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Just curious....

my friend's baby is due today lol...wish her luck.

She has decided to FF without even trying to BF.....I cant understanf this as (IMO) I do believe you should try, otherwise how can you make the correct decision?!

Did you try to BF before FF? Or not? How did you decide what to do?



  • Hey MKB,

    How are you?

    My SIL made this choice, her baby is coming up to a month old now (yay, I am an auntie image ) Each to their own, of course, but I think if I had planned to FF then I would have still wanted baby to have colostrum.

    I always planned to BF; however from day 2 we were advised to top up with formula and I moved to FF after a month. I understand now that the fact that I simply couldn't satisfy Grace may well be due to my birth experience which was 5 days of induction, 20 hours of established labour then an emergency section, and no sleep!

    So, hopefully if we have another baby my birth experience will be a lot more positive and would like to BF if possible.

    Em xx

    PS All the best for your friend!
  • I was talking about this to my friend only the other day! I personally think that everyone should at least try it, then if you can't do it for whatever reason then go to FF.

    I wanted to BF and managed it until recently when she just kept fussing and I just thought it was time to move her to fully FF, however I did combine FF and BF from her being 3 days old as she was such a hungry baby, and I couldn't express much so needed to give her something to give me a break. I am on my own with her and she was just so demanding, so from being 3 weeks old she had 2 bottles a day together with numerous BF, then at night when she woke I would BF and then she would pretty much always have a bottle after as she just would not settle with BF. I always planned to BF and I am so jealous of the people who manage to do it exclusively and their baby goes the 3 hours or so between feeds without any fuss, but on the other hand I am glad I was able to BF even a little a day for as long as I could x
  • Hey ladies!
    I think its a very personal choice, I have a friend who has a phobia of breastfeeding, but only as a mother, not if she sees someone feeding!
    I was determinded to breastfeed! LO had her first feed for half an hour right after birth then didnt feed for 3 days and had to be force fed, hospital told me they would find me a pump but never did and eventually she ended up having some formula. When i got home she was put back to the breast but wanted to feed for an hour or two at a time, and never seemed satisfied. At 4 months the health visitor noticed she had a tongue tie! We managed 10 weeks mixed feeding!
    I too am very jealous of those who have managed! I am now very clued up, and just wish id known then what I do now and will be even more determined next time. We have a breatfeeding support group in my area which I didnt know about til after she was born, the lady who runs it will even visit you in hospital to help you out if you want, next time I will go in the last few weeks of my pregnancy and when baby is here!

  • I think there's far too much pressure from midwives and other people to bf. I decided to bf but can understand why someone may not want to. I think there are so many other factors to consider, such as returning to work early or having other young and demanding children around. I bf Jack an hour after his birth and continued with many problems so after 2 days, I introduced a bottle as I couldn't keep up with Jack's demand. I expressed for 2 weeks after but my milk wasn't great so he was ff after that and was much more content.

    As mams. we do what's best for us so good for your friend for being brave enough to know her own mind and what's best for her. Happy mum = happy baby - either bf or ff.

    Jack is now 21lb, 72cm, happy and healthy. He is very content and slept through from 8 weeks old. No complaints on formula front on his part...ha ha

    K x
  • Kirsty - my little Grace is pretty much the same size as Jack! Last week she was 71cm and 20lb 2oz. She is younger though at 27 weeks today! She has slept through since 5 weeks which is fab, and has always been a hungry baby lol

  • With James I was very determined to feed him myself, but he was very big when born - 11lbs 9oz! - and had very low blood sugar so the midwife gave him a bottle within half an hour of him being born, I was recovering from my section at the time so couldnt do much but watch.

    I then had an infection which I picked up from the hospital so had to go back in for a week so all in all it was impossible to establish bf with him.

    I am hoping it will be third time lucky! xx
  • we need to make it the norm as a society to BF, not the way out "earth mummies" like it is currently perceived to be.

    I reckon mums shouldn't be asked whether or not they will breast feed, it should just be assumed that they will, and when they don't they need a strong conviction that they are doing the best by their child in not giving them breast milk. If every mum knew the risks of formula, I am pretty sure the demands for it would not be so high, or like in some scandanavian countries where formula is only available on prescription.

    With more support 98% of mums could breast feed and enjoy it!

    Bets X
  • I decided not to BF from the start and don't think that everyone should have to give it a go if they dont want to.
    I have my own reasons for not wanting to BF and that is enough for me, i dont feel the pressure to do it nor was i pushed to try by anyone.

    I think it is a very personal choice and brilliant to those who have and do breast feed i think its really good
  • I also decided not to breastfeed and its down to the mother to decide for their own personal reasons. I know plenty of mothers who have been pushed into bf and for one reason or another have not been successful and then felt like a failure for not being able to feed their child.

    If you are successful and the baby is content and happy then thats good, at the end of the day the health and happiness of mother and baby is what matters.
  • Before I had Issy I was determined to breastfeed and kind of felt that new mums should give it a go before deciding. However, since having her and with all the problems I went through trying to feed her myself and how utterly crap I felt during that time I now feel that if new mum's decide just to FF then that's fine. It's their decision. I felt like such a failure because I couldn't continue to BF and that ruined the first 6 weeks following Issy's arrival as I felt so terrible. I wish i would have made the decision to stop expressing sooner as I have been a million times happier since and Issy is a much happier baby who is also very healthy! I 100% agree that in my case a happy mum has = a happy baby image
  • Hi Girls.

