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where do i start im writing this crying, i hope its not to long its just i dont any friends with kids who would understand
here goes
well i found out in june oh had slept with my step sister he said sorry blah blah blah i forgave him and we tried to move on
its been ok i DO LOVE HIM i know i do i just dont know wheather its enough he had a stressfull job and was lazy round the house i understood it was work getting him down so i just got on with it then he got another job working less hours so i throught it would improve and it did for a while then now he is back to himself we havent got the sex we used to have i throught maybe he was having second throughts and changed his mind about us but it was easier to stay toghother so i confronted him and he says he wants me more than ever im feeling a bit shit as i want my hair cut and want to feel better about the way i look so thats part of the sex problem i suppose but its getting to me today i started to think about how i could move out with lo and get a place of my own and i know i dont want that its just im confussed about how things are going with us i find it hard to open up and say especially to him????
i love him with all my heart, before i found out about the cheating i was thinking about us getting married i wouldnt even want to dream about it now, i see it i forgave him but it would hurt more if he did it again and we were married so im not ever going down that road. the way i feel its not an option anyway i dont know how to deal with this
ive throught i could write him a letter???
i throught i could go away for a few days i have the chance(in laws have a caravan) then i could think propley how i want this to go???
im going mad!!!!!
does it sound like ive got my knickers in a twist about nothing???
i work long hrs over a short period of time so i get tired quickly although i do have 4 days off a week he says its hard to do housework with lo around but doesnt do any when lo is in bed either!!!! it took me half an hour to knock our house in to shape that was after working 28hrs in 2 days hed been home since about 8 and had done f**K all!!!!
i was very angry and went to bed without talking to him and i hate that so much
hope your advice can help me im going mad!!! I THINK
here goes
well i found out in june oh had slept with my step sister he said sorry blah blah blah i forgave him and we tried to move on
its been ok i DO LOVE HIM i know i do i just dont know wheather its enough he had a stressfull job and was lazy round the house i understood it was work getting him down so i just got on with it then he got another job working less hours so i throught it would improve and it did for a while then now he is back to himself we havent got the sex we used to have i throught maybe he was having second throughts and changed his mind about us but it was easier to stay toghother so i confronted him and he says he wants me more than ever im feeling a bit shit as i want my hair cut and want to feel better about the way i look so thats part of the sex problem i suppose but its getting to me today i started to think about how i could move out with lo and get a place of my own and i know i dont want that its just im confussed about how things are going with us i find it hard to open up and say especially to him????
i love him with all my heart, before i found out about the cheating i was thinking about us getting married i wouldnt even want to dream about it now, i see it i forgave him but it would hurt more if he did it again and we were married so im not ever going down that road. the way i feel its not an option anyway i dont know how to deal with this
ive throught i could write him a letter???
i throught i could go away for a few days i have the chance(in laws have a caravan) then i could think propley how i want this to go???
im going mad!!!!!
does it sound like ive got my knickers in a twist about nothing???
i work long hrs over a short period of time so i get tired quickly although i do have 4 days off a week he says its hard to do housework with lo around but doesnt do any when lo is in bed either!!!! it took me half an hour to knock our house in to shape that was after working 28hrs in 2 days hed been home since about 8 and had done f**K all!!!!
i was very angry and went to bed without talking to him and i hate that so much
hope your advice can help me im going mad!!! I THINK
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Replies
I didn't want to read and run,but it's so difficult to know what to say in situations like this though.
Men are lazy. They think that they do their fair share working 9-5 or whatever, but what they don't realise is that most women work too, and then come home and do housework and cooking. We don't do it for fun - it's not called houseWORK for nothing! Maybe you could set some ground rules - a clear division of labour sharing the cooking and washing etc. Easier said than done, I know. Men are not perfect - never will be - and to some extent we have to accept that about them.
As for the cheating - with your stepsister - ouch! That one is down to you hun. Time is a healer, it is possible to forgive and forget but he has to PROVE you can trust him if this relationship is going to continue. Maybe you could ask him to stay in the caravan for a week? He's the one in the wrong - don't put yourself and your little one out, just coz he's made the biggest mistake of his life - let him deal with the consequences!
But, let me just say this - it's something a friend once said to me and it's helped me get through many trauma's with the man I am now happily married too: If you can get through your troubles together, it makes the glue that keeps you together even stronger - and that is a powerful thing. You know then that you've really got someone who'll stick with you through thick and thin.
Good luck.
Maymum.
But ultimately only U will know what to do for the best!
Take care babe XX