Should I just surprise my fella by ditching the pills?

I am so broody and dont think I can wait any longer before ttc! Oh said he would rather wait until March/April time...something to do with his loft conversion project and me being in a new job. Does anyone think I should just ditch my pills now and surprise OH anyway if it happens sooner than that? I don't think he would be mad if it did, this loft conversion is his future babies bedroom...hence all the work he is putting into it...bless!! Oh thinks It will just happen in the first month of trying, I have been trying to tell him that this is not always the case! I dont think I can hold on anymore..the hormones are killing me. Ended up crying tonight because I felt so frustrated by these mad broody feelings. It feels very overwhelming...
Has anyone just surprised Oh's in this way or do you think I should wait like I have been instructed? x:lol:

Posts

  • I personally wouldn't - its a bit deceptive. It might not happen in the first month, but me and the OH have conceived straight away every time we tried. When you get pg you might have to contend with evil morning sickness, raging hormones and a tiredness like you couldn't believe.... the last thing you'll feel up to coping with is an oh who's in a huff with you image.

    Can't you compromise and put a bid in for end Feb/start March? Or focus your energies on getting into optimum condition for ttc and doing lots of research?

    Good luck when you do start!
  • I think you should wait personally. Men can be so weird about babies and stuff, however good they've been about it lol when it actually happens they get scared.
    I fell first month or 2nd, me and oh were being a bit careless, I was waiting to get the implant but I needed to make sure I wasn't pregnant first - but I was. We are 19 and 21 so pretty young but we always said we didn't want to wait that long...only a few more years, but when I said I'm pregnant he went ballistic and didn't really accept it until four months gone or so.
    Not all men are the same but I personally don't think they like to be 'surprised' with big news like this, cos it takes them a while to get their heads round it, whether the baby was 10 years in the making or unplanned. Hope it all goes well ttc x x x
  • Thanks, yes your right, i know deep down in my heart I need to wait till he agrees...just killing me waiting! I will ask him again if we can bring it forward a little...lol! x
  • reading this with hubby.....
    His opinion......no.Its far easier telling him you want to try sooner and loft can be done whilst your pregnant as it can take some women a yr to fall pregnant.
    Like others on here the reactions of some men are confused and ake a while to get used to it! I dont think u want that hun.
    Tell him u cant wait no more and want to start the fun of trying. image all the best xxx
  • Why not tell him you'd like to come off the pill and that you could use the withdrawel method then whilst in the throws of passion he might think sod it and not pull out x x
  • hi i wouldnt do it behind his back, but why not use withdrawal method as woodsarah says and see what happens. i wasnt on pill cause i cant take it but we had been using condoms, we did both want a baby but oh initially wanted to wait a few more months cause he wanted a better job etc first, (kind of same idea as your situation), then one time he just suggested we used withdrawal and he got really used to the feeling of no condom (apparently it feels better fot him) and we never used one again...and he one day just said well lets just see if you get preg then and see what happens ..i was sssoooo happy!! later we talked about it and he had said that what was going through his head was that because we had done it once without protection i could be preg anyway so we might as well keep doing it and he said it helped him get used to the fact of me getting preg sooner....i was pregnant in the first mnth btw!!! so good luck..obviously what you do is uo to you, but do you really want to hold your tiny new baby and know that you decieived your oh to get him/her, kind of ruins the moment i feel x

    [Modified by: lauragcam on January 04, 2008 07:53 AM]
  • I agree with the other comments - i would wait til you are both agreed it is the right time.

    My hubby and i were planning to start a family in November just gone (as we had a holiday abroad booked in November) but i was a bit impatient and said i didnt want to wait any longer to start trying (this was in the June) as i had wanted children for ages so we both talked about it and agreed to start trying straight away as i too thought it might take months and then we still had our holiday to look forward to.

    I ended up getting pregnant the first month of TTC (dont get me wrong - absolutely ecstatic we did!) and ended up having to cancel the holiday as i had had a bleed and really didnt feel up to it. I too thought it would take me months and i thought well if nothing happened then we can go on holiday and chill out and it may happen then!



