Larger Age Gaps

sorry, not ventured over here for ages but I am back with lots of questions!

I have two girls aged 15 and nearly 4 and we are thingking of trying again next year for another baby.  I am established at work with good maternity pay and my PCOS/weight is getting more under control by the day so I am thinking next year is make or break in terms of trying (I will be 37 in May)

Do you think we are mad having these age gaps?  part of me thinks it works well with my girls being different ages because they both get individual attention plus there is no arguing about possessions etc.  But I long for my little one to have a sibling, she gets very lonely when my eldest is not around and she is so loving it makes me sad as she loves being around other children.

this plus I have been broody since I gave birth Laugh

Are we mental?


  • I'm 37 and my son will be 17 when baby is born, so totally a generation apart. I'm sad about my son being a (l)only child but he seems fine. And he's excited about a new baby.

    But that experience with my son means I am DESPERATE not to have another only child, and not to have a large gap. Even though the thought of trying again (even if everything goes well for us now) makes me feel quite unwell, I would prefer no more than 2 years between babies.

    There was 5 years between my sister and I, I loved her dearly but she was a little cow to have around. I moved out at 18 so we were never at the same stage in life and we didn't share experiences. We aren't at all close, though that's because we are very different personalities not due to the age gap. I think your youngest girl will be a nice age for a new baby, old enough to understand practical things but young enough for it to be magical.  :D

  • I have friends with four or five year age gaps between their two children. A four/five year age gap is a still a gap and when they are little they will be at different life stages but that's no bad thing because it does give you a bit more space. What is quite sad is when the younger sibling wants to join in with the older sibling and their friends but - being only a toddler themselves - they are mostly excluded by the older children. You've got to be quite a generous older sibling to willingly include a 2/3 year old in a 6 year old's games all the time.

    I don't think that you can guarantee that siblings, whatever the age gap, will get on with each other. But in these examples, both siblings show affection and kindness to the younger child. I don't think you're mental for wanting another one.

  • We will have an almost four year age gap, not what we'd planned (wanted smaller) but life didn't work like that. There is three years between me and my sis and we are incredibly close, I think a lot of that is down to sharing a room as we grew up rather than age. I'm like you, can't wait for the next baby as M is amazingly caring and loving with younger children and babies and I think she will be a fantastic big sister. I'd say go for it

    If its not too nosey can I ask why you want to wait? Tell me to mind my own!

  • I have a 7.5 yr gap. It worked really well, as C was old enough to understand everything. He was at school, so I got plenty of 1 to 1 time with baby, and he was old enough to help out.

    He plays with his brother, and is a fab role model for J. C teaches J new things every day. Considering there is over 7 yrs between them, they are SO close.

  • Thank you for the responses, it is good to know what others experiences are, my eldest was 11 when her sister was born and she was a dream with her and they are now very very close which does fill me with confidence that we would find the balance if we had another one.  

    Weekender - of course I dont mind!  molly took 6 years to concieve but that included being diagnosed with PCOS which is now under control.  I am not allowed to try until the beginning of 2014 due to having an operation this year.  I have also suffered with a blood clot on my lungs so I need extra medical care and for that I need to lose as much weight as possible, I have lost 5 stone and have another 5/6 to go

  • There is 15 months between my 2 elder brothers and they are chalk and cheese, they don't really get a long. Between them and me is 16 years!

    When I was younger I had a great relationship with one and a not so great one with the other. This developed over time. Now we are quite a close family.

    You never know how the relationships are going to form between siblings. I don;t think your mental at all!

  • I have 7years between me and my brother and as you know there wlll be 6 with my 2.I think your girls would love it and as you say m is so loving.wish is was only 36!!

  • There are just over 5yrs between my 2. I agree with what Cider said about 6yr old not want toddler cramping style, and it is getting worse as they get older (now 8.5 and 3.5yrs). I never really thought about things like days out, what one finds exciting the other doesn't. We went to a theme park in the summer I wanted to go on the rides with his big sister and couldn't because he wasn't big enough, we ended up having to split up to keep them both amused.

  • Eeek! Exciting news.

    You know all age gaps have their pros and cons.

    We have 4 yr 4m between ours and its lovely.

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