Any ideas what on earth could be wrong with him?!

Hi girls,

were having an awful time with maxs sleep at the moment, he was down to one wake up at 4am but the past 2 nights he's woken at 9pm and will not settle at all, he'll sleep fitfully lying on me but the second you lie him back down he thrashes about, full on hysterics. Last night, we didn't want a repeat of the night before where I'd been awake all night with him lying on me so we set up camp next to his cot and he screamed for 2 and a half hours, nothing soothed him, he nodded off eventually only to wake an hour later! By 3am, we'd had enough so brought him into our bed and he slept on and off with his head on my back!

He's been poorly lately-ear infection, teething and swine flu jab but he's better now. He's struggling to settle in nursery so I wonder if this is all behavioural and he's anxious, he's horribly whingy and clingy on and off through the day.

My other thought is some kind of food intolerance, he's wheezy and his nose is like a tap but maybe this is just a cold? Oh I don't know, I'm totally clutching at straws. We just don't know how to handle it, I know it's a bad idea to bring him straight in with us but I can't do what we did last night again, we all need some sleep!

Any thoughts? Xx

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  • Aw, hun! I am so sorry you are struggling with his sleep still! I don't have any advice to offer, I'm afraid, but I don't think it is a food intolerance, unless you have just introduced something new recently. Peter's nose is tap-like and he wheezes and snores like anything, but I'm pretty sure his is just a cold.

    Anyway, in an attempt to make you smile, Peter's newest trick is to only poo once a day, either in the bath (daddy loves that!) or so explosively that he needs a bath! He is having prunes with every meal but it doesn't seem to help! Oh, the joys of babyhood, eh?

    Seriously, though, I hope you all get a bit more sleep. My guess would be that if he hasn't been too well and is still struggling to settle at nursery, any little thing off with him is going to disturb him and make him difficult to resettle. I wish I had a practical suggestion, but all I can offer is sympathy, I'm afraid.
  • Thanks THG, that did make me giggle-boys will be boys! Do you think it's really silly of us to pander to him and let him sleep in with us all night? Were just at a total loss, tough love doesn't work, sitting next to hiscot doesn't work, I'm thinking that if this is a phase and is caused by anxiety then leaving him to cry all night (which is what happens if we don't bring him in) is going to make him so much worse. Gah, I could really do without all this at the moment-I'm having a flare up of my crohns and HAVE to get back to work this week. He's just so strong willed, sleep is a constant battle that we just can't win, I think I'm ready to give up and let him do whatever the hell he wants and he's still on the bloody boob!!!

    Thanks for letting me rant! Xx
  • Rant away, hun! It sounds as if you are having a tough time all around so feel free to get it all out on here!

    No, I don't think its silly of you to take him in with you. At some point you need sleep just to keep functioning. Every baby is different, so you do what you need to do. You had him down to one feed a night so I am sure that this is just a phase and you will figure out how to get him back in his own bed once he has grown out of the waking, I know you will.

    As for still breastfeeding, I've just got back from the States where two of my cousins are still breastfeeding their little girls overnight, at 18 and 21 months respectively. So you are not alone, I promise!
  • This just gets better-it seems I'm having a reaction to my meds, my hands have ballooned and legs are covered in hives-sexy! Just waiting for the doctor to phone, I'm now wondering if the increased dose is upsetting max through my milk, I'm not going to feed him today-see what happens. There's always something isn't there!xx
  • Oh, you poor, poor thing! I have that reaction to amoxycillin, really uncomfortable. I hope your doctor rings soon and you get it sorted. And hopefully the increased dose is what has been upsetting Max and you can sort the sleep issue out at the same time! Gentle hugs to you both.
  • Oh Pbob i do have symphathy for you..Erin-Beth sounds exactly the same (again lol) she is back to waking 2 sometimes 3 times a nite and screaming, we have tried to leave her to settle but then she coughs so much shes sick and she has been ill for over 6wks (less a few good days). I am back at work but OH is off and is dealing with the nites and he has just been bringing her into us...at least she sleeps and we get some much needed sleep, she hasnt increased her daytime nap despite her constant waking.
    OH took her to clinic this week, she had to go due to weight loss and he told her about lack of sleep, contant colds, unsettledness etc etc..and she did say that there is sooo much sickness going around and their immune systems are low whilst ill and teething so they will just catch everything and it does disrupt them all round...she also told him that they do naturally get a bit more clingy and wary at this age and it is just phase!

    so im afraid again no advice to offer but can understand how ur feeling, and its certainly made me feel a bit better knowing that im not alone with a waking clingy sick baby!! only thing i can say is just get some rest wen u can...and i do hope that ur medication is getting sorted

