Pro's & Con's of finding out the sex - plz. xx

lisa1808 · Jun 30, 2008 7:59AM

Hey lovely ladies. I've got my 20wk scan in just over a week and need your help!! My hubby wants to know the sex of the baby where as im undecided, one minute i think i want to know then the next minute i think i've been through sooo much for this baby a surprise would be lovely. please can you tell me either pro's and con's of knowing or why/how you made your decision. thanks. xxx

xx-stephd-xx · Jun 27, 2008 2:46PM

Hiya! well personally i wanted to know because i believe u can plan more in advance. I have seen neutral baby clothes etc, and I just dont think that a girl would suit some of the clothing as its more boyish and the other way around. Its enitely your decision tho, but now i know im having a girl, i have found the whole baby situation alot easier!! xxx

LYNNI · Jun 27, 2008 2:47PM

We made our decision on not finding out because we didn't want to be set up for a disapointment if baby was in the wrong position, and as it was sprog had their legs crossed on Wednesday!!

Another con for me, not knowing I think is something that will help keep me motivated in labour - bit like knowing your christmas pressents before christmas day!!!

One more hubby wants to be the one who tells me what we've had when (hopefully) sprog is delivered straight onto my chest

lilylou · Jun 27, 2008 2:49PM

Hi there,

Me and oh decided to find out the sex as we were too impatient to wait and were told 100% so dont need to worry about mistakes etc. The pros i think are: being able to buy more than just neutral and can decorate room etc, being able to connect more with bump.

Cons: people constantly asking what the sex is!!! We are keeping a secret from other people and its a nightmare lol; missing out on the surprise after a long labour; mistakes being made (rare now).

I would have loved to wait for a surprise but i just couldnt and at our scan it was really obvious it was a boy anyway. Good luck with the decision! xxx

Cally2 · Jun 27, 2008 2:56PM

I really want to know, husband doesn't, but will go with my decision. I am a planner, I like to know what's going to happen and when and I would LOVE to be able to say he or she rather than it when I talk about the baby. I figure, giving birth will be momentous enough as it is without the addition of finding out the sex. I think whatever you decide is fine though, it's a personal decision and you have to do what sits best with you not what other people suggest. xx
16 weeks today!

speckle · Jun 27, 2008 3:03PM

I've found out with both of mine and i personally think that it makes it alot more special to be able to say he or she rather than it or the baby. It was really nice when i was in labour as well, i remember my oh shouting i can see my sons head! which was lovely x

jellyfishpink · Jun 27, 2008 3:04PM

We didn't find out and we still chose not to find out at our 4Dscan! We just want a surprise.

Louise.

Louise_N · Jun 27, 2008 3:17PM

We didn't want to find out as we wanted it to be a surprise. Everyone is different though. My SIL found out with her last wee boy and is 25 weeks pregnant now with another boy and she said she would always find out as she doesn't think it makes a difference.

MummyX5 · Jun 27, 2008 3:50PM

We have found out with all of ours - I'm a planner.....ok, I'm a nosey cow too hehehehe Seriously thou, we both wanted to know as we knew although family and friends would get us pressies etc, (this was more-so with the 1st than subsequent), they were as strapped for cash as we were and as much as I like white on newborns I wanted to have specific stuff too. With the later pregnancies it was nice to be able to get the kids prepared for a brother or sister.

hushpuppy · Jun 27, 2008 3:51PM

We didn't find out - my oh wanted to but I didn't. I really wanted a girl and had the scan told me it was a boy I know I would have been disappointed but I figured that after however many hours of labour I wouldn't be as disappointed! As it happened, she was a girl anyway!
xx

CarolynB3 · Jun 27, 2008 4:14PM

I have 2 girls and a boy already, so really dont mind what the sex is, but would just like to get organised...so if it is a boy I can start to sell some of my pink stuff and get blue stuff...

So basically as far as I am concerned pros are to enable yourself to get organised...cons are that there is no surprise!

