hey everyone Im in a state of panic, right where to begin. I have been on the depo provera injection since faith was born 5 months ago, i have been feeling a bit funny last 2 weeks ya no sore boobs and retchy tummy so this morning just to put my mind at rest cos i thought he was gonna be negative, I took a pregnancy test, its come back positive, my partner has said he wants me to have an abortion cos atm financially we cannot cope...he is a university student at the age of 29 and i am nt working as i have faith to look after so cash is tight, His mother has even threatened me b4 that if this happened she wud never speak to me again, I really dont know what to do whether to have an abortion, which i am frightened of and have serious doubts about or to continue with the pregnancy.....either way atm things are looking bad.....

any advice would be greatly appreciated


  • U have to do wats right for u and ur lil girl and dnt let anyone tell u uv got to have an abortion, its totally ur choice. This is no doubt a very difficult situation but u cnt let urself be bullied into sumthing u mite later regret. If an abortion is the best option for u then thats fine, but it has to be ur decision. In all honesty if it was me i wud prob have an abortion but no way wud i let other people be telling me wat to do. So sorry for ur situation, and no doubt nothing is gona make u feel beta or help u decide, but ultimately it is ur decision and no-one elses. Gud luck hun, Kerry xxx
  • I just dont wanna upset any family members but I dont really want to get rid of a baby ya no, it just feels so wrong, financially atm i know we are struggling but atm i cant think wat i wanna do...............i feel sick to my stomach ya no...i no wat my partner wants but he cant understand whats going thru my head atm
  • Sweetheart, I can't help you make up your mind, only give you my opinion.

    Personally I think if you're having doubts about having a termination, then you at least need to speak to a counsellor asap. The last thing you need is to rush into a decision in a panic and spend the rest of your life regretting it.

    If the only reason you would consider a termination is because of pressure from your oh and his family then I would say you have to ignore them and do what feels right for you. Financially, yes of course babies cost money - but they do not have to cost the earth. You will have most of the equipment already from your lo and breastfeeding/terry nappies are all value for money - that's the first year more or less sorted with no extra expense!

    Sorry I can't be more helpful, but make the right decision for you and your lo, not your oh's family!


  • Ladies i really appreciate your replies im going to book to see a counsellor, babies do cost alot of money but they are worth it, i just dont wanna be unfair to my 5 month old atm too ya no i dnt wanna take the attention away from her, shes my wee princess
  • Aw hon, even if you do have another lo your eldest will always be your big girl princess regardless, so don't worry on that scale. Go book your appointment and I hope you become clearer about what you want to do.

  • thanks alot Il keep you posted image
  • Wish you lots of luck hun, but remember, no one can force you to do anything you don't want to.

    When I was preg with my 1st, both my oh and I were working. I went on mat leave and about 1 month b4 due day, my oh had to leave work due to a neck injury. Needless to say, finances were extremely tight! And, to add to things, I fell preg again 6 weeks after having our 1st!!! But we coped! Your love for Faith will not dwindle, she will not lose out, in fact she'll gain in that her family is growing (if u decide to go ahead)!

    The thing to remember is u have a heck of a lot of baby stuff already plus if u do breastfeed, that cuts down on money outlay. Re-useable nappies are gr8 if you get a good one - ok, bit of an outlay at the start with some but think of the savings from using disposables! Also, start looking into anything you mite be entitled to like the child benefit that you get already - is there anything else you can claim? And if you do go ahead, don't forget about the sure-start grant.....that will come in handy.

    Sorry you feel so caught up in having a struggle with your decision, hope you get thru it ok. Whatever happens, just make sure it's ur decision hun and not someone elses!!
  • Just wanted to add - you are entitiled to child tax credit........look into it and start claiming hun - I'm sure something along the lines of ??100 or more a week would come in handy.
  • Sorry hun
    gonna ditto what everyone else has said, this is a very important decision that only you can make and yes financially it will be hard but like karen said you will have most of what you already need, you could use reusable nappies instead of disposables, which councils can sometimes rebate you on. Join forums like freecycle for second hand clothes if this one turned out to be a boy, and lots of other things that could help. Glad you are going to book an appointment to speak to someone, as the last thing you want to do is rush into anything and regret it and it certainly isn't the decision for your MIL to make. So don't feel pressured into any decision by anyone else, however I do think you might want to consider making the decision with your partner once you have spoken to someone together, I would imagine he's panicking more than anything else at the moment. Just a thought.

    Em x
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