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Hi im not sure if this goes in here but
My OH and are are not getting along at all.
Hes verbally abusive to the point where he yells at me every single day, he apparantly has always been lke it and has a VERY short fuse. The thing is before we lived together he seemed fine, we were friends before we got together and i honestly thought he was the nicest most considerate man i had ever met, i was really wrong about him.
He goes out for 2 or more hours every morning (he got made redundant from his job a few months ago) and a few nights a week. He will also pop out in the afternoons for little things like going to his mums to clip his nails because he couldn't find ours.
He doesn't do much round the house but he does do the dishes after dinner. He throws his rubbish on the floor, leaves rubbish on the sides, spills a glass of water and just leaves it, never takes his plate out, leaves dirty ear cleaners around, general lazy man stuff.
He spends little time with Connor, never get up to him at night, he gives him his bath a few times a week and plays with him for half hour or so throughout the day, if i do ask him to watch Connor while i do something he puts ITNG on and sits on the laptop.
If hes not out he is on the laptop or yelling at me, ive told him im not happy and by the way he is acting he obviously isn't although he wont admit it.
I cant say anything to him because he just goes off on one and I just don't have the energy anymore.
I feel i would be better off on my own but i dont want to deprive Connor of his daddy and I do care for him, im so hurt by how he is with me that the thought of love is a little cloudy.
I don't expect a reply i just wanted to get it out really, thanks for reading if you got this far
Gill
xxxx
Hes verbally abusive to the point where he yells at me every single day, he apparantly has always been lke it and has a VERY short fuse. The thing is before we lived together he seemed fine, we were friends before we got together and i honestly thought he was the nicest most considerate man i had ever met, i was really wrong about him.
He goes out for 2 or more hours every morning (he got made redundant from his job a few months ago) and a few nights a week. He will also pop out in the afternoons for little things like going to his mums to clip his nails because he couldn't find ours.
He doesn't do much round the house but he does do the dishes after dinner. He throws his rubbish on the floor, leaves rubbish on the sides, spills a glass of water and just leaves it, never takes his plate out, leaves dirty ear cleaners around, general lazy man stuff.
He spends little time with Connor, never get up to him at night, he gives him his bath a few times a week and plays with him for half hour or so throughout the day, if i do ask him to watch Connor while i do something he puts ITNG on and sits on the laptop.
If hes not out he is on the laptop or yelling at me, ive told him im not happy and by the way he is acting he obviously isn't although he wont admit it.
I cant say anything to him because he just goes off on one and I just don't have the energy anymore.
I feel i would be better off on my own but i dont want to deprive Connor of his daddy and I do care for him, im so hurt by how he is with me that the thought of love is a little cloudy.
I don't expect a reply i just wanted to get it out really, thanks for reading if you got this far
Gill
xxxx
0
Replies
If you're not happy and he's not happy, I think it's worse for your son to stay together just so he has a 'dad' there. If you'll be happier apart I'm sure this would be better for your son. Doesn't sound like he's being much of a dad anyway. If you live apart, doesn't mean Connor will be deprived of his dad.
When I split from my daughter's father I was worried about this, but to be honest, as he has that time alone with her on weekends, he's been a better dad since we split then he ever was when we were together because he has to make much more effort and not leave everything down to me.
Hope I haven't offended, good luck xx
It sounds like if you left him then the time that he spent with Connor would be better quality than he gets now anyway. Why don't you go for a trial seperation to see if that will make him see sense?
Im gonna get xmas out the way and see how we go, maybe seperate for a while
xxxx
I definatly agree with you about the thought being worse than the deed. My ex wasnt a very nice person and it took me 2 years of trying to pluck up the courage to end it but like you say it is as if a huge weight has been lifted.
The thing is my current oh is no way near as bad as my ex in some things so i cant help thinking at least its not as bad as the last one, plus we have a child and that seems to make me work harder at the relationship but at the end of the day i know in my heart that its not good for Connor to have an unhappy mummy and daddy so like i said im gonna re-evaluate after xmas.
Thanks for the advice and support girls
xxxx