Just all seems very... scary!

lusakapussa · Jul 12, 2008 3:55PM

Hello all 8\)

Well I am due approx 10th September with my first baby. I am just having a lot of worries and negative thoughts about how I am going to cope with looking after this new little life which is on the way. It all seems so scary and daunting, and to think that it will be a 24/7 job, being responsible for a baby and having to take care of her every little need frightens me. To be very honest I don't know if it is partly selfishness? I mean, I've had my life to myself and now I have to take a back seat and spend all my time looking after a baby... that probably makes me sound really evil $:\$ ( I hope I'm not that bad though... just when I read stories about having no sleep, not washing your hair in a week, being in a fog of exhaustion in the early days, I think 'how am I going to get through that'?! Also it worries me that through my pregnancy I haven't felt especially excited or even very happy about her upcoming arrival, like it doesn't seem real or something? I mean I don't dislike the fact I'm pregnant but I don't feel great about it either $:\$ ? And I've never really been a 'baby' sort of person, I don't find kids especially cute or appealing, if I see a friend's baby I don't coo over it or anything.
I'd really like to hear from any other person who has had similar thoughts or experiences... and please I hope you don't think I'm a bad person for feeling like this.

Thanks so much for reading xxx

Wilko · Jul 11, 2008 12:18PM

hi sweetheart,
i can really relate to how you are feeling, ive never been a broody person..and although we planned to try for a baby i was relatively open minded as to whether it would happen or not.
im now due in four weeks time and i cant imagine how im going to cope, however i didnt think id cope without alcohol for nine months either and i have! i keep reassuring myself that im reasonably intelligent, and ive got a fantastic DH and that if other people can manage then theres no reason why i cant!
im convinced once bump arrives ill be in love with 'it' so much that all my needs will be forgotten about.
dont feel bad hon, and dont feel alone. i keep being asked if im excited, but as this is my first i dont know what to be excited about - i mean its just such a huge unique thing, its hard to comprehend.
im sure we'll both be fine hon.....just make the most of your freedom now whilst you still can. im sure our babies will enrich our lives in ways we cant imagine, and once they're here i bet we cant even remember what life was like before hand!
take care hon x x

gsmummy55 · Jul 12, 2008 3:55PM

Hi, its normal to feel this way, I was 19 when I had my baby so I didnt have much money or much of a life before him, lol, so in a way I didn't have anything to "miss" which has helped, but these thoughts ur having are normal worries & definitely dont make you a bad person. My baby is 9 weeks old now and Wilko is right, I can hardly remember a time before him. As for not washing your hair in a week, I doubt that will happen lol. Some people don't like doing this but I just leave my lo in his swinging chair in the front room while I have a shower (as long as hes fed and changed, strapped in, door locked etc) or bring his carseat up with me. You will still have a life, you just have to wait until babys asleep to resume it! Its honestly not that exhausting, and it is 10 times more rewarding anyway. You will be so proud of all the little things your baby learns every day and its amazing to watch them grow. I bonded with my baby from the off even though I had a very difficult birth and emcs and he wasnt planned either. But even if you dont bond straightaway thats normal too and nothing to be ashamed of as newborns can be, well, quite boring once the initial thrills worn off! even if it is hard to start you just keep going and think "it will get better". x

Just all seems very... scary!

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