what happens to my wee girl if something bad happens....

ok maybe im freaking out...i am pregnant with second, and have a 3 year old girl. my daughter is from a relationship which ended when she was 3 months old, and am now married to guy ive been with since she was 9 months old. i stay in scotland, so although my girls real dad has his name on birth certificate he does not have any parental rights, but he does see her a couple afternoons a week, he has never tried to get anything legal done etc. now ive started freaking out about what would happen to her if i died!! dont know why im thinking this, must be jitters about labour etc...but seriously does anyone know if she would be "allowed" to stay with her stepdad, and new bro or sister? or if her dad would get her (which i wouldnt want as she lives here and that would be a disruption to her life). she has my new husbands name now on her birth certificate, as she was known as my maiden name and as i changed mine on marriage i also changed hers.
would it make a difference if her step dad adopted her?would this even be possible? i know this isnt really a pregnancy related question, but i fdo think im freaking out about it cause i am pregnant, and am worried that i am taking a risk, endangering myself when my girl needs me!!!help!


  • Hi I am not certain about the laws but i think if she were adopted by your husband he would then gain all rights. Could you speak to youe ex about this and see how he feels?

    sorry not much help xx
  • You have to put in your will who you want you children to go to should anything happen. I think if your husband adopted her she would stay with him but i think you would need her biological fathers permission to do that. Im sure you will be fine but if you are very worried go and see a family lawyer who can tell you what to do
  • thanks, i think i am really just overreacting, but it is something i should think about. i would hate it to be decided by some judge where my wee girl goes. i will speak to her real dad about it and see what he thinks would happen. she has never even stayed over night at his never mind living with him..thanks everyone. i tried looking on internet about if step paretns could adopt and all i could see was if the real dad was uncontactable or had died, so i dont know what would happen in my case, and i know its different for scotland and england..will prob try and legal advice after christmas, thanks.i didnt have to get real dads permission to change her name so maybe it would be possible, ill just need to try and find out.
  • Couldn't you write it in your will? Maybe that would solve it. I know my mum and dad wrote in their will what they wanted to happen to me and my brother if anything happened when we were younger.
  • I have a similar thing! My hubby loves my 6yr old to death so does his real dad. Think I heard somewhere that if your new partner has been raising the child as his own for 5 yrs then if anything happened he could have rights to keep the child in the environment they are used to. Am putting it in my will anyway that access, etc stays the same just to be 100%

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