    Hugs xxx
  • Thanks girls, that's malakin-that's made me feel alot better, it's just hard when you don't know what to do! He's gone to bed with no booby, he actually drank a fair amount of cows milk from his beaker. He's been loads happier today, I'm definately allergic to my meds so have to come off them and I'm scared to feed him while it's still in my system so we'll see what tomorrow brings. Thanks again-I hope Erin -Beth gets back to her cheery self soon and fingers crossed Peter stops pooing in the bath -dirty boy! Xx
  • Hey just me, yeah we had a moment with bella last week, she woke up two nights on the trot for about an hour crying, and in the end it was just her teeth, shes had four come through in the space of ten days. I would try the usual calpol, ibruprofen, also ive been giving bella milk of magnesium, one coz ive changed her to cows milk and she was a little bit consitpated, but only maybe giving her 2mls, your not meant to but hey......also i think milk was getting an issue as bella was waking up at like 6am and it was doing my head in, but shes settled back down, sometimes she goes past 9 very rarely tho......also at nursery we've noticed coz they always go awwwwwwwwwww.....it really upsets bella as if something wrong and i think she gets a bit scared so no one can go awwwwwwwww at the min or the bottom lip comes out,,, so weve been struggling to leave her at nursery coz shes just been going mad lol. but ok ten mins later......pbob i hope you get sorted im sure max will settle, unfortunately the just letting them cry seems to work, i would never of thought so and i was a bugger with bella in our bed, but now shes got it in her head.....that when she goes down its bedtime.....fingers crossed..xxxxx
  • Thanks loz, we had another bad night with him last night-I just think we've got an awful lot going on at the moment so hopfully he'll just settle with time. I'm feeling loads better today and went back to work which I'm so relieved about and max had a great time at nursery-he ate his snack and dinner and had a nap there. When I went in to collect him he was totally engrossed in his game and they said he'd been exploring the room rather than just sitting on the nursery nurses knee so he's really made progress and he was there for 6 hours! Very proud mummy !!

    His milks deffo an issue, I'm trying to drop his day feeds but he's not drinking enough cows milk to compensate and this afternoon he was so upset, pulling at my top so I fed him and he was happy as larry afterwards. So, I'm going to carry on feeding as normal until nursery and his sleep is settled.

    We tried leaving him to cry again last night, we pop in every 10mins but he just doesn't stop, you get to half an hour, an hour, it's even gone on for 2hours-he's got no off button as is far stronger willed than I am! My plan tonight is to go straight to him and stay by his cot to reassure him, if that doesn't help then he can just come into our bed again, it's big enough for a little wriggly one, I just know we shouldn't do it and were reinforcing the crying.

    Anyway, it's good to have a ramble, thanks again girls xx
  • Hi!

    Has Max just started Nursery? If he has, Daisy-Mae was like this when she started nursery. My HV said it was some sort of separation anxiety. You guys all know how great Daisy is at sleeping and this was a real shock to the system.

    I was dead against any form of controlled crying, but in the end we had to give in. It was hard and I didn't do a really harsh version of it, but once I knew she had everything she needed, I would leave her for about 6 mins, then back in for cuddle and calm down and repeat. Mostly, it was less than 10 mins, but horrible to hear nevertheless!

    If it was too hard, I would take her into our room and lie on the bed, stroking her until she was deeply into her sleep pattern. I loved this if I'm honest and did this far more than I did the CC -bad mummy! Lying her on the bed was better for calming her down than lying on me - although I spent hours getting kicked and punched in the face, plus getting my hair yanked out!

    I wouldn't mess about with his feeds etc at the moment - he's got so much going on at the moment that it'll be too much for him! My HV again said not to worry about changing the milk at 12 months on the dot - do it when it feels right, which is what we've done!

    Sending lots of hugs and hope it gets better soon
    C x
  • Thanks mrs b, yes he's been in nursery for over a month now, he was really unsettled but he's had a much better week there and didn't cry the whole time he was there on Friday, I'm so relieved that he's starting to like it.

    I'm not going to change his milk-I thought I had to stop bfing due to medication I may have been having to take but touchwood I'm doing ok without and even if I do have to stop it's not imminent so I'm going to carry on with his 3 feeds a day until he's settled.

    He only woke twice last night so he's definately getting better.

