todays BIG rant

Where to start!!!! I dont post often but i find when im feeling down it really helps or if i can help someone of course.

OK so it all started last weekend...... I own a bridal shop and there are 4 others in the town all within walking distance you can see 2 of them from my doorstep!! I only moved into the town 18 months ago they been here years apart from one who came about 6 months ago but she's hidden in an office block so not as obvious. My best friend went looking for a dress last week and she asked them if they could recommend anywhere, 2 of them wouldnt recommend anyone but did say not to come to me as they hear bad stuff all the time!! Now what wind me up is i know its not true!! I hava a very small staff for the reason i like to make sure i can keep an eye on the customer service, I've never turned a bride away they all get treated amazing in 4 years of being open I have annoyed 3 actually 4 brides 2 of which where my fault and i gave them FREE wedding dresses so they felt happy. Everyone tells us that we're the nicest shop they've been to. Thing is these shops that are slating me actually do have bad reps!! i've had brides in here in tears over the thing they done or the way they been treated but what can i do? Do you think people will listen and not come or come and see for them self? Times being as they are (although we're doing well) i dont want to miss custom grrrrrr.... Just so angry at them i've never told a single customer not to go there if a bride tell me she had a bad time and is she the only i'll reasure her it not just her (normally they think its cause the shop thinks their fat or didnt look like they had enough moneyso i like them to know its not them) the only think i will say about others stores is it depends on the sales assistant you see on the day i've never had a single complaint about a member of staff.....sounds unbelieveable i know but i know i have to keep on top of it as im only 23 andit means i have to work harder at people not thinking their dealing with a kid lol.

so i was upset about this.......THEN

my hubby is a chef so hours at work SUCK (sorry there is no better word for it) This week i know im probably already emotional he got all lates so he leaves at 9am and gets in at 1am the following day. We have a 11month old too so I've been mummy and daddy this week (dont know how single mums do it i PRAISE youimage and i just feel like he sees me getting up in the morning looking like crap and late at night when im crap again, While he's spending all his time at work with waitresses who in my mind have turned in to 6 foot boobie blondes this week I know he loves me and blah blah blah but im lonely image

anyway sorry this is sooooo long and sorry for any mistakes im not watching the screen...

hope you and your bumps are well

kay xx


  • Oh hunny I dont know what to say to make you feel better. With regards to your business what about trying to advertise yourself a bit, contact the local newspaper to do a story on your shop or a bridal magazine ?? I dont know if thats possible but I know in my town we have a local magazine that regularly does reports on the shops in the area.

    As for hubby and the imaginary i'm sure blond waitresses all I can suggest is to speak to your husband about it, maybe you can do more together when he is around ? I can sympathise as although I havent given birth to my lo yet my hubby is a police officer in london and works shifts which has him out the house for ages due to the added travel time from where we live. Its very lonley so when we are around together we try to make the time special.

    Good luck hunny !

    MrsW 30 weeks today !
  • Oh dear,poor you! The only bit of comfort I can give you is that when I was dress shopping I didn't even think about reputation! It was all about price and customer service,I did find that the more pricey the shop the more snooty the service! You could try advertising but just keep giving good service.

    My hubby worked away for a while,leaving me with a 3 year old and a few month old and it WAS very lonely,but it does end sooner or later! xx k 11+6
  • Hon, not sure what to say, other than when i was looking at dresses I wouldn't have been put off by someone telling me not to go somewhere... i tend to think for myself and find out rather than trust bad WOM. Sometimes its just the assistants on the day...

    is there anyway you could send someone in with a dictaphone or something to record them saying this then confront them about it...?

    A little bit of advertising might not hurt either - contact your local paper and see if they'll run a piece on your shop - how its a small friendly local run business and get some previous customers to give their impressions etc.....

    I can understand what you mean about the hours - OH is a postman so works unsocial hours (he does overtime every afternoon as well as his morning shift) so for the last 11 months its been ships in the night for us as I worked evening shifts... Its not easy and it causes the most major rows between us sometimes, but it means the times we do get together mean so much more.
    Not sure what you could do about that though.

