I am scared


I have just found out this week that I am pregnant. (At least I think I am, the line was quite faint but period was due several days ago, and I feel tired with tingly/achy boobs and the odd achy feeling down below). I am seeing the doctor for confirmation on Monday.

We were trying for 5 months and I was disappointed each month when I didn't get pregnant, but now that I am I don't feel as happy as I expected to.I feel really quite scared. I am scared of what my parents are going to think (even though I am 29) as I am not married and we have only just got engaged. Plus for a long time I didn't want kids so I think they will think I am making a mistake.

I had just started a diet ready for the wedding and now I won't be able to lose weight, and will end up having my body changed beyond all recognition, so I am scared my partner won't find me attractive any more.

I am scared of labour, and how I will cope with the baby.

So I am so busy worrying about how I am feeling that I haven't really spent any time being excited about the baby, although every now and then I do feel happy about it. I know my partner is worrying about my lack of enthusiasm.

Is it unusual for me to feel like this? Does this make me a bad person?

Have I made a mistake getting pregnant?


  • It is normal to feel apprehensive its a huge life change!! Your parents have no reason to judge, a lot of people have children before they are married and a lot of people say they don't want children and then change their mind.

    If the wedding is a concern can you postpone it for a while until after the baby is born?

    Speak to your OH about your concerns about your body, I felt the same worries but he is so excited about the changes my body is going through and why its happening, the fact that I am not the same as before is not even a consideration!

    We had been trying for 2 months and I didn't expect it to happen so quickly and the reality hit that we were going to have a baby and I was terrified but I think its a perfectly normal reaction and definately doesn't make you a bad person!

    As for coping, you just will!! It just comes naturally and if it doesn't there are a million and one baby books to help you as well as midwives, health visitors and family!

    Try not to worry and enjoy this really exciting time and don't feel bad for being scared, I don't think there is a single person on here who hasn't felt apprehensive at one time or another!!
  • I worried like you...mainly about money, but about other things but now theres a chance that I may have lost my baby (been bleeding today) and its changed my whole outlook. Im not trying to say anything condescening at all but this is normal...worrying. You'll be doing it for the next 18 years! but its the best thing that we as humans can do.

    Dont feel bad for being scared...it is normal.

    Gemma x
  • Thanks both of you, that makes me feel better
  • Two years ago I could have written a very similar post. I was a few years younger so really worrried out what my parents would say. Well it was all fine, we've been married nearly a year now and baby no.2 is due in 6 weeks.

    Its completely normal to feel scared I honestly think the idea of being pregnant/ having a baby is completley different from actually doing it. You'll be fine you've got plenty of time to adapt to the change and so have your family.

    Good luck with the next 7-8 months
  • Hi hun,

    Deep breath and relax! You are completely normal! althouogh our pregnancy was a happy accident and we weren't planning kids for another couple of years, I also imagined feeling really excited and loving being pregnant! It's not that I've hated it, but I haven't felt as excited as I thought I would be. I think you'll find a lot of people, whether they were ttc or not, feel the same! It's such a big life changing thing, it's obviously going to be a bit scary.

    As for your wedding and family, we got married in September last year, and I was 11 weeks pregnant. I found out just 6 weeks before and hardly told anyone because I didn't want to be judged for being pregnant and not married. I was also scared stiff of telling my dad. I'm 28 and have been with my OH for nearly 10 years, nd engaged for nearly 9, so it wasn't like a one night stand or anything. But I think its natural t be worried about how your parents are going to react. My dad said oh a few times, and when I asked if he was shocked, he said a little surprised (he knew we weren't planning for a couple of years!) but it wasn't a bad shock, and now he's more excited than anyone I know!

    don't worry, it'll all be fine!

    Good luck!

    Cas 31+2
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