Will I be a good mum?

Hi all I am 24 and I'm 13 weeks pregnant with my first child. Although I have a long way to go till I give birth but I am worrying that I won't be a very good mum, and won't have a clue what the baby needs or wants!
My only experience with babies has been to hold them and once or twice I have fed them, but I have never done anything else. Whenever there was a new baby in my family I was never allowed to interact with it not properly anyway, as my family are born worryers and they worry about the slightest of things, so a young 13 year old girl (me) holding a baby was out of the question.
This strict way of keeping the baby away from me has totally scared me about having my own, I don't know what to do, I don't know how to change a nappy, how to express milk, how often they need feeding etc. What do I do!
Fortunately my husband is 36 has been married before and laready has two kids in there teens, so he knows what he is doing but I can't rely on him all the time!
I never really thought of myself as a maternal person, now I'm going to be a mummy, which I totally thrilled about because the baby was planned, but I'm so worried that being a mother wont come naturally to me!

Does anyone else feel like this? Or has anyone got any advice that may help me feel better? Don't worry about offending me, I am a very open minded person, and I would welcome all responses with an open mind. Thanks Katy

[Modified by: Katyelizabeth on 05 January 2008 15:34:20 ]


  • Hiya katy, i feel exactly th same. I havent a clue, but what makes me feel betetr is knowing that most mothers are like us, and dont have a clue. It just comes naturally. And thats what your midwife and health visitor are there for, to reassure and support you. My best friend has a 5 month old daughter and thats the only time ive done anything with a baby, when she had her. Really dont worry, everything will be fine xx

  • hi,katy,im 20 and 19 weeks pregnant and have my worries has well but like most frst time mums to be i think we question ourselfs, and after you give birth the midwife will show you how to change a nappy help you with feeding if your not sure, dont be afraid to ask for help.

    you can never know to much so keep reading pregnany mags etc they have helped me a lot with my questions!

    lot of love hayley xxx
  • Hiya!
    I feel the same way. I've had no real contact with babies or children either but I think most first time mums feel out of their depth to begin with. I've read that for the first feew weeks you're learning what your baby wants- how are you supposed to know when they can't tell you? Its a learning curve apparently but as the others have said go to ante natal classes, read books, ask questions of the midwives and the health visitor will be there and won't abandon you if you still need them. I'm totally sure you'll be fine, especially with the support of your husband ans people around you. You'll make a fab mummy xxx
  • i felt exactley the same when i was pregnant with first baby even tho i have loads of experiance with children i had loads of neases and nephews who i looked after regulary,i am a qualifide nursery nurse so it was my job to look after babys and children, but i was so worried i would be a rubbish mum lol,
    when my daughter was born, my mother instict kicked in, if i did worry about anythinb i spoke to the midwife on the ward.

    you will be fine hun it will come naturaly to you im sure.
    you will ne a grate mum xxx


  • hey,
    I'm the same as you, never held a baby in my life, much less changed a nappy!
    i would check out SMA's website, if you join there they can send you a newborn know how dvd. It's actually really good, and covers all the basics, how to hold the baby, feed it, bathe it, change a nappy etc. I felt much better after I had watched it, and although I'm still waiting for jnr to arrive, I'm a bit less scared than i was before.
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