    Sorry not much help.
  • hi hun,

    I just wanted to comment on your OH's hours. i'm in a similar boat, my husband is a chef, head chef in fact and there are weeks where I barely see him, and because of his position, even when he does get a day off, he's getting phone calls all the time, or has to pop in.

    We've been together 10 years this year, and married since last September, so I'm used to having the evening and weekends to myself now, but found it very hard at first. And I found that friends and family didn't really understand, the amount of weekends, weddings, parties I've had to go to on my own, with the host not understanding why he couldn't come, and being funny about it, as if he's done it on purpose. They're a lot better now, and he has a good employer where he can get weekends off, usually about once every 6 weeks, unlike his last job where it was 4 weekends a year off.

    It does get hard sometimes, I work flexi time but like to go in early so I can finish earlier, so quite often get up at 7 and get home at 5. He starts work at 9 and quite often works til 12, 1 am!! When I leave for work he's in bed, when he gets home I'm in bed. We sometimes go for days without a proper conversation.

    I am a bit worried that when I have the baby (I'm due in 9 weeks) i'll be at home on my own with the baby while he's out working all the time. He can take split shifts, usually only during the week, but doesn't usually bother as he finds by the time he gets home, he's only got a bit of time before he has to go back. However, I have asked him that when we have the baby, he makes more of an effort to take splits, or if he can't on that day he gives us half an hour out of his day and I will go to him with the baby!

    I have managed to find some positives though. When I go back to work, he is going to be able to have the baby for 2 days a week, as he tends to have weekdays off, saving us a fortune on childcare. And he gets quite good holidays, whereas I don't, so am looking forward to having lots of time with him during the summer.

    I know its not easy, hun, but I just wanted to say that you're not alone, I know what you're going through! As for the waitress situation, I completely know what you mean. I've worked on and off part time in his restaurant for the last couple of years, and made friends with a lot of the waitresses, plus I go to all the parties, but sometimes he will come home and say, oh so and so gave me a compliment today, or so and so made me laugh, and it's all completely innocent, but it still winds me up! I know its all in my head, and many of these waitresses have boyfriends and i know he would never cheat on me, but I can't help winding myself up. And if he's late on night and is not answering his mobile, it drives me crazy, wondering where he is and what he's doing!

    Not sure what to suggest about your shop dilemma, i'm guessing the other shops feel threatened, but it's still not nice. I don't really think there's much you can do, that you're not doing already, if you make a fuss it'll look bad on you. From my experience, I found a lot of the shops were quite snooty, and one didn't pay any attention to what I'd asked. I had a strict budget and they kept pulling out dresses twice or three times it. I know there's an element of upselling and encouraging brides to try on dresses they wouldn't initially consider but I found some shops really didn't listen. Another shop had 3 sales staff who were sat chatting around the till for the first 20 minutes of me entering the shop, until I had to ask them to help me. The shop I ended up going with, were really helpful at first, but as soon as they got my money they changed, and I started having problems. They also ordered the wrong size dress and then made me pay for the alterations! So it's good to know that you put so much effort into your customer service. I'm sure there are lots of ladies out there who have similar horror stories!

    hope that helps!

    C. X
  • I agree with the others, I have been to a couple of shops recently and the reason I went to these particular shops was because they had designer days of a couple of particular designers I wanted to see- if I had heard anything bad about them I still would have gone- definitely!

    The idea about getting a local paper or mag to do an article about your shop sounds really good- it would encourage more brides to come to yours rather than the other local ones, where you can show that you would never stoop to their level and badmouth other businesses

    Where is your shop anyway?

    With regards to your partner, I can't really give any advice as I haven't been in that particuar situation, but is it worth getting him to take a few days off and having a nice few days together? To be honest with my experience of that industry, your husband as chef probably doesn't have any time to socialise with the waiting staff anyway, if that's any consolation!!

    12 weeks x
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