10 Month Old! Help! Feeling really low and down

LJ1989 · Jul 29, 2019 11:10AM

For a fair few months now I've been feeling really low and down. I was trying to get help from my Doctors and they keel fobbing me off every time. Dad is hardly there and hasn't been from our Daughters birth. I went through an awful time with her being born early by C section as I had pre-ecclampsia. She was born very frail and small and every day I would be up and down the hospital supplying her my milk to give her the best start of survival for her. She was wired up to heart monitors for 6 weeks. It was a scary time. And still dad isn't helping me as much as I need him to be. We don't live together yet so its harder flicking from one home to the other. I am mainly with our daughter. I feel low isolated and anxious. It doesn't help I have mental health issues anyway but I get very frustrated easily with our daughter. She can be challenging and has tummy troubles constipation a lot and going through teething so finding it hard to cope. Me and her Father are on the rocks in our relationship because he hasn't stepped up to being a father like he should be and I'm getting very fed up. And I just feel trapped and have no idea what to do. I feel bad that I don't look forward to being with my child and only feel calm when she sleeps. I feel some days I don't want to attend to her. I do but I don't feel motivated and even tho I do her care needs I just hate being a mother

Sigsauer · Jul 29, 2019 12:12PM

Sounds like you having postnatal depression.if your GP is not helping have you tried to call your local Mental health clinic.
Has your baby's dad wanted a baby? How he was while you been pregnant?

LJ1989 · Jul 29, 2019 12:19PM

When he found out I was pregnant we never had that happy moment , he was worried and was angry at me. He didn't like that I was pregnant and we even had a discussion about if we were keeping her or not. We got upset about even talking about abortion and I didn't want that. Through the pregnancy he helped me loads and was happy seeing the scans and everything. From birth to about 3 months of age he helped me loads too. But now he has sort of backed off and leaves me to do most the parenting. He only does something using his own initiative when I get angry and start shouting and losing my temper. He works 4 dad a week and this week he working 6 days straight and only came down for 1 of those days. His excuse is buses and being late for work. All he cares about it going home and his sleep
The only help I get the most if off my mom and step dad and that's not fair.

Sigsauer · Jul 29, 2019 12:33PM

Does he supports you financially?

LJ1989 · Jul 29, 2019 12:37PM

He gives me £20 a week now for our daughter. I am a SAHM ATM so I do most the parenting but I feel he could be here more to help me.

LJ1989 · Jul 29, 2019 12:40PM

He never offers to have her at his house so I get a break and when I have told him I have to stay there until she sleeps for bedtime and be back early morning. How is that a break ? He hasn't had her overnight for a long time and keels putting it off. Our relationship is on The rocks I love him yes but if he doesn't step up I'm going to have to end things. I'm not Happy

Sigsauer · Jul 29, 2019 1:15PM

Tbh I think you expect too much from him. How I understood he is not over the moon about baby and as you said he never been. You gave a birth for a baby because you wanted it. It's your baby and you can't expect people to help you. Being a single mom is very hard and challenging. You will be tired,upset and anxious. obviously it's not what you wanted,but it's happened. Your depression based of high expectations for other people and this is something that don't depend on you. Stop thinking that he MUST help you just because he is biological dad. Stop expecting him to help and you understand that you are the one who looks after baby, and soon you will feel better.

10 Month Old! Help! Feeling really low and down

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