    Thanks for all your support girls, I really appreciate it, it's good to know this is all 'normal' especially as my mummy friends have never had any significant sleep problems with their babies , I automatically blame myself-I sometimes feel like where did I go so wrong with it all so it's good to know max isn't the only one not sleeping well and that it's just another phase xx
  • Hi Pixiebob,
    Freya was much more clingy when she first started with the childminder, it is such a big change for them. I took your approach and decided it was just a phase and so I dont' think there is any harm in bringing him into your bed. Once he realises Mummy is still there it'll get easier. The stopping breast feeding is so so hard - like Max Freya LOVES it. She only gets an afternoon feed 3 days a week when she is with me but she hsa been so upset with me because I've been trying to stop it. She is getting even more demanding about the remaining two feeds. I also want to stop those but I'm a bit scared about it. I think that you are right to keep it going a bit longer. Trying to stop the BF'ing just when he is settling into nursery must be hard on both of you. Freya is refusing any form of milk except breast milk at the moment. She'd take it before but now she is associating it with not being allowed a bf and so won't take it from anyone at anytime. I'm going to stop offering it to her until we've weaned her because I think she might be more likely to take it without the negative conatations, so it is LOTS of yogarts and cheese and a deep hope it is only a temporary refusal! xx
  • Hi ally,

    well you're right-it was a phase! He did his usual routine last night of only one wake up, I'm so relieved he's getting back to his old self-he's happy again, he's got his dimples back.

    I've now GOT to stop bfing in the next couple of weeks, i need to get back onto a medication I stopped when I got pregnant. I'm seeing the hv tomorrow for some 'advice', I'm anxious about maxs weight though-he's been off his food whilst poorly and he looks so thin, you can see his ribs and spine! He's had loads today though-porridge, toast, biscuit, roast beef dinner, sausage and mash and 2 yoghurt. Hopefully it'll continue and I can fatten him up abit! I'm lacing everything with butter, cream and cheese!

    He's really settled well in nursery now, he was a great time while he's there, that's another weight lifted! What a difference a week makes hey?!

    I'm also thinking the same about his milk-if there's no alternative he'll drink more cows milk, he does like the taste so hopefully that'll help. Let me know how you get on xx
  • Oh PB i wish I had logged on earlier to add my support. I never have anytime ever anymore! I have found this 1 hour change super frustrating as he will just not settle for at least an hour. I think its because the room is lighter even with a blackout blind. Since Jan he has ben waking up between 0430 and 0530 wide awake without a hint of going back to see even with a bottle so I have been exhausted with working full time. Nothing seems to break his pattern. I find that tapping his bottom or his chest helps to calm him. Hope things are better xx
  • dont worry about his weight (lol says me who stresses constantly about Erins!!) if he has been ill or out of sorts and not eating properly he will seem thinner but sounds like hes eating again now and will soon pile it on..Erin lost loads of weight wen she was ill and then put 2lb on in 2 weeks (shes not done that since she was a few weeks old)....she was 18lb 6 2 weeks ago and once again HV told me not to worry cos im small and she isnt gonna be a giant..shes in proportion and reaching "milestones" and yes i did give her extra biscuits and a few fatty things (bad mummy) but i really needed her to put some weight on so that I could have a day off stressing lol!!

    and not to tempt fate but she has slept thru for the last 2 nites........thats not happened since she was 18wks old!!!! she even had a coughing fit at 3am but settled herself and went back off no crying at all WOW WOW WOW!! thou i was outside her door waiting and crept in to make sure this is the start .

    Oh dear sorry rambling again..but stay strong, try not to stress and all will be ok, just may take a bit of time to get there and if u accept that then it makes it easier! xx
  • Aww, thanks littlep-sorry to hear your Los getting you up so early, it's so tough going to work on no sleep! I'm really hoping you get some lie-INS soon!

    Malakin, I'm trying not to worry about his weight-I just hate seeing him looking thin, babies are meant to be all chubby, I worry what they might think in nursery -I hope they don't think I'm not feeding him!

    I saw hv yesterday, she was lovely and reassured me that he's fine. I'm not convinced though as he's now dropped down to the 2nd centile-he weighs 18lbs 11! He was born on the 2nd and she said that's where he should naturally be. I'm still on a mission to fatten himup though! I had a feeling he'd dropped after such a bad few weeks . She also said it's fine for me to stop bfing but I'm going to give it another week as he's still not 100 percent, these damn teeth have alot to answer for! His nappies have been toxic the last couple of days!

    Thanks again girls, I really appreciate being able to off load here xx
  • Those darn teeth! There is always something isn't there??? I have now officially stopped the bedtime feed! I was going to tackle the morning one first, but last night Freya's Nanny and Granddad were here and she was having so much fun and didn't ask for her BF so I got her Daddy to take her upstairs and do the bedtime routine and down she went! We'll try the same thing tonight. Her nanny and Grandad are here for the next 3 nights, and the real test will when they have gone. But it is a start in the right direction. I so so hope it isn't going to be too traumatic for her. xx
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