Announcing pregnancy to step kids
Tonight we're going to tell my 6 year old step daughter that we're expecting. I'm 99% sure she'll be fine with it, shes been asking for a brother from us for ages so i think she'll be happy but you never know which way it'll go.
Anyone with step kids - how did they react?
We're pretending shes the first person we've told so we'll go over to my parents after we tell her this evening and she'll announce it to them and share the good news which I think will help, and along the pregnancy I'll include her as much as possible, she'll make it a bear at the bear factory, come with us to a 3d scan later in the pregnancy, we're going to ask the sonographer to put the details of boy/girl in an envelope and take it home so we can all find out together the gender. I think as long as shes included we'll be fine. Obviously I'm not going to force it, i think she'd love to be included as it didnt happen when her mum was pregnant but if she doesnt want to be then thats fine. I think as long as shes still getting all of our attention when she needs it and theres not too much baby talk she'll be ok. just re-read this - can you tell i'm scared? haha, she means the world for me and I just really dont want her to ever feel left out or isolated.
Replies
My step kids were fine about it (they were 7 and 3.5 at the time), as was my son (also 7 at the time).
We never made a big deal of "oohh, you're going to have a baby brother", we just told them all there was going to be a new baby, and left it at that.
I think you will take your cues from her. If she's a bit 'meh' and more interested in other things then you'll maybe not 'push' it so much. If she seems at all insecure you'll reassure her and remind her of how important she is and her 'new role' and if she's squealy and excited and hyper then there's lots to talk to her about and get her involved in. I bet she's over the moon!!
Like the others said, It sounds great, but take her lead, don't force it. She may be quite uninterested until later on; I know my niece was.
Also, I'd caution against taking children to scans. In fact, our hospital doesn't allow children to be present. It's a medical procedure requireing concentration from the sonographer; not a family day out. How would you feel if, God forbid, there were bad news? that's a step too far for me.
I don’t think there is any problem taking a child to a private 3D scan, I assumed this is what the OP means?
It all sounds lovely, I agree with the others, go with however she seems. What Counter said basically.
That's a lovely plan! I am expecting in February and I have a 4 year old daughter and my partner has a 3 year old son. We told them together and they were very excited about the news. This Christmas although it won't be born I was going to get them a little present each from 'the bump', and take them shopping to get it a little present, even thoug it can't have them until February... I thought it might help with the bonding thing before it's born!
Thanks for all your responses - it went beyond well. She was so excited, she's started writing down baby names and getting a list of faves (you know, like mock, and bolene?????) and she put her hand on my belly and said can I feel it kick? To which I explained it's not really strong enough yet for us to feel it. She really wanted a brother last night but this morning she said she thinks it's a girl because the baby's low down in my belly.
Ahh, I'm glad it went well. I bet you're so happy now.
Really cute!! That's lovely