  • Withdrawal method doesn't really work though...I still got pregnant after just a month of it! She might end up surprising him sooner than later lol!
  • 2 things, first don't duch the pills with out telling him, he may feel angry at the deception, plus don't conceive in march, I did twice and had 2 christmas babies!!!!
  • personally i would ditch the pills now, but tell him and use alternative contraception until he is ready. its suprising how long the pill can take to get out of your system. if you stop taking them now you could be ready to go in march/april rather than have to wait another 3 months for those pesky pills to get out of your system!
    good luck hon x
  • I would talk to him about it, my OH was not as keen on having a baby as me. We talked about it seriously in april last year but each month that I got to end of my pill packet I'd panic, cry and say I didn't know what I wanted and I'd start the new packet! But each time I started my new packet of pills he'd ask me was I sure I wanted to take it etc etc. He really came round in the end and is now so excited about the baby.
  • Hi there

    I agree with the other girls, but...here's a good tip from the trying to conceve (TTC) board. At lot of girls there had problems coming off the pill and waiting for their periods to arrive. I was lucky, mine were normal straight away. However, knowing what I do now, I'd play it safe, come off the pill early and use condoms so your body is getting back to normal by the time you want to TTC.

    Come and join us for a chat in the TTC board - I chatted for a month or two before officially trying and it's fun to feel that you're making some preparations, even if it is just chatting on a chatroom board. You learn a few useful tips as well - I never realised the whole process was so complicated!!!

  • Sorry to take the moral high ground but I understand your frustation we tried for two and A half years to get pregnant.
    However it is not purely your choice no matter how broody you are. He has a right to decide if he wants to be a dad or not, and even if he said he would like to down the line perhaps he is allowing himself to asses weather if its what he wants at all. I do know you maybe very hurt if he decided that he didn't want children, but imagine you lied to him to get pregnant and he decied he wanted nothing to do with you or the baby? you never know how he'll react.

    I'd take the girls advice above and get your body in the best place you can do to prepare for when you do come off the pill. Or how about discussing coming off the pill with him and agreeing to use condoms so that it is getting out of your system and your a step slightly closer.

    you need to talk to him... he may well have a point about wantting to finish the house off and the fact your in a new job, I started a new job and about two weeks later got pregnant and I won't be inititled to any mertarinty pay I am only doing a six month contract and wont even be able to get another job when this one finishes because i'll be so heavely pregnant. This was a bit of a worry for me but because we have discussed it we have made previsions to be able to live on his wage as its a good one we know that its possible.

    I'm sorry you feel so desprate but id you talk to him maybe he will come around to your way of thinking, but I do feel its not nice to trick him and remember if you do he may feel your trying to trap him and for some men they panic and bolt!

    let us know what you decide! x
  • Surprise him with a baby when he isn't ready and he may surprise you by leaving ya for lying to him....

    your descision.
    I wouldn't be very amused it someone did that to me though.
  • Hi lizbit,

    I can sooooo understand how you feel!! Nice to hear that you're in a similiar position to me.

    I agree with the others that you should wait until he has said yes. I want to try now and husband to be has said we can but we get married in 11 weeks so really i should be starting at the end of march. Its mainly because i don't want to feel poorly if i do fall.

    However i can understand how you feel.....i'm so broody at the mo and can't describe how much i want to be a mum. I'm 31 this year and keep telling myself that 11 weeks isn't long to wait but its all i think about.

    Like some other have said i've come off my pill already and taking this next 3 months to eat really well, take folic acid and prepare my body.

    I just hate the wait...plus my H2B had testicular cancer a few years back and its always at the back of my mind as to whether we'll conceive naturally.

    Keep us updated...would me nice to chat to you again x
  • Thanks for the advice girls....to be honest I had a few glasses of Pinot when I posted this message and felt a bit stupid reading all your replies...I couldn't really do that to my OH I would feel like a s**t if I was to fall pregnant under the circumstances. I have no excuse (except the wine pickling my brain) and hold my head in shame.....
    Spoke to OH today, agreed to come off the pill end of month and use either withdrawal or condams until April/May.
  • thats good, glad you spoke with him and thats definitely a step in the right direction anyway x


    http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;19;29/st/20080523/dt/5/k/1ec5/preg.png



  • I'm really pleased that you spoke to him! x
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