Pregnant after two miscarriages
I have had two miscarriages 1 Feb 8th 2016 and my husband wouldn't try after and was unsupportive. And I struggled. He said it wasn't really a baby and I was being silly.
January 2018 he said he wouldn't try but wouldn't prevent but at 37 years old I for me and 40 for him i didn't hold out much hope. June 2018 when I was now 38 I had another miscarriage. He said it obviously wasn't ment to be and I needed to move on with my life. Age was against us. I needed a purpose in life.
Right now I am 7 weeks 4 days pregnant. I haven't told anyone including my husband. I had no symptoms til Saturday when I am now feeling very sick but not vomiting. I am taking that as a positive sign. I'm so worried to tell anyone One the negatives I know everyone will say I'm very old my mum tells me this anyway let alone in pregnancy I don't know how my husband will react as I know he wasn't keen and only stopped using protection to stop me being upset but I know he hoped we'd both be too old. And also it sounds silly but admitting to anyone I'm pregnant I think something will go wrong. I know I will have to tell people as I need care and scans etc but my head is so confused, the amount of times I've felt wet and run to check it's not blood are endless. And i don't know how to tell him or my parents with this fear of negativity.
Thank you for reading.
Replies
Aww sending love ❤️ I am excited for you with this pregnancy and i hope your husband will take the news well I am sure he will , when do you plan on telling him the news? Xx
Everyday at work I plan how I'll tell him that night. Then when it comes to it. It never seems the right time. That probably sounds stupid but I don't know how best to do it.
Awww sending you big hugs. You’re emotional and nervous and that’s understandable. Perhaps you should just assume this is really good news for him and tell him on Valentine’s Day??? that’s if you’re ready to tell him, if you’re not, don’t Yet. You have few weeks. You and the baby are the most important things.
I really do honk you’re husband will come round and be supportive. Remember that it doesn’t feel real for them early on. This does change Later. Me and my husband are the same ages as you so I do understand the age thing but it’s just a number- you’re in your prime!!!
i also suffered from 2 mcs last year, at 20 weeks and 11 weeks. I was absolutely devastated and I still am- men just don’t quite understand it the same, in general.
Stay strong and look after yourself.xxxxx.
Thank you for your reply. And I'm so sorry you've had the heartbreak of two miscarriages and especially one so late.
It's such a lonely grief. I'm pretty much on my own. As I have no friends, I've never really fitted in, in life. My family are all very self centered so only interested if things are about them, and manage turn any conversation you start to being about them. Then I have my husband. He has servere depression and anxiety. Mostly triggered by work, his family and this means he has a very short temper, no patience and can be very self centred in his thoughts and actions. He has considered suicide on many occasions.
Last night unfortunately was bad one for him he has been sat up alot of the night saying he can't cope with work and feels like doing something stupid So last night definitely wasn't the time to tell him.
And I guess part of me worries about telling him or anyone else, when what if things go wrong again. Would I be better keeping it to myself. I never told anyone but my husband the last two times and with his lack of support I kind of thought after I wish I hadn't told him. Sorry I'm waffling.
Hollyg, you’re not having a great time of it at all. It sounds like your husband is really struggling but you need support too.
it doesn’t sound like the right time to tell him but when will there be a good time?
It’s so hard. Stay strong and keep trying different people to see who can help- even a little bit.
we‘re here if you need us. This forum has helped me so much Over the last year.xxxx
Thank you. 9 weeks tomorrow and still not told anyone.
Was going to tell my husband tomorrow as we have the day in London as he has the hospital and will probably have some lunch out but he has come home from work in such a bad mood he won't talk to me.
I just want to cry as I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I wanted this baby more then anything and now I'm doubting how I even feel about it. Something so precious shouldn't feel this hard should it.
Thank you for your support
Try not to worry yourself or panic. Your husband might be in a better mood tomorrow when you’re out together. It might be the ideal time to tell him but see how you feel.
don‘t forget you’ll be emotional too in general So hormones won’t be helping.
🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 Everything’s going well and when you tell your husband, he’ll be made up.xxxxx
Hi thank you.
Just an update. The time never seemed right to tell him. Last night at 1am I got up and felt the tell tale gush. I went to the bathroom and I had started bleeding. I rang 111 they said ring the gp this morning and they might send me for a scan at epu but maybe not. She suggested I prepare for the worst. So looking like this wasn't ment to be.
Thank you for your previous replies.
Hollyg02
I am sending you a big big hug your poor thing have you got any support around you right now?
Hi thank you. No I'm in my own. My husband is away with work. I'm just working out if I should go to work this morning and then call the GP or cancel work. I'm a bit of a mess emotionally and wondered if work would focus my mind elsewhere or a stupid idea. My last miscarriage was 9 month ago and that baby would have been due Wednesday 27th so not a good week for me.
Thank you again for replying.
How's things with you?
Thank you for checking on me.
Wish I knew how to love on. And what to do with this miscarriage do I have another scan next week, take the pills or just let nature take its course I'm so confused .