Please recommend me a toddler parenting book!

B will be one in a few months and I realised that I have a couple of books guiding us through the first year but that's it. I know nothing further and have zero baby/child experience. Gulp! So a real dummies' guide might be good, not just a problem-smoothing manual. Is there such a thing and can you suggest a good 'un?

Thanks :-)

Posts

  • Oh I'll watch this with interest!

  • Oh dear furmummy, it looks like we'll have to wing it! Good luck!

  • "winging it" is what parents did for YEARS before there were books on how to raise your kids.

    You'll be fine.

  • I've heard  a fair few people talk about 'The Contented Little Baby' although I'm inclined to agree with AK, I've read so much stuff that it's send my head into a spin.  I figure I'll do what I feel is best unless I encounter real problems then source some info!  

  • I agree with AK. Go with your gut instinct. So many books/professionals offer conflicting advice it will stress you out more. You'll be fine x
  • Fair comments and similar had crossed my mind. It's just that as I'm going the SAHM route and won't have knowledgeable people to point her in the right direction at nursery or whatever, coupled with the fact that I'm riddled with self doubt at the best of times, I fancied some backup! Hey-ho, you're probably right and all will be well. Thanks.

  • There's a "What to Expect" book for toddlers, I've not read it, so don't know if it's useful though. Or just ask on here if you have any issues - it's where I get most of my parenting tips from!

  • I'm with you, I enjoy reading parenting books/articles. That's not to say I follow any like gospel but whether I agree or disagree with them, I find it interesting to read. I can then feel more secure in my decisions. But that's just me.

    Do you have any kind of general parenting 'style'? We generally go down quite a baby-led approach, still breastfeeding at 1+, still currently cosleeping, use a sling etc. I've been recommended a few books by likeminded parents, including "Toddlercalm" by Sarah Ockwell-Smith, "Why Love Matters" by Sue Gerhardt, the Sears' "Attachment Parenting Book" and "Our Babies, Ourselves" by Meredith Small (this apparently gets quite technical and scientific). I haven't yet bought any but plan to soon.

  • Gopher

    Fair comments and similar had crossed my mind. It's just that as I'm going the SAHM route and won't have knowledgeable people to point her in the right direction at nursery or whatever, coupled with the fact that I'm riddled with self doubt at the best of times, I fancied some backup! Hey-ho, you're probably right and all will be well. Thanks.

    I understand that. I had my first at 18, had NO CLUE what to do with a baby/toddler. Somehow, he survived, and is now 10.

    You really shouldn't doubt yourself. 

  • I will check out the books suggested, thanks. Also I must  try to trust my abilities AK, you're right. Saisi I don't have a parenting style as such, although I'm on the soft side. I just like to be informed and take or leave advice as suits. I'm more pondering the daft stuff like when to toilet train (only an example)... so as I don't have friends or family with kids I will indeed no doubt clog the forum with my idiocy in future!

  • There's lots of things people didn't have, and survived, including parenting forums such as these. It doesn't mean they're not helpful and useful now that they are here though! Not that I find much time to read my baby book, I really enjoy it when I do, and likewise the books I've read on weaning and sleep (or lack of...) have been very interesting and informative.

    I'm going down the sahm route too, and I was reading on the NHS the other day that babies need at least an hours structured activity per day from 12m, which I'm sure they would get at nursery. I however, haven't got a scoobie! I like the current book I have, What to Expect in the first year, so if there is a toddler book I might get that.

  • I used to be a nursery nurse but its totally different when its your own. I honestly feel like I don't have a clue and I'm definitely winging it day after day! I read the baby whisperer books when I had E but they made me feel like I was doing everything wrong and was a complete failure! I know they've been a help to others though. I know Jo Frost/super nanny has some books too but I haven't read them so I don't Know what they're like. Before I had kids I used to watch her shows and think she was the business but now I have babies there's no way I could sit outside their bedroom door and hear them crying and calling for me for hours! I've heard the gina ford potty training book is supposed to be good too but again I haven't actually read it myself! Sorry, not really much help am I?! I'm very much like you in that I doubt and second guess myself but I have no doubt you are doing an amazing job x

  • Thank you for your replies, glad I'm not the only one wobbling a bit! I already feel a failure for not doing swimming,  baby sensory,  signing, blah blah :-p

  • Do trust your instincts. But I also found Tanya Byron's 'Your toddler' (or something like that) useful. This was very helpful at looking at stages of development and what is going on inside their heads, what they can be capable of developmentally and what is beyond them. Like when they start to develop an understanding of waiting, of not doing things just because they want to.

    And 'Toddler Taming' by Christopher Green. I didn't necessarily agree with all his approaches but his key point is that toddlers just want your attention. If they can't get it for good behaviour they will aim for bad behaviour instead. And if you remember this point then you will be a long way to understanding what is going on. He is also very good on reasoning and why you need to keep things simple with young children. 

    A lot of it is child led in the end - when to potty train for example. You soon learn that its absolutely pointless trying to train a child who is not in the mood to co-operate Laugh

  • Thanks for the recs Cedar, they sound really interesting.

    Gopher - When is B one? I remember being in B&Q, heavily pregnant when I got your email, as your last minute pp telling me she'd arrived! I can't believe our little bambinos will be a year old in the next few months, exciting but unbelievable!

  • Lamby- B will be 1 in May, time flies. Hope S is well and not had any more food flare-ups, and also that SS/nap issues are a distant memory now!

  • Cedar- thank you, very helpful, I will investigate!

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