C.x

princessjane1983 · Jun 27, 2008 4:19PM

I really wanted to find out!! i really wanted a girl but i thought that if i found out i was having a boy then i'd have ages to get use to it. and i knew if i was having a girl hen i'd want to decorate the nursery like a fairytale princess room.i also kept going into baby shops and seeing all the cute outfits for wither girl or boy and i just wanted to buy one!! anyway we found out i am having a girl so i've got the princess room lol.
princess+millie 31 xxx

SRM · Jun 27, 2008 5:44PM

I agree with Sammy 117. It's best you find out if you have any secret hopes about what you want. My first time I didn't want to know but I was so sure it was a girl. I really wanted my first to be a girl and felt the whole instict thing. Then I met a friend at a party who asked me if I knew and I told her no, but I had a feeling. She said, well, you should find out coz if it's a boy, you don't want to be disappointed. I did find out, it was a girl and now that I've given birth (twice) I know that a baby can not be disappointing, no matter what it is, but I guess it helps to be prepared if you badly want either sex.
Second time around, I didn't care about the sex of the baby. I had high BP throughout and just really wanted a healthy, happy baby. We had a boy and he's adorable!

bride-carly-barleyx · Jun 28, 2008 9:36AM

We didnt find out but I kind of wish we had! I will love this baby whatever but I am secretly hoping for another little girl! I would be just as happy with a little boy I'm sure but I just think if I;d found out the sex I could of got used to the idea of having a boy (I'm convinced it is one). But at the same time I'm pleased I dont know because when I have the baby its something to tell people rather then "Yep, he/she is here".
But it is nice to be able to buy pink or blue with the choice of unisex clothes being so limited. My husband didnt want to know so therefore I wasnt allowed to know lol. But not long to go now!
xxx

Lil-Betty-Boop · Jun 28, 2008 11:50AM

Well my hubby wanted to know but i wasnt bothered so we found out.

Pros: she is no longer an it - its great to call my bump by her name, I have a gorgeous lilac nursery with drawers full of pink clothes. If we hadnt found out i know i would have made dh redecorate a cream nursery! Also know for sure she is a she as we had a 4d scan too. I also love telling people we are having a girl.

Cons - Personally dont think there are for us. The thought of seeing my little girl will motivate me through labour.

I have never been good at surprises though. Me and dh always end up giving each other xmas pressies early.

JERoberts · Jun 28, 2008 1:38PM

My friend found out with both of hers and said she was such a planner she would have stressed to the hilt if if she didn't know what she was having! I don't feel strongly either way at the moment, but our district has a no naming sex policy. i quite like the idea of having a surprise and i'm just so happy to be expecting a baby that i don't care

d1ydiva · Jun 29, 2008 5:51PM

The pro's for me were only having to think of one name and being able to buy lots of girly things. I think I bonded better with her aswell because I thought of my bump as my daughter, rather than a baby who could be my son or daughter!! Hope that makes sense....
On the cons side. Does your partner have any particular desire for either sex? Within a week or so of finding out I was carrying a daughter, the biological father left me as he wanted a son!!! Lol

Hollys_mummy · Jun 30, 2008 3:17AM

I couldnt wait to find out what sex I was having my oh was really unsure but in the end we boked a private scan and I'll never forget the moment we were told congratulations its a girl it was one of the best moments in our lives. In the end I needed an elective c section so we knew we were having a girl and what she looked like from 4d scan and even when she would be born but it didn't take anything away or ruin the surprise when I first seen her. I really enjoyed my pregnancy all the more for knowing the sex and being able to buy pink things, I would do exactly the same if I had another xxx

JunieMummy · Jun 30, 2008 3:57AM

wow funkymonkey cant believe ur nearly 20 wks already!! Hope the rest of ur pg goes well for u and LO!!

elaine xx

fingerscrossed1 · Jun 30, 2008 7:59AM

My hubby def wants to find out the sex of our lo , I would love to think i would have the will power not to find out and get a surprise at the birth but i know when it comes to the scan il be bursting to know too lol x

Pro's & Con's of finding out the sex - plz. xx

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