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taking children to a funeral....advice please
Sorry for the depressing post.......
sadly the girls great grandad passed away on the weekend and the in-laws want know if they will be attneding the funeral with us. im not to worried about dd2 as she is 2yrs and wont really pay attention but a bit unsure about dd1 who will be 6 nxt mth. ive explained to her that he died and her response was just "ok mummy" in a really casual way then carried on playing. I dont mind taking them but I just dont want it to backfire and for her to start worrying about death/dying etc- the topic has never really come up before but i know she took it in as she came home from school today saying she told her friends about great grandad dying. also, if they dont go to the funeral i wont be able to go as its on a wednesday at 3pm so there will be no1 to look after the girls for me anyway. arrrgh im so stressed about it, not knowing what to do for the best, obviously i dont want them growing up not knowing about death and thinking life is sweet and simple as its not. help.....what do u ladies think? any1 had any experience with this? xxxx
sadly the girls great grandad passed away on the weekend and the in-laws want know if they will be attneding the funeral with us. im not to worried about dd2 as she is 2yrs and wont really pay attention but a bit unsure about dd1 who will be 6 nxt mth. ive explained to her that he died and her response was just "ok mummy" in a really casual way then carried on playing. I dont mind taking them but I just dont want it to backfire and for her to start worrying about death/dying etc- the topic has never really come up before but i know she took it in as she came home from school today saying she told her friends about great grandad dying. also, if they dont go to the funeral i wont be able to go as its on a wednesday at 3pm so there will be no1 to look after the girls for me anyway. arrrgh im so stressed about it, not knowing what to do for the best, obviously i dont want them growing up not knowing about death and thinking life is sweet and simple as its not. help.....what do u ladies think? any1 had any experience with this? xxxx
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Replies
This is just my take but when I was 6 my mother died and I went to the funeral as my Dad was advised this was good for acceptance, feeling included and to say goodbye.
I found it useful although I don't remember lots about it but I remember seeing so many people come and they all told me how wonderful she was.
The part I found distressing was not being allowed to the crematorium. In the end this distressed me as all that stayed in my mind was that my Mum was going to be burned and I obviously didn't see the nice service part. It wasn't explained very well and I felt hidden away from it.
I think take them but make sure they know what will happen, that their relatives will be sad and that its ok to ask questions etc.
I hope this helps. x