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Do I just have the baby-blues?
Hi there... I gave birth to my little girl on March 5th after being induced. It was quite a traumatic birth as the epidural didn't work and I ended up tearing quite badly. I was also in labour for 17 hours. I didn't get any sleep for the first 72 hours and this, totalled with my stitches and sore boobs left me feeling really, really crappy. My lo is feeding fine and putting on weight. It's just that sometimes when I look at her I don't feel like I have a bond with her. When she cries I find myself getting really frustrated, and I feel guilty that I am not enjoying her like a new mum 'should' I am on my own pretty much all the time as my OH has just gone back to work and he works 13 hour days. He comes home around midnight when I have put Alex to bed and he wakes her up because he wants to play with her. I knew that having a baby was going to be hard, but I don't think I was as mentally prepeared as I should have been. Sometimes I have days when I just feel so lost and want to cry. I love my daughter so much, but I just feel constantly tired and stressed and I don't want this to affect the relationship I'm forming with her. Does anyone have any tips/suggestions to get me out of this rut?
Thanks. x
Thanks. x
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Replies
Secondly im sorry to hear you had a bad birth, have you spoke to anyone about how you feel? I know, i didnt feel that "immidiate love" with my daughter and didnt even love her for some time. I feel awful admitting that but thats how i felt. I hated it when she cried, hated getting up to feed her and one morning i slammed the door with her in the room and told hubby if he left for work i would die! I couldnt cope. I dont know how bad you feel at the moment as its hard to admit. I now love my daughter so much it really makes me ache. I never thought id feel like that for her but i do now after time and patience from hubby.
Have you any family that could give you a few hours off just to sleep? sometimes i find that alone helps. Have you family nearby to help during the day maybe once a week? xxx
don't be too hard on yourself and think that everyone else knows what they are doing coz they don't. i think it takes a while for you to get to know her properly and what she wants and you can see that you are doing a good job (honest, you are!)
does your o/h do the night feeds when he gets home? have you though about going along to a baby group to get out of the house and chat with other mums? ask your hv whats on in your area, getting out the house every day and making sure you take care of yourself are important when you are feeling low.
do you like your hv? i'm sure you could have a chat with her about how you are feeling, like a shoulder to cry on
hope your o.k hun, i'm here if you want to chat