Other people's parenting styles.... (contentious ?)
My sister parents very, very differently to how I did/do. There's a few years between our boys, and their personalities couldn't be more different but I find her style really difficult to be around.
As much as I am disparaging about my mum (in general, lol, we're very different) I lean towards her style in a no-nonsense "oh dear, you fell over, nothing's broken, up you get then", "sorry you don't want to do x/y/z but that's what we're doing I'm today, I'm afraid", "I told you one more time and you'd go to your room, off you go".
Whereas my sister seems (imo) to mollycoddle. She seems to need to be needed, IYSWIM. When my boy was growing up I wanted him not to need me, if that makes sense. Perhaps it's because mine was shy and needed bringing out and hers is a little 'crazy' (he's super lovable but volatile and diagnosed with mild autism) and needs reigning in.
I hear things she says to him that really worry me. He was a bit quieter than usual with me one day and when I mentioned it she said to him "oh no, have you been worrying again?" and then went on to tell me, in front of him, how much he worries. With my son I could pretty much 'tell' him he wasn't worried and hey presto, he then wasn't, not really. My nephew loves my dog and is bold as brass, but my sister, in front of him, tells me how scared he is and makes dramatic noises when they play together.
Then there's food issues, and they built my poor mum up to be The Punishment for being naughty for so long he refused to visit her alone for ages.
My sis and I know most of the same people so I tend not to talk to mates about this, but I do worry and my husband and I feel like things are getting worse not better. But who are we to say 'worse/better'? It's just our call on it because it's not how we'd operate. So I feel a little bad posting but I would love to hear other people's views/feedback or experience if you've been in a similar position. I don't chat to mum, even though I know she feels the same, because I don't want her to feel she's picking sides and because she has the tact of Simon Cowell....