🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Options
Feeling really upset
I became pregnant in November last year and although it was'nt planned I was really excited. I was worried about telling my boyfriend at first, We hadn't been together very long and I am a student.
when i told him he was happy and so we planned the arrival of our baby.
He couldn't come to the 12 week scan and so my mum came with me. As the sonagrapher scanned my tummy i knew something was wrong. It seems the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I was very upset. i was told that I would have to have another scan a week later to check that my dates weren't wrong and they hadn't missed the heartbeat.
I sent a message to my boyfriend to tell him the news and he said he would come over to see me. later, I went to meet him off the train, but found him in the pub.
It was confirmed a week later and I went down to theatre the next day. I felt so empty afterwards and so angry.
About 2 weeks later, my boyfriend and i split up after an argument where he became violent. it really frightened me and I decided it was time to leave.
Now he is saying that i killed his baby and that no hospital in the land would make you wait a week. He has sent me lots of messages asking why i aborted his baby. i know he is saying it to hurt me, but it is just so cruel. i am trying to move on, but it is really upsetting.
when i told him he was happy and so we planned the arrival of our baby.
He couldn't come to the 12 week scan and so my mum came with me. As the sonagrapher scanned my tummy i knew something was wrong. It seems the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I was very upset. i was told that I would have to have another scan a week later to check that my dates weren't wrong and they hadn't missed the heartbeat.
I sent a message to my boyfriend to tell him the news and he said he would come over to see me. later, I went to meet him off the train, but found him in the pub.
It was confirmed a week later and I went down to theatre the next day. I felt so empty afterwards and so angry.
About 2 weeks later, my boyfriend and i split up after an argument where he became violent. it really frightened me and I decided it was time to leave.
Now he is saying that i killed his baby and that no hospital in the land would make you wait a week. He has sent me lots of messages asking why i aborted his baby. i know he is saying it to hurt me, but it is just so cruel. i am trying to move on, but it is really upsetting.
0
Replies
Very very luckily and my guardian angel must of been shining on me cause my baby survived and my dates were a week out cause when they checked me there was a heartbeat.
I beleive the hospital do this cause like my case i could of aborted a perfectly normal baby so they need to be sure that it is the right thing to do even though the heart ache for you is so upsetting.
The way your partner is behaving is disgraceful and hugely unsupportive, maybe its his way of dealing with the loss of your baby and he is lashing out because he is hurt or maybe he is just not the man you thought he was and in that instance you are better of without and i would suggest changing your phone so he cannot contact you in the future. Things always happen for a reason and maybe just maybe he wasnt the man for you to bring up a child with.
You stay strong and if you can talk to close friends or family then do so and lean on them for the support you need.
I am so sorry to hear of what happened but when you do have a little one he/she will be even more as special and precious and well worth the wait xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I am fighting this overwhelming need to get pregnant again asap. Every where i look i see bumps, but know that i need to be in a good relationship first.
I found it more difficult as my sister had just given birth 12 weeks early to a baby girl. She was in NICU and so the attention was on her. Don't get me wrong, of course she was more important. I love her to bits and thankfully she is home and doing really well.
It was just that I felt a bit jealous of my sister and fed up with everyone talking about them. omg that sounds so selfish!!
Thanx once again
Lisa xxx
I don't have a lot of advice for you I'm afraid but I wanted to offer my support.
Can you change your number so your ex can't contact you? it's completely unfair the way he is behaving and you shouldn't have to deal with it. He should leave you alone to grieve.
Your maternal instinct will still be strong that is probably why you want to get pregnant again. Try and focus your attention on something more positive for yourself.
It's not selfish of you to feel that about your sister, you have just lost your baby and she has just had hers it's a harsh blow to you but that feeling will fade in time.
Everyone is here if you ever need to chat hun
Caz
xx
Its natural to feel jealous and feel you just want to be pregnant again so thus to pretend nothing happened so dont feel bad for feeling either of those things. Caza is right to say that you need to divert your attention to something else and concentrate on you and where your life can move forward to bigger and better things.
You can get through this i promise! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Big hugs to you xxx