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How do i get him to stay dry and clean

Hi my son will be 4 in October and he's still not dry or clean has anyone got the magic answer to help me ?


  • Hello,

    I dont think there are any magic answers. What have you tried so far?

    Are you talking of a night or in the day?
  • I've tried bribary not sweets but let you watch this or you can do that if you go to the toliet first. I haven't started on the night time yet as he's not dry in the day. He weres pulll ups at night is that maybe where i'm going wrong ?

  • Hello,

    No I dont expect it matters much what he wears of a night, harry is still in pull ups - dry nite pj pants, I havent even tried to get him dry of a night yet - he is five in november.

    Harry has been dry during the day since about 2.5, however all children are different and some take longer than others.

    Do you use a pull up in the day?

    It can take some time and you ahve to be prepared for some accidents but this is what worked for us.

    I explained to him that he wasnt going to wear a nappy and when he needed a wee needed to use the potty, I always had the potty close by - in the same room as we were in. Wear as little as possible on the bottom half - so the summer days are great.... I had harry in a long t shirt and nothing on the bottoms when indoors or just pants or loose shorts.

    As soon as I asaw im starting to wee I got him on the potty and rewareded him for doing it, started iwth stickers, seeing how many he could get and then movedon to sweets - as the stickers soon lost thier appeal.

    I didnt tell him off for any accidnets as this can be detrimental,

    So for the first couple of days we stayed in doors, and he soon realised if he didnt get to the potty he would be wet, as soon as I saw him holding his "dinkle" or starting to wee I would get him on the pot and reward him. I also used to ask him, very, very frequently if he needed the loo, always get him to try and do a wee before getting in the car.

    About the third day we went out - I took with us the pottette travel potty so whereever we were we could stop for a wee, in the car or out and about, no trying to find a toilet and no waiting in the queue. He had the odd accident but mostly he got it right.

    I also used to time giving hiim drinks so not give a drink just before getting in the car.

    I never used a pull up in the day unless I knew he would be sleeping in the car, I used a mat you can buy for the buggy and the car seat so if he had an accident cleaning up not so bad.

    That way they dont get confused, they know if they need the loo they have to go on the toilet/potty or they will be wet.

    I started with a potty and later moved on to the toilet as it is less daunting.

    Be patient it can take time. Always take out spare clothes etc

    other people may have a different way around it but this worked for Harry and my nephew (and my childminder does it the same way succesfully)

    Good LUck!

    If things still dont work out after giving this a go it may be worth speaking to your gp just to check there isnt any issues,

    Dont worry about night time - that will come later.
  • Hi, I have a nearly 4 year old boy he has been dry day and night since just after he turned three, but for ages it was a nightmare, we knew he was capable of staying dry and it just wasn't happening. We found this helped: firstly we did day and night all together, he seemed to be getting confused that he could wee in his nappy at night but he had to use the loo in the day. At night we started by putting a potty (on a waterproof mat) closes to his bed and encouraged him to use it the moment he woke up. He has a 'proper rubber' waterproof sheet on his bed and only a single fitted sheet on top, if there is an accident, you only need to strip the bottom sheet, wipe the waterproof one, pop on a fresh and sorted.

    During the day we tried everything. Don't use pull ups, or 'training pants' we found they made him over safe and he just weed in them repeatedly. A friend suggested two things and this was what did it.

    Firstly, no pants, just trousers

    Secondly teach him how to use a big toilet, without a training seat (skin and fingers get trapped) it only takes a couple of times and they learn to balance really well.

    It took all of a week and he was dry, day and night, after a few weeks we reintroduced pants and slowly got him using the toilet the moment he woke up rather than the potty.

    We have set times to go to the loo, when we get up, before going out and generally before a meal and of course just before bed.

    What charmaine says in the above post about the mats you can buy for car seats, we used those although he never actually had an accident in the car!

    We used star stickers on a chart at the end of the day to reinforce a good day and ignored bad days. After a few weeks of using the toilet we had a nappy and potty throwing out session, he threw everything in a black sack and we took it outside and out it in the bin.

    I got cross, I got frustrated, nothing worked until this, perhaps he was just ready and hadn't been before
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