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jo1976
hi ya just to say thanks iam feeling a little better had a exchange of views ( to put it mildy lol ) with my o/h and hopefully things will get better as we are both trying with each other. my docs app got cancelled the other day and i can't get back in for two weeks as shes on hols. so i made a list of whats bothering me and trying to do something postive about each one i don't know if it'll work but i really don't want to carry on feeling like i have been. How are you feeling? if you'd like to chat anytime take care xx
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Two weeks wait! That's sounds really long to me. How disappointing. I don't suppose you can see another doctor? Sounds like your ideas about making a list and trying to do something are a really productive and positive step. A big well done. How old is your LO? Or little ones?? When did your PND start?
You're not the only one chewing the ear off your OH :roll: I've just recounted my rant on the missed mc page so won't go into too much detail again, but I ended up having a massive go at OH last night because he was happy to go to his godaughter's 1st birthday party next weekend without me and didn't seem phased by the fact that there would be only families and pregnant couples there. I know the main reason he wanted to go was to see his best mate. They live 45 mins drive away now and haven't seen each other since Jan. Still it was enough for me to to be really nasty, accusing him of not caring enoough, not being upset enough etc. And I raised the old chestnut that we wouldn't be the only childess ones in his group of friends if he hadn't insisted on waiting so long. A lot of my friends haven't got children either yet so I should moan too much. It's just annoying that everyone thinks I'm "the career woman" and he's "the family man" and they're surprised to now hear that he was the one who didn't want children. I know this whole blame thing is really counter productive but I just feel so angry sometimes.
Still, I feel better this morning. I've shed a tear and apologised and we'll be ok. We're buying a new house which needs work so I think we're going to look at bathrooms which will weirdly cheer me up
Hope you're ok hon. Speak soon,
Jo x
It's just i've been feeling so down and don't want to wait again until i breakdown so i think i'm going to try and see another doc. I can totally see why you felt that way about the party, i think my reaction would have been similar. I really think in no means is it less hurtful for a man but as a woman you have every aspect to deal with mind,body and soul, which they don't.This time cole was 10mths old when i went to the docs and all she wanted to do was give me pills which i just didn't want to take. i didn't go to the counselling either as i was afraid i wasn't really depressed and they'd think i was wasting my time. luckily i had a friend who kept listening and checking up on me so i think that helped. and also i had holistic treatments which also helped as well as being able to talk to someone.
It's more than annoying when people think they know you and give you a label it drives me nuts!!!!!!!! I feel like buying a punch bag so when i get mad i can take it out on that first;\)
Take care of yourself hun x
I've had a real up and down wknd but I'm not going to chat now. Need an early night as OH off to London really early.
1st counselling session for me tomo AM. Hope it goes well. Sleep well hun. Chat over next day or so.
J x
I talked a lot about my anger and she's suggested some ways of physically releasing my anger such as punching a pillow and keeping an anger management diary.
Also, I've been saying so far that the "pregnancy failed" or "the fetus didn't develop" as there was just an empty embryo sac when I was scanned. But she kept reminding me that "I'd lost my baby" which really touched a nerve. I've been trying to make myself feel better over the fact that I couldn't see a baby but I suppose it's good to have 'permission' to grieve as much as I have been.
Anyway, felt so down after I couldn't go to work! Boss was fine. Will go back tomorrow. Was really tempted to open a bottle of red at about 2.30 this afternoon but ate chocolate and went for a long walk instead which I'm glad about now.
How are you feeling today? I'm sorry to hear your previous doc just tried to pump you with pills. I do think it's worth shopping around for a good doc. My current doc is a million times better than my old one.
I can understand why your turned down the counselling. I almost felt the same and thought to myself that I've only had 1 mc - is that bad enough to warrant counselling? But I'm going to keep going fr a few weeks. I think it might help long term.
I think you're absolutely doing the right thing by trying to address your feelings of depression again now before you start to feel worse. That's a really postive proactive step.
Should go really - need some ZZZzzzz.
Sleep well!
Speak soon,
J x
If it's a bad idea i'm sorry perhaps you could find some way of acknowledging your loss maybe something simple by lighting a candle for your baby and saying a prayer or whatever feels right for you ( i'm not religous much myself but i like to think there is something).
i wish you bucketfulls of sunshine hun and take care nikki x
I think you're right about doing something to mark the loss of our baby. I was just chatting to Becs about this actually. I'm kind of undecided about religion too but I have felt more spiritual lately. Perhaps sad experiences make you step back and think about life more. I will do something I think.
Hope you're feeling ok today. You sound really chirpy i your post! Have you managed to get another doc's appt yet? I was thinking btw, do you have a Welsh connection. Just wondered as your eldest is Rhys. I'm in Cardiff in case I haven't mentioned that before!
Thanks for the sunshine! Bouncing rays back to you too hun!
Speak soon, J x
I haven't got an app yet gona try again bloody bank hol in the way, never mind. Had a few things sorted like my change of contract in hours have finally been confirmed whch is a huge weight off my mind, it's been dragging on for months.
let me know how you are xx
Sorry to be brief (for a change!!!!) but I need a cuddle!
Chat v.soon! J x
nikki x