't face it at all yet. There is no right or wrong answer to this and your mind will probably change several times over the next few weeks, and as it was only last week you can't expect to be feeling any where near normal. I have found that the girls on this site have been absolutely fantastic when you feel liek you have no-one else to turn to, they will help you with any questions, so please have a chat when you feel like it, it honestly helps.
Take care
Jodie xx
So sorry to hear about your loss - it really is such a dreadful thing to go through. I too had a MMC in March this year which ended with a traumatic stay in hospital. I think you go through every emotion possible, and it can be really frustrating that you and OH will probably deal with it differently. It takes time to get over something like this, and I think the best thing you can do is talk about it. I was able to discuss my loss with OH, friends and family and found it really helped to tell them how I was feeling. I also went for counselling which was a massive help, so maybe that might be something you want to consider. Time really is a great healer and you will start to feel better, but you will experience numerous milestones along the way. As horrid as it is, you really do come out of it realising just how strong you are.
As for TTC again, it really is up to you - and your body and how you feel emotionally! I waited for my first AF and then decided to try again. But be prepared for things not to go how you might want them too. My hopes of TTC quite soon after MMC were dashed by the AF from hell which seemed to last forever. And in all honesty, I think it took my body a good 4 months to get back to normal. But I also think it has taken me that time to feel emotionally strong again - I now feel I have the strength to deal with the anxieties I will have when I get PG again.
Take care of yourself and make sure you get lots of hugs from OH.
J x
Sorry to jump onto your post HappyTraveller, but can I also join in? I've recently suffered my 2nd mc, and although I thought I had come to terms with it I'm beginning to think perhaps not.
My first mc was last October and I was really quite ill - I suffered a ruptured cyst on my ovary, which caused massive internal bleeding - lost a lot of blood and was in hospital for a good few days, then on sick leave for over a month and due to all the trauma I had an early mc. I kinda count myself lucky looking back at it coz they originally thought it was an ectopic, but when they discovered it wasn't, they didn't have to take a tube.
But then nearly a year later I find out I'm pg again, only to suffer another mc at 5 weeks. I just don't understand what i've done to deserve it... does that make sense? And now my body seems to be playing cruel tricks on me - I stopped bleeding at the end of last week, but now and then I'm still noticing pg symptoms. Like right now, my breast REALLY ache and I keep getting weird sensations in my belly. I'm probably reading too much into it and it's probably all psychological, but it's just so hard to bear!
I've looked at this forum a few times since my last mc, but have only now found the confidence to post. I'm so sorry to read about people's losses, but I take some solace in knowing there are people out there who have been through the same as me and have exactly the same thoughts and feelings (as horrible as it is). I know now that I'm not alone.
HT, I hope you feel better soon - I'm having my ups and downs. We've decided to ttc again straight away, just because we want to... can't give any other reason why really!
We were origibally told was a miscarriage and wanted to try straight away. But then it took a month to diagnose and had medical management and still waiting for hormones to go down.
I can't ttc until January. Originally I was devestated but now I feel that I need that time to get over this traumatic month.
I think it is a very personal thing and you should try when you're ready. Someone said to me, god forbid it should happen again, would you be strong enough to deal with it? I think that's the test x x
Big hugs to you both xx
thanks for your posts. It really does help to know there are other people out there going through the same experience (although obviously I'd rather you weren't). Purple gherkin, join in all you want. So sorry to see you're going through a rough time too. My body was also playing nasty tricks on me, though this seems to be calming down a bit too.
I bit the bullet and went back to the gym yesterday to try and force myself back into normality. I THINK it helped, though I reckon how I feel about it all will change on a daily basis.
Thanks again for your welcome ladies, I'll look forward to reading about your future successes in ttc and hope I can offer some support to you too
xxx
My emotions change on a daily basis too - was really down yesterday, but feeling more positive today. I guess being busy at work helps though.
Here's to success for us all in the near future!
xx