HELP 😫 Pregnant And partner left me
I don't know if I am putting this in the right place so firstly, my apologies.
my partner and I earlier this year decided we would 'see what happens' so not tying for a baby but if it happened so be it... i already have three children from a previous relationship so on several occasions asked if I should go back on the pill if he wasn't sure, granted, he sometimes said that he didn't know if it would be too soon and he would feel more prepared in say a years tome, but he never said he wanted me to go back on birth control when I brought it up. I told him at the time I didn't want to end up a single mum and that i  think i could have a termination.
fast forward a few months and I find out I'm pregnant... he was quiet but said he was happy just a bit anxious. I asked over and over if everything was ok, I was scared I'd have to do it alone and suggested at one point I'd rather consider abortion than risk losing him... again he assured me we would make it work but he just felt it wasn't the right time.Â
However... 2 weeks later he is different with me, distant and always making excuses to be out of the house. He eventually says it's because I know how he feels and chose to keep the baby and he isn't ready (he's 36!).
anyway the last Few days I've been askin if something is wrong he says no and that he just likes time alone and my Constant questioning is the problem. However... I found out he's been on dating sites (he cheated on me before doing this but we worked at it And he promised he couldn't risk losing me again).
anyhow ive conFronted him tonight and he refused to talk, said he would move out and it's not been right for ages and I know it?? I've packed his stuff and He has just gone like that?!
im absolutely devastated. I dont know what to think or feel. I don't want to be a single mum.. plus I'm just getting my life back as my children are nearly in secondary school... it will be a massive financial strain on my own. However, at the same time I don't know how I could terminate? A few people already know plus i feel bad even considering it. I know it's over so I wouldn't be doing it for him.Â
He says he does love me but thats crap... how can someone love you and do this.. he hasn't even said sorry once?
im sorry for the long post I'm just extremely upset and scared. I've had depression in the past and I'm worried I'm going to hit a downward spiral.
please help me rationalise things.... what should I do? 😢😢😢😢😢
Replies
That was meant to say I told him I DIDNT think I could have a termination
Hello BrokenButterfly - and welcome to MadeForMums.
We're so sorry to hear about your situation. What a shock for you.
Is there anyone - friends or family - you can talk to?
Thanks for your reply. My mother knows about the pregnancy and a couple of work colleagues (boss included) but don't feel I can talk things through firstly as I'll feel 'judged' and secondly I feel so ashamed at what's happened. I just don't know what to do. I can't think straight and keep shivering
No one will judge you - and you've nothing to be ashamed of.
Hundreds of women have face - and are facing - what you're facing now. It's horrible and  unfair and difficult. But, like them, you will cope - whatever you decide to do.
Talk to your mum. It will help you sort out all those thoughts that are stuck in your head.
Wishing you all the best.
I found out I was pregnant a couple of weeks ago.. I was so excited and jumping for joy I already have a son who is four to a previous relationship  and my husband has 3 daughters to a previous relationship also. This will be our first baby together. When I told him I was expecting his reaction to be like mine but he has been so negative about the fact I am pregnant. He said to me last night that it's my fault I'm pregnant and he wishes we would of waited 5 years to have a baby. Silly me forgot I got myself pregnant didn't I? He new full well I wasent on any contraception and it didn't stop him sleeping with me he new I'd get pregnant at some point. He's really upset me being so negative. Although my baby is only a few cells at the moment (6 weeks) I feel a bond with it already and I'm getting upset that it's own dad is resenting it.Â
so sorry to hear this, that must be really hard! take faith from this forum im new here but i love some of the topics i have found and its all so interesting to relate to other people.
i wish you all the best in your future, everything happens for a reason x