    With my first I wanted so badly to bf, when he was born he wouldn't latch on and by 4 days old he only had expressed milk off a spoon and not much of it. Depsite my concerns that he wasn't feeding, the hospital discharged me. the next day when the mw visited he still had not had anything to eat was jaundice and thin, the mw told me it was my imagination.

    The day after (6days old) another mw visited I again expressed my concerns, we were immediately readmitted to hospital and it was touch and go for a few days with my son as he was sooo malnurished. I expressed in hopsital and fed via bottle (as instructed by the Dr) and also topped up with ff. However one mw took exception to this and forced me to bf and by force me I mean litterly pinning me down and holding baby to me. Because my son was so underweight he was to be fed via bottle so we knew what he was getting but she just wouldn't listen. needless to say when we were eventually discharged we were both so traumatised that we ff and he is a hppy and healthly 6yo.

    This time round, I just decided to go with the flow and try my best but not get too down about it, the mw were more than aware of the previous experience I had and my concerns.

    I bf when harry was born, day 2 he received 1 ff from the mw but it was to try and make him sick as he had gunk in his tummy and it was kinder than tubing him.

    When I was discharged the hosp gave me ff to take home just in case. After day 6 I became very ill and was unable to feed as my temp was at 41. so we started to into ff and by 1 month he was exclusively ff. I am glad we had the first few days of bf.

    I think that there are too many hospital trusts with targets on bf that they donot look at each individual circumstance, Whilst bf is best for child it is not possible for everyone to do it and we must support them. But I do feel that if you can you should at least give it a go.

    Sorry for the war and peace

  • I too believe that it is a very personal choice whether to BF or FF and that there is a lot of pressure on mum's to BF. I also agree that individual circumstances should be taken into consideration.

    One of my good friends is a MW and I chatted with her prior to Alfie being born. She also talked about the same thing that Sapphire said, 'happy mum = happy baby'. I decided that I would try BF but if couldn't do it then wouldn't beat myself up about it. Unfortunately I failed miserably for various reasons - lack of milk, pain from section, Alfie wouldn't latch on and being up all night meant the following day I was exhausted and in that state felt I wasn't able to care for him as well as I could've done had I got at least a bit of sleep. I then made the choice, completely supported by my husband, to fully FF. I felt at the time an absolute failure and that I had let Alfie down but I think a lot of this feeling stems down to the pressure to BF.
    I take my hat off to those that have successfully managed to BF and wish I could have done it but sometimes posts like this make me feel like a rubbish mum. I'm certain that wasn't the intention at all and is me just being over sensitive but I feel for those mum's who chose to FF right from the start; they may feel a little offended and it does seem as if they are being frowned upon which is a little unfair.

    Shell xx
  • Shell,

    I know exactly how you feel that is exactly how I felt first time round about being a rubbish mum.

    Don't beat yourself up too much though you must be doing something right to have a happy and healthy little one.

    As my hv said, the formulas you get nowadays are as close to breastmilk as you can possibly get and although they are meant to encourage bf, she feels that so long as you are both happy and healthy that is the main thing. after all 30 years ago we were all ff and we all turned out alright (well maybe!!!!)

  • Dont beat yourself up about it hunny, these posts shouldnt be started in the first place, it bugs the life out of me.

    I dont mean this to sound difficult but this website and forum is here for support and advice about pregnancy, birth and looking after our lovley babies, not to start topics that doubt or put down other mummies ways and means of bringing up their babies.

    Sorry for the rant but it annoys me x
  • Dont beat yourself up about it hunny, these posts shouldnt be started in the first place, it bugs the life out of me.

    I dont mean this to sound difficult but this website and forum is here for support and advice about pregnancy, birth and looking after our lovley babies, not to start topics that doubt or put down other mummies ways and means of bringing up their babies.

    Sorry for the rant but it annoys me x
  • We're all fab mams so please dont feel that anyone has let their baby down by moving or starting on formula.

    I second that newlook. Lets agree to support and not judge or persecute image

    MKB - I hope you're happy that yet again, you have opened a post that has caused upset. I'm sure that was your intention - so well done!

    [Modified by: xxkirstyrxx on March 24, 2010 10:40 AM]

  • Ladies, I can see that this is a touchy subject. Seeing as the august forum has always been such a lovely place maybe we could just leave this thread to disappear now as its started to get a little heated?
    Just an idea image
  • Sorry Lisa if I've lowered the tone. I too love the Aug forum and the main contributing factor is how lovely the ladies are. Tried not to reply to this and even sat on my hands to stop myself but felt I had to say something. Call it the straw that broke the camel's back.... Sorry again but I hope you can understand my reasons. Consider my part now closed image

  • what a nasty comment Kirsty - I really expected more maturity from the Aug girls.
  • Dont beat yourself up about it hunny, these posts shouldnt be started in the first place, it bugs the life out of me.

    I dont mean this to sound difficult but this website and forum is here for support and advice about pregnancy, birth and looking after our lovley babies, not to start topics that doubt or put down other mummies ways and means of bringing up their babies.

    Sorry for the rant but it annoys me x

    Hi Newlook - never had any problems with you but just wanted to say - why reply to a thread that annoys you!

    I am interested to know why people choose to bf or not...if people feel guilty for not bfing that is not my fault. If people feel sad answering the topic or reading it - dont read it.

    I get the hint from you and Kirsty and I wont bother in future to share posts xx
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