How has your partner reacted to the birth of your baby?

I'm interested to know if any of you have found your partner's reaction to the birth of your child easy/difficult etc. I think my husband is finding it quite difficult and that in itself is quite upsetting.

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  • Sorry to hear that. Do you mean he has reacted badly to the actual process of birth, or that he is finding it difficult having a newborn?

  • I think it is money worries coupled with tiredness which isn't helping matters. I am probably being overly sensitive and of course he loves the baby, but he just doesn't seem 'happy' if that makes sense.

  • Oh big hugs. I imagine it's quite common, especially as men tend to feel the pressure to "provide" for their family. How old is your baby? Is he back at work yet? My H reacted really badly to the tiredness, he could barely cope whereas as a woman and especially if breastfeeding you just HAVE to get on with it. I used to let him sleep between midnight and 6am and then make him come down and help me at the point I needed it most.

  • My h is still struggling one year on. I had a traumatic birth and we went then kept in hospital and he hasn't really recovered from the stress and trauma of that. He's also struggled to adjust to the change in our life from having a baby and someone else yo think of etc

    I do think some men find it really hard and it's not easy for them to talk about.

    How old is your lo? Try talking to him about it to see if it helps him to vocalise. Hope things improve for you soonx

  • H didn't do well with the labour process, and he really struggled with adjusting to baby, so you're not alone. The best thing I can suggest is talk. Always talk through how you are feeling. It's how H and I got through a particularly bleak few months where we weren't sure we were going to make it.

  • Sorry to hear you're feeling like this. I think my H has found it hard adjusting to the level of responsiblity that comes with being a father. Even now (my eldest is 18 months) I still find myself having to say to him - no, you've got 2 kids now (and then feel like an evil witch for it!) I think it must come harder for men as our hormones are switched on to being a mum whereas its more of a learning process for them? Don't get me wrong, my H loves our girls to death and would do anything for them but me and him are just very different in our approaches.

  • I think my H finds it hard too. He loves the fun stuff, like making S giggle and he also enjoys sorting out the practicalities like nappy changing etc but he finds it hard when he comes home from work and can't just kick back and relax. Now S is more settled its better but like tonight, S hadn't really napped during the day so was cranky. i was trying to grt him to sleep with the white noise on so we couldn't watch TV and H had a really stressful day at work he just said to me 'wow did you really think our lives would be like this?'. I felt like shouting 'what did you think life would be like?'. I think they find it hard to adjust. As RKB said, make sure you keep talking. Sorry you're having a tough time with H and your LO, it will get easier I promise x

  • we had a difficult start with our son Luke and my husband is a planner by nature so found the out of control situation very hard. he read lots of information about our son's condition. I know this is quite specific to our situation but if your husband is also a planner by nature then he might enjoy reading some general books about fatherhood/baby care.  My husband had bought this one in preparation for our baby being born. www.amazon.co.uk/.../1845330935

  • My H had 2 kids with his ex, so when we had J, he adjusted well as he had already been through it.

    He knew what to expect, so was prepared for disturbed sleep etc. The only thing he found hard, was when he had to work away from home, and missed alot of J's baby days.

  • Thanks for all your replies. It's good to know it isn't just me! He's been much more upbeat today after a goodnight's sleep.

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