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someone help please, sorry long
i dont really know how to start this but i need some advice or maybe just to talk to someone i feel so ashamed and such a rubbish mum.
I have a 2 year old ds and a 9 month old dd and i honestly dont feel as though i can cope with my son anymore and i dont get any support at home.
I love ds to bits but every day is a real challenge for me. He can be the most lovely little boy but half way through the day his behaviour completely changes. I get hit, pinched, kicked, bit and spat at. I cant leave the house with him as the minute we go anywhere the tantrums start. For instance if he is in the seat in the shopping trolley he will kick out at random strangers and try to spit at them or if we go to soft play he will push and hit other children.
I have spoken to my health visitor about it all, thinking that maybe he had adhd or something but she tells me that allthough its hard, this is normal behaviour, i cant accept that.
I dont know where he has picked the spitting thing up from, nobody as far as i am aware has ever spat in front of him. The only thing that i can think of is that he did it the once and dp really told him off for it. I told him to ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good but he never listens to me, we have completely different parenting skills and sometimes the way he talks to ds makes me hate him and want to take my kids away. I have spoken to him about us needing to be on the same page but hes not intrested.
On top of this i have badly injured my leg (its in plaster) and i have been told to rest it or i am going to cause serious problems in the future but even though i have practically begged dp to help me out round the house he does for half a day under protest then all the housework falls back on to me. I think that he is sick of me moaning and nagging at him but i physically cant do it all myself.
Because of everything that is going on my relationship is suffering (we havent even had sex for about 5 months, that just feels like another chore on my already long list) we dont really talk unless its to have a go at each other.
Someone please help i have got nobody else to talk to
I have a 2 year old ds and a 9 month old dd and i honestly dont feel as though i can cope with my son anymore and i dont get any support at home.
I love ds to bits but every day is a real challenge for me. He can be the most lovely little boy but half way through the day his behaviour completely changes. I get hit, pinched, kicked, bit and spat at. I cant leave the house with him as the minute we go anywhere the tantrums start. For instance if he is in the seat in the shopping trolley he will kick out at random strangers and try to spit at them or if we go to soft play he will push and hit other children.
I have spoken to my health visitor about it all, thinking that maybe he had adhd or something but she tells me that allthough its hard, this is normal behaviour, i cant accept that.
I dont know where he has picked the spitting thing up from, nobody as far as i am aware has ever spat in front of him. The only thing that i can think of is that he did it the once and dp really told him off for it. I told him to ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good but he never listens to me, we have completely different parenting skills and sometimes the way he talks to ds makes me hate him and want to take my kids away. I have spoken to him about us needing to be on the same page but hes not intrested.
On top of this i have badly injured my leg (its in plaster) and i have been told to rest it or i am going to cause serious problems in the future but even though i have practically begged dp to help me out round the house he does for half a day under protest then all the housework falls back on to me. I think that he is sick of me moaning and nagging at him but i physically cant do it all myself.
Because of everything that is going on my relationship is suffering (we havent even had sex for about 5 months, that just feels like another chore on my already long list) we dont really talk unless its to have a go at each other.
Someone please help i have got nobody else to talk to
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Replies
its sounds like your son is at the "terrible twos" cliche i know, but it does happen, he is just trying to test you and see where your limits are,
im the same as you, my hubby is the good cop, im bad cop, but both my boys know my limits, you just have to set them
i know shes young, but if your younger one sees your older one getting away with it, she will do the same,
i found a good one with my younger one was asking him to go away, as i wasnt very fond of him at that particular time, he would get upset, id say ill always love you, but right now, i dont like you very much, it worked wonders,
I'm sure it is just a phase and testing bounderies but if you truly think there's a problem I would suggest you try the dr rather than the hv as personally I find the hv quite vague about anything important