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HELP NEEDED!!!! 3 year old screams and hits me
I have a 3 year old that likes to scream at me & hit me if she doesn't like what she's being told. Also if I ask her to do something she normally says "no don't want to". I've tried everything. The naughty step doesn't seem to have any effect anymore. I've taken away the TV for days at a time, she's lost all her chocolate from easter, she misses out on walking the dog with Daddy, she loses her stories at bedtime, but she just doesn't seem bothered, and I don't know where to go now, any help would be gratefully received.
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hi becky well your household sound similar to mine lol and in mine charlie is only 2 and has started doing most of the stuff your little one is doing to
the joys of being mummys lol
well we have the naughty spot which at the moment is still working for us but there are times when for us depending on what charlie does is a case of ignoring some of the minor things he does because i worked out he does the bad things more because he gets attention for the bad things so he does them more, he has started to do them less with us ignoring him but obvioulsy some situations require a more appropriate discipline so thats when the naughty spot comes in for us but for you i'm wondering if it would be a case of removing your daughters favourite toys 1 for each time shes naughty and she doesnt get them back until she really starts being good and shows she is listening to you.
i know you've said you take away the tv, her chocolate etc but maybe her toys/ teddies/dolls that are important to her would have more effect
my cousin uses this with her 5 yr old who is testing the water with her behaviour at the moment so each time shes naughty they give her warning and if she continues they remove one of her favourite skirts from her wardrobe this has a massive effect because she absolutly loves all her skirts so the behaviour is beginning to get better, so maybe try something like that,
does daddy do the telling off to or is it just you? just asking because at the moment its just me and charlie here because my hubby is on a deployment so it does get hard being the goody and the baddy all the time so now when we are out at friends or with charlies grandparents they do the telling off to which has a better effect because he realises its not just mummy keeping on and that its wrong to do etc.....so maybe for you daddy could do the discipline thing a bit more????
other than that i would try and get her to help you with jobs more etc getting her involved with stuff may reduce the tantrums and hitting, how about a reward chart, each time she does something that shes asked she gets a sticker on her chart and you can maybe say that if she fills up her chart for the week then she'll get a treat, but explain each time she naughty a sticker comes off so if the charts not filled by the end of the week she gets nothing
i hope any of this helps and i know how frustrating it can get sometimes but just remember its our little ones expressing themselves, yep i wish they would do it in a different way lol but things will get better i promise
take care
zoe x
Thank you so much for your advice Zoe, it's been a great help.
I am home with Ellie so I do most of the telling off but Daddy does back me up when he's home. He also tells Ellie off if she's naughty around him. I got a reward chart on Thurs and it definately seems to be helping, she has been gradually getting better over the last few days. I totally understand about the ignoring part, I think I need to do it more, just really worried it may get worse if not nipped in the bud, but will give it a go. Also the teddy thing is a great tip, thanks. She has a favourite teddy that she loves so think I may use him.
Thanks again for replying.
Becky
xxxxx
With our now 5 year old girl, if I took her out for a walk 'to see what we can see', it really seemed to be a pressure release. We could be away from whatever was causing the trouble, and she could also see that we got on ever so well underneath it all. (I know that's not practical all the time!)
I also try hard (but often fail) not to sound too emotional when we're having a disagreement - that would really escalate things for our dd. You know, the really calm 'that's not how we do things in this house' sort of thing that they say in school...
I also say something like 'I love you, but I just don't love some of your behaviour sometimes' .. a bit cringey and American perhaps and I'm not sure it makes much difference, but at least it made me feel better
Oh and a hug. That sometimes really takes them by surprise in a big battle, when you say 'Oh love, you look so worn out by all this, would you like a cuddle'. Sometimes they go all melty and realise that that is what they want after all
Good luck!