whats a midwife meant to do?

im 16 weeks and have been to the midwife 3 times. each time ive seen a different person. i thought you were generally meant to see the same person to build up a 'rappour'?

this morning i went and the midwife didnt know who i was or why i was there....she took my blood which was incredibly painful (ive never had pain from bloods before!) and then made me feel i was being dramatic. i honestly felt sick and light headed, i thought she was pulling my vein out of my arm!?!

on my second visit i was asked if i knew how much i weighed which i did, however this time i didnt know as havent weighed myself since...yet she didnt bother to weigh me just said oh im sure you havent put much on yet, when id already put on 5lb last time.

there was no asking how i was feeling, whether i had any questions/problems etc, and although i dont i wouldnt have felt encouraged to ask even if i did!

i also had to argue to get a morning appointment for the next time instead of a midday one! she wanted to book me in for midday as it was the next appointment and then for me to call back nearer the time to make another one - how does that make sense?!?

i thought midwifes were meant to offer you support, mine dont seem the slightest bit interested in me, and make me feel im actually an inconvience! am i completely overreacting and letting my hormones take over?

sorry for the essay just needed to get it off my chest, and genuinely interested to see if my expectations are too high?


  • Hi

    I've only seen the midwife twice and it's never been the one who supposed to have been assigned to me, but by the sounds of it other ppl seem to have the same 1, and both my sisters have the same one. I know it's quite unlikely that u'll have 'ur' midwife when u have the baby, but i think it would b nice to get to know the person who's lookin after u thru pregnancy cos i don't no bout u but i find it easier to ask questions if i am a bit familiar with the person especially if they're personal or sensitive.
    Have got another appt in a couple of weeks so mite actually get to meet my mw then!

    Jst thought i'd let u no ur not the only one!
  • hugs hun. i had the same at first. didnt get a booking in appointment til 14 weeks. at my 12 week scan they didnt scan me, and no one thought to tell me up until last week when i was 34 weeks about antenatal classes... that had already started. so ive joined halfway through.
    Some people are really lucky and get fantastic midwifes... just seems that they dont have enough time for everyone.
    Though as of 20 weeks you should really be seeing the same midwife, if you are worried about anything id recommend making an extra appointment with your gp... who will go through everything with you x
  • i only saw a midwief on my booking in appointment, rest of my blood test n other stuff was done by nurses before 20weeks, well obv had sonographer for the scans but even then i had a different one each time. but now i've had the same community mw even though there's about 6 different ones that come to my dr's surgery! but i know measurment wise you're supposed to be measured by the same person each time.


  • Hi
    I've been wondering the same sort of thing....booking in appmt with one m/w, 2nd appmt i was told she'd left & temp was there (although she was lovely) and at both scans its been someone different!
    This is my first too, so wasn't sure what to expect and would of been grateful for a bit more support/advice/info etc!
    Hopefully, the next appmts will be with the same person...next one is 27th Feb so we'll see!!
    If your not happy with things though, definately contact your gp for further advice
    Sarah xx
  • thanks for the replies, im sorry to hear im not the only one.
    will wait until my next appointment and see what happens then....im sure it will all work ok in the end, it just wasnt quite what i was expecting from my midwife - although not much about this pregancy has been as i expected!
    thanks again, dont know what id do without this site! x
  • When i was expecting my second baby I lived in Staffordshire and I saw the same midwife everytime which was really nice (she even remembered me from 8yrs previous with my first) she was also at the hospital when I gave birth. However I now live in Crewe Cheshire and I havent seen the same midwife twice, Im now 39+1 so its a bit late now to build a rapour with my midwife.

    Sara 39+1
  • oh my it seems i have been extremely lucky... i have had the same midwife each visit and the same 2 sonographers for the scans and genereally see the same doc too if i can... it seems that community midwifes are is short supply under high demand!
  • Yeah I think I'm lucky to have had the same one. However there was 1 week where I had a different midwife and she was horrible! Like yours she didn't even bother to weigh me just asked how much I weighed and she made phone calls (that were clearly not urgent) without apologising. xxx
  • i have never had the same midwife twice in this pregnancy or my previous one 5years ago, i think every primary care trust is different tbh.
    i was weighed at my booking in appt and haven't been weighed since, it was the same with ds1 also.
  • hi girls, I have seen the same mw twice then the rest of the times I have seen a different one. Last week they had a trainee with them who was lovely, when she messured lo he was 36cm and then when the qualif did I was 34 but they messured me in different places!!!!! but at least he had grown from 31cm. I have the hospital tomorrow at 36 weeks and dreading it incase I have the same woman as last time as she was a real bitch. My vet treats my brood mares with more grace and understanding.
  • I've had two appointments with the midwife and both times it's been a different one. I too am a bit disappointed as I wanted to be able to get to know my midwife really well so during labour I felt comfortable, but now it could be a total stranger who's there helping me deliver my baby. I guess I probably won't mind when the time comes, but it is a bit of a let-down. I guess they have so many people to see that it's impossible to be assigned one midwife, who knows!! xxxx


  • I too have seen different MW's and it is dissapointing. Both have ben helpful though. But the receptionists are the most unhelpful staff I have ever met. I want to scream at them.

    But whoever they give me in the delivery room will get hell no doubt. Whether it's someone I have got to know or not.
  • When i went to the doctor to confirm my pregnancy, he said the midwifes dont really tend to weigh you that much anymore, it doesnt really help them its just for you too know. Apparently they prefer to measure the bump now.
    Im 20w, i seen my mw once on my booking in meeting, my scans and bloods and things have been with nurser or the hospital sonographer. But on my last scan i was told that i will now be passed back over to my mw for the rest of my pregnancy.
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