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All over...... Again! :,(
Had my scan this morning, I should have been 13+4 min and baby measured 11+ weeks, no heart beat. Can't believe it I feel like the world is against me. They said they think it was a boy and there was something wrong so would never have made it to full term. Cystic hygroma- but I've looked that upband all that meant was swelling around neck/head, which angel had and they said was purely down to having been dead a while inside me. Am now feeling like something really important is being missed as far as me and having babies go. ESP as despite me thinking my 2yr old is perfect, on paper he isnt as visually impaired but ALL his tests come back normal too!!!!!! I have to go in on thursday for a mc induction thing. They'd given me 3 options, wait and it could take weeks, have a pill and force mc on thurs or a d&c but several week waiting list!!!! Great choices really! I'm not hanging around so forcing mc on Thursday, no idea what to expect but don't believe it can be as bad as giving birth- hope to god it's not anyway!
I am a wreck, I'm well aware this wasn't a fully developed baby yet but I also know that my husband was adamant we'd not ttc again if anything were to go wrong so I feel like I'm crying for losing the chance of more children and my son being alone forever aswell! Also what I'd something is wrong with me and I'm just asking for it!????
I'm hoping my husband will come around but I know my body couldn't cope anytime soon anyway so I'm going to have to concentrate on what I have instead. Perhaps getting down to sI haven't even told my husband yet, I don't know how and am scared of his reaction. It seems so unfair but size 0 or something! Tsk
????I guess I have to be grateful it happened now not later but really peed off my pains were a mmc not a uti and were brushed off! I'm also glad that although I was already daydreaming I hadn't got so attatched! I did everything by the book this time and as stated before hadnt even had sex jic!!! Aaaarrrggh!
Upset I can't do anything with this ones remains but it's probably for the best, they're not doing any tests as not 3months yet but I do wonder whether I should try forcing the issue because of my concerns!!!????
Anyway hope all is going well with all of you. Although I won't be ttc anytime soon I'll still pop in and see how you're all doing
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I am a wreck, I'm well aware this wasn't a fully developed baby yet but I also know that my husband was adamant we'd not ttc again if anything were to go wrong so I feel like I'm crying for losing the chance of more children and my son being alone forever aswell! Also what I'd something is wrong with me and I'm just asking for it!????
I'm hoping my husband will come around but I know my body couldn't cope anytime soon anyway so I'm going to have to concentrate on what I have instead. Perhaps getting down to sI haven't even told my husband yet, I don't know how and am scared of his reaction. It seems so unfair but size 0 or something! Tsk
????I guess I have to be grateful it happened now not later but really peed off my pains were a mmc not a uti and were brushed off! I'm also glad that although I was already daydreaming I hadn't got so attatched! I did everything by the book this time and as stated before hadnt even had sex jic!!! Aaaarrrggh!
Upset I can't do anything with this ones remains but it's probably for the best, they're not doing any tests as not 3months yet but I do wonder whether I should try forcing the issue because of my concerns!!!????
Anyway hope all is going well with all of you. Although I won't be ttc anytime soon I'll still pop in and see how you're all doing
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Replies
Sending you love and hugs xx
it is so so unfair, if there was a god why people like u who have already been through so much,
i just dont know what to say, just take some comfort in ure boy
i am so so sorry 4 u . my heart really goes out
take time and take care
Lisaxx
As far as pushing for tests- well I know if it were me, I would be wanting too find out. So if that's what u want push for it. I am appaled at the 'long' waiting list for a d an c. You take time to think about what you want, hopefully hubby will come round. If you need to chat atall about anything, you know where we are xxx
HUGS to all of you x
Hubby has been fab as usual, got the hugs and the promises all will be ok. I explained I was upset about the thought of having no more and we've both agreed physically it's not a good idea now and we should definitely be asking more qns about it all. I think we'll just no longer actively ttc and let nature take it's course and with any luck that's all the crap we'll have for a while!
Hubby has been fab as usual, got the hugs and the promises all will be ok. I explained I was upset about the thought of having no more and we've both agreed physically it's not a good idea now and we should definitely be asking more qns about it all. I think we'll just no longer actively ttc and let nature take it's course and with any luck that's all the crap we'll have for a while!
Hi
Im so sorry I understand that you need answers and i think you should push for them. I am sending you massive hugs.
much love
Team blue (hiding as just cant face being me at the moment)
Rosa x
I'm very confused about my feelings. I've tried to just get on with things, I'm not going to let this beat me, I just can't.... I know there is a chance something was wrong and I've specifically asked for the chromosomal abnormality test to be done jic. I'm so cross and upset it's happened again and I feel like I should have recieved better care and had more tests. I know there are people who've had it far worse than me and I am grateful it didn't happen later but basically, 'why! :,(' ....... I've been researching all issues around mc and going to demand all tests are done, they can't make me go through another loss before testing, it just isn't fair! I've really struggled with how to deal with this one, I'm almost in denial I was ever pregnant and so glad I didn't get too overly attatched BUT given it's me and my body I've now got milk coming in- I can't believe it, I thought I'd have been spared that this time but obviously not! I'm having teary moments and am feeling that same need/want to be pregnant, it's just I know I'll be most fertile for the next 3 months and then who knows, but I also know I've now packed a labour bag twice in 6months and still no newborn at home with me, I really don't think my body could take it and quite frankly until my gp can give me some promising answers it would be crazy! ????My family now all know as my mum has been with me and people were beginning to think I was pregnant, going through a sicky patch, and they were getting excited so we needed to nip it in the bud- I'm still glad I didn't tell them earlier though as at least they are not crashing down after being happy for me if that makes sense.
I've decided I'm booking (well going to try seeing as it's near impossible to ever see them when you need to) an appt with gp on Monday and at least start the ball rolling with tests. I don't see the consultant until the end of march. I feel like I'm on the phone to customer services and pushing a load of numbers to eventually get through to someone who I know will be totally clueless! Professionals are pretty crap with diagnosis(not always) but they're even worse at dealing with emotion grrrr!????
Anyway enough of my rant and thanks again, hope that you are all doing well in whatever stage you're at. X ????
I am ever, ever so sorry for your sad news. There isn't much anyone can say to make you feel better. I really hope that you will try and be positive for your son and I hope in time your husband will come round to the idea of trying again. It's too soon to be talking about it.
As you know we lost our twins at 24weeks about 3 months ago. The pain is never going to go but you start being able to deal with it.
I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that god gives you the strength to cope with this.
Before we lost the twins in Nov 2009, my wife had an assisted MC in Feb 2009, similar story to yours, at 9 weeks there was no heartbeat. She was told she had 3 options, wait, D&C or pill to assist with MC. We opted for the pill.
Once again my heartfelt sympathy.
I'm not going to give up because I can't, I just hope my husband can stand by me through this as as much as it pains me to say it, he isn't as much of a fighter as me. I have no intention of giving up unless a dr tells me to, but that's partly because I've got to hold onto the hope that 'next time will be ok' I don't know that I'll cope should it happen again but ATM I'm not willing to give up even though I'm petrified, I just have to have a break. I hate to think negatively but right now I'm finding it difficult not to, I'm hoping in time I'll get my pma back and join you all with the baby annoncements
I know havent been through quite the same but you know our history & I think that if you need a little break to build up your strength & your happy with that then it's a great idea. We had a little break from it all & felt much stronger & positive afterwards.
Wishing you all the best hun.
Hugs xxxx