Anyone???????

Hi im just wanting to have a moan,so sorry girls lol!BUT im just feeling abit low,im a single mom and am coming to the end of my maternity,ive decided not to return to my job as it included weekends and i just dont want to be working them anymore,i want weekend to be family time with my little boy and it also wouldnt be fair to ask my mum to look after my son on weekends as she works all week herself,unthough she would do and loves having my son i just wouldnt feel right about it!its hard and quite scarey to be out of work for the time being as ive always worked and i hate the whole idea of living off benefits and rightly or wrongly to many ppl look down on single moms on benefits,but all are situations are different and i guess i worry about other ppls opinions,i plan to return to a better suited job soon but with child care costs and the like i may even be better off not working,i just dont like the idea of it?!?!Its also so very lonely spending most days in on my own with only little one for company morning till night just to do it all over again the next day!im quite a shy person and am put off going to a mother and baby group as i wont know anyone,i also cant drive so this presents its own set of problems!again cause im not working now i have loss contact with some of my freinds as i used to work with some of them and now i rarely hear from them,and everyone seems to have forgotton i excist(ok tad dramatic but it is how i feel)i dunno im hoping it will get better,because i do feel at times im just pottering around my house and not really living though my son is a constant source of joy for me and really is a wonderfully happy and easy little baby,wouldnt be without him but feel like ive lost a paryt of me somewhere along the way! anyone else been or does feel this way?sorry for the huge moan just having a down day i think!x